[fic] Love and Marriage in Las Vegas [Titus][for lamiaastaroth]
written for a request made by: lamiaastaroth
Fandom: Titus (TV-series)
Pairing/characters: Christopher Titus/Dave Scovil
Warnings/notes: Let's see, I've seen *how* many episodes of this series ... Ahem. Shall we say 'not all of them' and leave it at that?
Disclaimer: I don't own Titus.
**********
"We could get married in Vegas," Titus says, and Dave nearly falls off the backseat of the car he's been lounging in, because it's winter, and the heating system in the car shop only has two settings - scorching hot and off - and on top of that, two seconds ago, they'd been fantasizing about someone famous coming here to get their car fixed, like maybe Britney Spears or George Michael.
Dave rather liked the idea of George Michael, even if the guy's not as young and 'whamming' as he used to be anymore. (Titus made that joke about George being 'whamming' once, but Dave thought it was a good one, so he kept it and uses it whenever he can, without permission.)
"Bad idea," Tommy says. His father is a big fan of George Michael's, 'since before he was whamming' according to himself. Tommy said that personally, he prefered Britney Spears, because he's straight and male. Dave didn't quite see how that added up - but Titus had nodded, so Dave had nodded, too.
"Why?" Dave asks, missing the beer and grabbing a coke instead.
"Everyone who marries in Vegas gets divorced within six months," Tommy replies, with a frown for those of little faith and faithfulness. "You should get married in one of those nice churches they have in the country, like that one in 'The Runaway Bride'."
Dave wonders if he's an idiot for not jumping up and down with enthusiasm at the idea of getting married in a church that looks like it'd make a great starting place for a marathon. He's not sure if there's any prospect worth jumping up and down for in this heat, actually.
"I don't think Dad ever got married in Vegas," Titus says.
"Maybe he didn't like it," Dave offers. His knowledge about Vegas is limited to there being dancing girls, gambling tables and neon-lights, and he's not actually sure about the dancing girls being real, or just something to attract gullible tourists who believe everything they read in the ads.
"I'm sure Nancy and Erin would just love one of those nice churches in the country," Tommy says, and Dave's beginning to suspect Tommy's been brainwashed by a romantic evangelist, or maybe an evangelic romantic.
"What do Nancy and Erin have to do with it?" Dave starts to ask, because he honestly doesn't know. Titus throws a beercan at his head before he can get out the first 'do' though. "Hey!" The beercan's still full, so Dave decides to forget about expanding his knowledge and have a drink instead.
It's tropical in the garage. That must be why Titus is all red and sweaty.
"Anyway, the other day, we got this customer who - " Titus launches into a story that's still funny after the fifth time Dave's heard it, and one that Tommy hasn't heard before at all, so Dave keeps quiet and drinks his beer, and thinks about other things that make Titus red and sweaty.
Tommy goes home around five, a little red and sweaty himself, and Dave tells him to come in a t-shirt tomorrow, while Titus tells him not to forget his scarf. Neither of them feels like going home to be too early for dinner, so they stay in the car shop.
"If I ever get married, I don't want to get divorced in six months," Titus says.
"Oh," Dave says, fishing up another coke. It's the last one, and they're all out of beer, too, so it's a good thing the day's almost over.
"If I ever get married, I want to get divorced in six /seconds/ and take the next plane to Neverneverland," Titus says, grabbing a beer from some corner of the freezer that Dave's missed somehow. "Marriage is overrated anyway."
Daves a bit sketchy on topography, but he knows where Neverneverland is. More or less. Something about going left at the third star, or was it right? It's not Vegas, at any rate.
"That's okay. We can just not get married," Dave says generously.
"No, Dave, we just /can not/ get married, unless we do it in Vegas," Titus says. "It's a political issue. It's why I told you not to vote on Bush. Remember?"
"You said I shouldn't vote on Bush because he was an idiot," Dave says. He's got a good memory when it comes to things people tell him. He only forgets the unpleasant things, like 'Shut up, Dave!' and 'Idiot!' and 'You're not my son!'. It saves head-space.
"Oh well, maybe we can emigrate to Europe. Or make the priest believe my name's actually Chris, and that I'm very shy about showing people my face, and that we're both orphans." Titus looks pensive. "Dad wouldn't come anyway."
"I bet /Dad/ voted on Bush," Dave says, just to make a contribution.
"He and millions of other idiots." Titus sighs. "C'mon, Dave, let's go home."
"Okay," Dave wonders if they can get back here later. He's always fantasized about sex on the backseat of a car, at a summer-night's drive-in, and getting half of that doesn't sound half bad either.
~the end~
Fandom: Titus (TV-series)
Pairing/characters: Christopher Titus/Dave Scovil
Warnings/notes: Let's see, I've seen *how* many episodes of this series ... Ahem. Shall we say 'not all of them' and leave it at that?
Disclaimer: I don't own Titus.
**********
"We could get married in Vegas," Titus says, and Dave nearly falls off the backseat of the car he's been lounging in, because it's winter, and the heating system in the car shop only has two settings - scorching hot and off - and on top of that, two seconds ago, they'd been fantasizing about someone famous coming here to get their car fixed, like maybe Britney Spears or George Michael.
Dave rather liked the idea of George Michael, even if the guy's not as young and 'whamming' as he used to be anymore. (Titus made that joke about George being 'whamming' once, but Dave thought it was a good one, so he kept it and uses it whenever he can, without permission.)
"Bad idea," Tommy says. His father is a big fan of George Michael's, 'since before he was whamming' according to himself. Tommy said that personally, he prefered Britney Spears, because he's straight and male. Dave didn't quite see how that added up - but Titus had nodded, so Dave had nodded, too.
"Why?" Dave asks, missing the beer and grabbing a coke instead.
"Everyone who marries in Vegas gets divorced within six months," Tommy replies, with a frown for those of little faith and faithfulness. "You should get married in one of those nice churches they have in the country, like that one in 'The Runaway Bride'."
Dave wonders if he's an idiot for not jumping up and down with enthusiasm at the idea of getting married in a church that looks like it'd make a great starting place for a marathon. He's not sure if there's any prospect worth jumping up and down for in this heat, actually.
"I don't think Dad ever got married in Vegas," Titus says.
"Maybe he didn't like it," Dave offers. His knowledge about Vegas is limited to there being dancing girls, gambling tables and neon-lights, and he's not actually sure about the dancing girls being real, or just something to attract gullible tourists who believe everything they read in the ads.
"I'm sure Nancy and Erin would just love one of those nice churches in the country," Tommy says, and Dave's beginning to suspect Tommy's been brainwashed by a romantic evangelist, or maybe an evangelic romantic.
"What do Nancy and Erin have to do with it?" Dave starts to ask, because he honestly doesn't know. Titus throws a beercan at his head before he can get out the first 'do' though. "Hey!" The beercan's still full, so Dave decides to forget about expanding his knowledge and have a drink instead.
It's tropical in the garage. That must be why Titus is all red and sweaty.
"Anyway, the other day, we got this customer who - " Titus launches into a story that's still funny after the fifth time Dave's heard it, and one that Tommy hasn't heard before at all, so Dave keeps quiet and drinks his beer, and thinks about other things that make Titus red and sweaty.
Tommy goes home around five, a little red and sweaty himself, and Dave tells him to come in a t-shirt tomorrow, while Titus tells him not to forget his scarf. Neither of them feels like going home to be too early for dinner, so they stay in the car shop.
"If I ever get married, I don't want to get divorced in six months," Titus says.
"Oh," Dave says, fishing up another coke. It's the last one, and they're all out of beer, too, so it's a good thing the day's almost over.
"If I ever get married, I want to get divorced in six /seconds/ and take the next plane to Neverneverland," Titus says, grabbing a beer from some corner of the freezer that Dave's missed somehow. "Marriage is overrated anyway."
Daves a bit sketchy on topography, but he knows where Neverneverland is. More or less. Something about going left at the third star, or was it right? It's not Vegas, at any rate.
"That's okay. We can just not get married," Dave says generously.
"No, Dave, we just /can not/ get married, unless we do it in Vegas," Titus says. "It's a political issue. It's why I told you not to vote on Bush. Remember?"
"You said I shouldn't vote on Bush because he was an idiot," Dave says. He's got a good memory when it comes to things people tell him. He only forgets the unpleasant things, like 'Shut up, Dave!' and 'Idiot!' and 'You're not my son!'. It saves head-space.
"Oh well, maybe we can emigrate to Europe. Or make the priest believe my name's actually Chris, and that I'm very shy about showing people my face, and that we're both orphans." Titus looks pensive. "Dad wouldn't come anyway."
"I bet /Dad/ voted on Bush," Dave says, just to make a contribution.
"He and millions of other idiots." Titus sighs. "C'mon, Dave, let's go home."
"Okay," Dave wonders if they can get back here later. He's always fantasized about sex on the backseat of a car, at a summer-night's drive-in, and getting half of that doesn't sound half bad either.
~the end~