fic: catching butterflies, for lizas_lines, Loveless
title: catching butterflies
author: trixie
disclaimer: not at all, someone with way more talent than me gets the money
summary: Soubi and Ritsuka at the amusement park
notes: for lizas_lines, for this request on fic on demand. takes place post anime series, just before rituska and crew start their final year in high school. could be seen as a prequel to renting perfection.
~*~
Soubi pushed Ritsuka up against the wall behind the Dogem Cars, shoving his knee between Ritsuka's legs. He licked his lips, a feral smile spreading out over his face.
Ritsuka glared up at him with all his might. "Soubi! What the hell do you think you're doing?"
Soubi leaned down, the trails of his hair falling in Ritsuka's shoulders. "Can't you tell?"
Ritsuka pushed him back, but Soubi wasn't budging. "Who said you could do this? I'm ordering you now! Back off!"
His Master's glare was a powerful thing, but Soubi behaved as if he were unaffected. "An order? But I'm not good at following orders. That's what you always say." He started nuzzling Ritsuka's neck, snaking his tongue out to taste the tender flesh below Ritsuka's ear. Ritsuka pushed harder on his shoulders, but his fingers were clenched in Soubi's jacket. He squirmed against the wall, as if he wanted to run away, but he was moaning breathily.
Mixed messages were the bane of Soubi's existence.
"Ritsuka-kun!" Yuiko called out. "Oh, there you are, with Soubi-san." She bounced over happily, ignoring the look of contempt on Soubi's face. Yayoi tried to hold her back, but she was oblivious of everything she didn't want to see. "Ritsuka-kun, come on! We've got a lot more to do."
Ritsuka looked up at Soubi, desperate, uncertain, so Soubi… let go, and stood back.
Gave Ritsuka back to his friends.
He put his hands in his pockets, and looked away, refusing to look Ritsuka in the eye. Yuiko dragged Ritsuka off, and sheepishly, Yayoi followed, and Soubi trailed behind them all.
Watching.
The only ride left was the Ferris wheel. Yuiko had shied away from it earlier, but since it was the only ride left with which to extend their time together, she was willing to brave it again. Ritsuka looked back, but Soubi was still refusing to look at him. He pulled away from Yuiko, and went to Soubi's side.
"We're going on the Ferris wheel. Come on," he grumbled.
"You go on ahead," Soubi sighed. "I'm going to have a cigarette."
"Come on, Ritsuka-kun!" Yuiko urged, having already bounced to the head of the line.
Ritsuka looked at her, and Soubi sighed, strolling over to a bench, already fishing out his cigarettes.
Grabbing Soubi's other hand, Ritsuka pulled him along. "Come on, we're going on the Ferris wheel!"
"Ritsuka!" Soubi objected, but Ritsuka was no longer listening to him. He was now taller, and stronger, though he was still shorter than Soubi, and with a tendency to be lean. He hadn't grown up to look much like Seimei at all, at least, from Soubi's perspective.
That was a good thing, but…
Ritsuka from before would never be able to drag Soubi against his will anywhere!
They got to the front of the line, with Yuiko, and she yelped with excitement, running like the child Soubi remembered toward the open car. Yayoi got in with her, but Ritsuka hung back, and looked at the operator.
"We'll take the next car."
Soubi blinked, and looked at Ritsuka. Yuiko tried to protest, but the door to their car was already being closed.
"Ritsuka?" Soubi asked, but Ritsuka was stubbornly looking away. They got on their own car, and sat opposite each other as the door was being locked.
The wheel started to turn, and they shook, but Ritsuka was still just clinging to his seat without giving Soubi as much encouragement as a glance.
"Did you want to be alone with me so we could kiss?" Soubi asked hopefully.
"Don't be stupid!" Ritsuka quickly returned.
"Stupid," Soubi echoed. He looked away, leaning over to sit right next to the window. He put his elbow up on the narrow ledge of the window, and put his chin in his hand. "Is it stupid to want to kiss you, Ritsuka?"
"I… that…" Ritsuka bit his lip, and looked away from Soubi, his cheeks burning. "That's all you ever think about!"
"Yes," Soubi replied quietly. "But you never think about it, right? So there must be something wrong with me. How troublesome for you, to be saddled down with such a pervert."
"You're not a pervert," Ritsuka grumbled. "You just don't understand boundaries."
"Boundaries…" Soubi sighed. "I understand them well. The boundary between you and me… I feel it constantly. I feel like I'm at the bottom of the ocean, and you're a million miles above me."
"Stop being so dramatic," Ritsuka grumbled, folding his arms over his stomach.
Soubi started to laugh. He slipped down to his knees, and put his hands on either side of Ritsuka on the bench. He put his head down on Ritsuka's thigh, and sighed heavily.
"S-Soubi… what are you doing?" Ritsuka inched back, but there was nowhere for him to go.
"Am I so disgusting that you can't bear to think of touching me? Do you desire me at all? Am I… am I beautiful to you, Master?" Soubi pleaded, looking up at Ritsuka…
His eyes… Ritsuka had to look away. He couldn't stand to see Soubi in pain.
Slowly, he slipped his fingers into Soubi's hair. "Idiot. How could you not be beautiful? That's not even an issue. Why would you think that I didn't… didn't… you know. For you."
"Because you won't even say it," Soubi said, turned his face so his hair hid his expression. Through his jeans, Ritsuka could feel Soubi breathing on his thigh.
He squirmed in his seat.
"Because you never touch me. And you never want me to touch you. You're not a child anymore. It's normal to feel desire at your age. If I can't make you want me now, I'll never be able to. Just like with Seimei…" he sighed.
"I'm not Seimei!" Ritsuka hotly declared, the force of his objection so great, he shook the car.
"Ritsuka?" Soubi looked up at him, surprised.
Ritsuka's cheeks burned bright red. "You want me to desire you… I can't understand that. Don't you already know… how much I want to be with you? I think about it all the time. Someday… someday we'll live together. Take care of each other. L-like that, too. I think about it… until it hurts. Because… I want you so much, but once we're together… we'll probably never part…"
Soubi frowned, reaching up to touch Ritsuka's face. "Don't you want that? Are you…" He concentrated for a moment, remembering something he'd read, perhaps. "Afraid of commitment, or something like that?"
"Not like that at all!" Ritsuka snapped. "I'm worried…" he bit his lip and looked away. "I'm worried about mother. But."
"There may not be anything you can do for her, Ritsuka," Soubi sighed. "And I worry more about you."
Ritsuka hung his head. "I know. I want to leave."
"You can. You can come be with me," Soubi offered immediately.
Ritsuka seemed uncertain. "But. Your apartment…"
"We can get another apartment. One more suitable for two. You know I'd do anything for you, Ritsuka," Soubi begged.
Ritsuka wound a strand of Soubi's hair around his finger. "Yeah. I know that by now."
"Will you come and live with me, Ritsuka?" Soubi asked, breathless.
Ritsuka parted his lips, and slowly bent down, until his lips touched Soubi's. Soubi's arms came around him, pulling him closer. He grasped at Soubi's hair, at his shirt, clinging to him. At a time like this, any distance at all between them felt like the eternal emptiness of space.
They didn't even feel the ride grinding to stop, or hear the door unlocking and opening.
"Sirs! Please. We need you to disembark!" The operator, looking away, his face red, tapped his fingers on the glass, to jar them even more.
They caught up to Yuiko and Yayoi, who were both still recovering from the ride, as Yuiko had not yet mastered her fear. Ritsuka's hand tightened around Soubi's, holding him close.
As if Soubi would wander away.
"Ritsuka-kun," Yuiko looked up sheepishly. "Ah, do you remember, the last time we were on one of these, and there was a butterfly you tried to catch, but it flew away?"
"Yeah," Ritsuka smiled brightly, looking up shyly at Soubi. "I remember."
Soubi's hand tightened around his, and he smiled mysteriously.
Ritsuka's stomach was doing flip-flops. He couldn't believe he got caught making out with Soubi. He couldn't believe that they had decided something so important on a Ferris wheel.
It was… exciting, though. Ritsuka decided that he was excited.
~*~
end
author: trixie
disclaimer: not at all, someone with way more talent than me gets the money
summary: Soubi and Ritsuka at the amusement park
notes: for lizas_lines, for this request on fic on demand. takes place post anime series, just before rituska and crew start their final year in high school. could be seen as a prequel to renting perfection.
~*~
Soubi pushed Ritsuka up against the wall behind the Dogem Cars, shoving his knee between Ritsuka's legs. He licked his lips, a feral smile spreading out over his face.
Ritsuka glared up at him with all his might. "Soubi! What the hell do you think you're doing?"
Soubi leaned down, the trails of his hair falling in Ritsuka's shoulders. "Can't you tell?"
Ritsuka pushed him back, but Soubi wasn't budging. "Who said you could do this? I'm ordering you now! Back off!"
His Master's glare was a powerful thing, but Soubi behaved as if he were unaffected. "An order? But I'm not good at following orders. That's what you always say." He started nuzzling Ritsuka's neck, snaking his tongue out to taste the tender flesh below Ritsuka's ear. Ritsuka pushed harder on his shoulders, but his fingers were clenched in Soubi's jacket. He squirmed against the wall, as if he wanted to run away, but he was moaning breathily.
Mixed messages were the bane of Soubi's existence.
"Ritsuka-kun!" Yuiko called out. "Oh, there you are, with Soubi-san." She bounced over happily, ignoring the look of contempt on Soubi's face. Yayoi tried to hold her back, but she was oblivious of everything she didn't want to see. "Ritsuka-kun, come on! We've got a lot more to do."
Ritsuka looked up at Soubi, desperate, uncertain, so Soubi… let go, and stood back.
Gave Ritsuka back to his friends.
He put his hands in his pockets, and looked away, refusing to look Ritsuka in the eye. Yuiko dragged Ritsuka off, and sheepishly, Yayoi followed, and Soubi trailed behind them all.
Watching.
The only ride left was the Ferris wheel. Yuiko had shied away from it earlier, but since it was the only ride left with which to extend their time together, she was willing to brave it again. Ritsuka looked back, but Soubi was still refusing to look at him. He pulled away from Yuiko, and went to Soubi's side.
"We're going on the Ferris wheel. Come on," he grumbled.
"You go on ahead," Soubi sighed. "I'm going to have a cigarette."
"Come on, Ritsuka-kun!" Yuiko urged, having already bounced to the head of the line.
Ritsuka looked at her, and Soubi sighed, strolling over to a bench, already fishing out his cigarettes.
Grabbing Soubi's other hand, Ritsuka pulled him along. "Come on, we're going on the Ferris wheel!"
"Ritsuka!" Soubi objected, but Ritsuka was no longer listening to him. He was now taller, and stronger, though he was still shorter than Soubi, and with a tendency to be lean. He hadn't grown up to look much like Seimei at all, at least, from Soubi's perspective.
That was a good thing, but…
Ritsuka from before would never be able to drag Soubi against his will anywhere!
They got to the front of the line, with Yuiko, and she yelped with excitement, running like the child Soubi remembered toward the open car. Yayoi got in with her, but Ritsuka hung back, and looked at the operator.
"We'll take the next car."
Soubi blinked, and looked at Ritsuka. Yuiko tried to protest, but the door to their car was already being closed.
"Ritsuka?" Soubi asked, but Ritsuka was stubbornly looking away. They got on their own car, and sat opposite each other as the door was being locked.
The wheel started to turn, and they shook, but Ritsuka was still just clinging to his seat without giving Soubi as much encouragement as a glance.
"Did you want to be alone with me so we could kiss?" Soubi asked hopefully.
"Don't be stupid!" Ritsuka quickly returned.
"Stupid," Soubi echoed. He looked away, leaning over to sit right next to the window. He put his elbow up on the narrow ledge of the window, and put his chin in his hand. "Is it stupid to want to kiss you, Ritsuka?"
"I… that…" Ritsuka bit his lip, and looked away from Soubi, his cheeks burning. "That's all you ever think about!"
"Yes," Soubi replied quietly. "But you never think about it, right? So there must be something wrong with me. How troublesome for you, to be saddled down with such a pervert."
"You're not a pervert," Ritsuka grumbled. "You just don't understand boundaries."
"Boundaries…" Soubi sighed. "I understand them well. The boundary between you and me… I feel it constantly. I feel like I'm at the bottom of the ocean, and you're a million miles above me."
"Stop being so dramatic," Ritsuka grumbled, folding his arms over his stomach.
Soubi started to laugh. He slipped down to his knees, and put his hands on either side of Ritsuka on the bench. He put his head down on Ritsuka's thigh, and sighed heavily.
"S-Soubi… what are you doing?" Ritsuka inched back, but there was nowhere for him to go.
"Am I so disgusting that you can't bear to think of touching me? Do you desire me at all? Am I… am I beautiful to you, Master?" Soubi pleaded, looking up at Ritsuka…
His eyes… Ritsuka had to look away. He couldn't stand to see Soubi in pain.
Slowly, he slipped his fingers into Soubi's hair. "Idiot. How could you not be beautiful? That's not even an issue. Why would you think that I didn't… didn't… you know. For you."
"Because you won't even say it," Soubi said, turned his face so his hair hid his expression. Through his jeans, Ritsuka could feel Soubi breathing on his thigh.
He squirmed in his seat.
"Because you never touch me. And you never want me to touch you. You're not a child anymore. It's normal to feel desire at your age. If I can't make you want me now, I'll never be able to. Just like with Seimei…" he sighed.
"I'm not Seimei!" Ritsuka hotly declared, the force of his objection so great, he shook the car.
"Ritsuka?" Soubi looked up at him, surprised.
Ritsuka's cheeks burned bright red. "You want me to desire you… I can't understand that. Don't you already know… how much I want to be with you? I think about it all the time. Someday… someday we'll live together. Take care of each other. L-like that, too. I think about it… until it hurts. Because… I want you so much, but once we're together… we'll probably never part…"
Soubi frowned, reaching up to touch Ritsuka's face. "Don't you want that? Are you…" He concentrated for a moment, remembering something he'd read, perhaps. "Afraid of commitment, or something like that?"
"Not like that at all!" Ritsuka snapped. "I'm worried…" he bit his lip and looked away. "I'm worried about mother. But."
"There may not be anything you can do for her, Ritsuka," Soubi sighed. "And I worry more about you."
Ritsuka hung his head. "I know. I want to leave."
"You can. You can come be with me," Soubi offered immediately.
Ritsuka seemed uncertain. "But. Your apartment…"
"We can get another apartment. One more suitable for two. You know I'd do anything for you, Ritsuka," Soubi begged.
Ritsuka wound a strand of Soubi's hair around his finger. "Yeah. I know that by now."
"Will you come and live with me, Ritsuka?" Soubi asked, breathless.
Ritsuka parted his lips, and slowly bent down, until his lips touched Soubi's. Soubi's arms came around him, pulling him closer. He grasped at Soubi's hair, at his shirt, clinging to him. At a time like this, any distance at all between them felt like the eternal emptiness of space.
They didn't even feel the ride grinding to stop, or hear the door unlocking and opening.
"Sirs! Please. We need you to disembark!" The operator, looking away, his face red, tapped his fingers on the glass, to jar them even more.
They caught up to Yuiko and Yayoi, who were both still recovering from the ride, as Yuiko had not yet mastered her fear. Ritsuka's hand tightened around Soubi's, holding him close.
As if Soubi would wander away.
"Ritsuka-kun," Yuiko looked up sheepishly. "Ah, do you remember, the last time we were on one of these, and there was a butterfly you tried to catch, but it flew away?"
"Yeah," Ritsuka smiled brightly, looking up shyly at Soubi. "I remember."
Soubi's hand tightened around his, and he smiled mysteriously.
Ritsuka's stomach was doing flip-flops. He couldn't believe he got caught making out with Soubi. He couldn't believe that they had decided something so important on a Ferris wheel.
It was… exciting, though. Ritsuka decided that he was excited.
~*~
end