[Fic] A Holiday - Crossover: Harry Potter/Artemis Fowl
Title: A Holiday
Author: fujurpreux
Written for: lil_ali
Request: Here
Rating: PG
Fandom: Crossover: Harry Potter/Artemis Fowl
Characters/Those Involved: Butler, Artemis Fowl, Draco Malfoy.
Warnings: Spoilers for AF: Just the first book. Spoilers for HP: Up to the third book.
Disclaimer: Not mine, just playing. =)
Summary: Artemis wants to see how Hogwarts is like.
Artemis was bent over a table, carefully handling what seemed to be a very old book. His hands were covered with rubber gloves, which stressed out the youngster's need to keep it intact. Of course, Artemis was always neat like that; it was, along with his powerful brain, one of his defining characteristics.
Sometimes, Butler wondered how his life would be if he had to protect a normal boy, one who actually acted his age, whose biggest ambition were to sneak out of the house to go to a party and meet girls.
Butler suppressed a shudder. He wouldn't like it. It'd be frustrating. How other bodyguards endured trailing behind a badly dressed, dull kid who enjoyed loud music right into his ears, was a mystery for Butler. He'd most probably end up returning this hypothetical master back to his house every time he got out without permission, under the excuse that he'd be safer there, the exact opposite to what he did with Artemis.
True, Artemis had sneaked a girl inside Fowl Manor once, but it had been both a law enforcement officer and a fairy. Thus, it didn't count.
“You wanted to see me, Artemis?” he asked, more a formality than a real question.
“What would you think of a trip to Scotland, old friend?” Artemis replied, eyes still fixed on the book.
“That'd depend of where we're exactly going. There are some people in Edinburgh nursing grudges right now.”
Butler thought he saw a hint of a smirk in Artemis' mouth when he turned to him, handing him a pair of gloves. “We're not going to Edinburgh, but further north,” the youngster said as he gestured to his bodyguard to look at the book.
Butler did as he was told and looked. The yellow, frail pages opened over the table showed the drawing of a castle, and the flowery letters formed words in Old English.
“It tells the story of a magic school founded by four powerful wizards,” Artemis said, simply.
Butler stopped himself before saying 'And you believe that?' After all, they'd suffered a siege by gnomes before. His highly intelligent master believing in the existence of a couple of medieval wizards shouldn't be enough to surprise him anymore.
“Quite fascinating, I assure you. But that's not it. Turn the page,” Artemis added.
Butler did so. There was a map there, pointing the exact location this school was supposed to be. At the far north of Scotland. The bodyguard nodded. “We're going there.”It was a statement, not a question.
Artemis walked towards his desk and moved his laptop's screen so Butler could see it. “I've been investigating that spot. All satellites show only the ruins of a medieval castle.”
What's so surprising about that? Butler thought, but he didn't voice it. Instead, he awaited patiently as Artemis produced a thick book in rustic from one of the desk drawers. It looked fairly new.
“This is the newest edition of the book I just showed you. It was printed this year.”
Now, that was surprising. Even by Butler's new standards.
Artemis handed him the book, whose cover said 'Hogwarts, A History'. Butler quickly found the same page he was looking at in the oldest one. It had the same drawing, but everything was written now in modern English.
“The school is still active,” Artemis said. “I want to see it. Just see it,” he repeated, waving his hand. “Think of it as a spontaneous holiday.”
Butler sighed inwardly. Of course, Artemis would be the only person on Earth whose idea of a holiday was to infiltrate in a magic school already knowing first hand how dangerous magic could be. At least, it truly seemed spontaneous.
And he wasn't planning on stealing anything this time around.
Hopefully.
This job will never be boring, he told himself as he left the room to pack.
-
Butler spent his time on the plane reading 'Hogwarts, A History', getting familiarised with the new ground he and Artemis were going to step into.
“Artemis, it says here that the school is protected by spells so only wizards and witches can see it.”
“Yes,” Artemis said. He was reclined in the seat, his eyes closed and his hands on his lap.
“How are we going to get in?”
The corners of Artemis' mouth curved upwards in a way that made Butler shiver. Slightly. “I'll tell you when we get there,” the boy said.
“Very well,” he said as he went back to his reading. He was still curious, but he trusted his young master. He only hoped the weapons he'd prepared were enough to keep them both safe.
-
They've been walking through a forest for about half an hour, after it become obvious the motorised vehicle couldn't take them any further. Artemis hadn't voiced any kind of complain, despite the fact that he hated, as Butler knew far to well, to engage in any physical activity. Butler didn't even thought of offering himself to carry him. That idea wouldn't be welcomed at all; it crashed with Artemis dignity, probably the only thing the boy would be willing to die for.
Artemis was walking ahead, holding a GPS he consulted frequently. He stopped, all of a sudden, a few meters away from a clearing. “Here,” he said as he put the device in his backpack.
“There are no ruins here,” Butler said.
Artemis walked towards the clearing and brushed away the fallen leaves with his foot. “But there's a path.”
Artemis was right, as usual. There was a stone path, apparently as old as the book in Artemis' study. Now Butler knew that it was there, it was easy for him to see it came down from the hill and went down until it was lost from sight.
“According to my sources,” Artemis said, “the students get a few Saturdays free to go to the town down there, today being one of them. My plan, as you're surely imagining right now, is wait here until one of them comes alone and make him take us there. That way we should be able to see the school.”
Butler nodded. It made sense, as usual. Though now the idea of having to intimidate a teenager into going back to school made him feel a little bad, magic or not; he'd much rather have to scam yet another crime lord.
About one hour later, a long thread of boys and girls dressed in black robes walked down the path. Butler didn't bother to be surprised. He just prepared to scare the soul out of the first unfortunate student that he saw coming all by himself.
A good twenty minutes later, their lone appeared. It was a blond boy who seemed to have a scorn stuck on his face. He was looking at the floor as he walked, and he was muttering to himself, so he didn't notice neither Butler nor Artemis until he'd practically on top of them. “Those Crabbe and Goyle, getting detention today. We'll have to talk later. They have yet to see me angry- Hey, who are you?”
“Do you see this?” Butler asked in his most polite tone of voice while pointing at the boy with a gun. “It's the muggle version of a wand. If you don't want me to use it, you better follow us and keep your hands where I can see them.”
The boy stammered. “You-you're muggles!”
“I actually like 'muggle' better than mudman or mudboy,” Artemis said thoughtfully.
“How did you get here? You're not supposed to be here! Dumbledore will hear from my father!”
“Maybe,” Artemis said. He sounded really amused. “But later. Come on, you don't want my friend to use his 'wand'. Then not only Dumbledore won't hear about your father; your father won't hear about you. ”
That's too harsh, Artemis.
But, then again, this was magic they were dealing with.
“I am not going anywhere!” the boy said. “Muggles can't have wands! You don't have magic!” He was obviously more disgusted than scared.
Artemis folded his arms. “Just our luck. We had to meet one of those pure-blood supremacists. Butler, show him.”
Butler shot at one of the trees that surrounded them. The sound of it and the branch that fell on the floor had finally scared the blond boy.
“You see now?” Artemis asked. “We're not some defenceless creatures you can stomp on. Remember that. Now come with us.”
-
“What do you want? Money? Power? Whatever it is, my father can give it to you!” the blond boy stuttered, his hands up, just as he'd been instructed. His wand rested safely in one of Butler's pockets.
Artemis shrugged. “I have all of those things,” he said matter-of-factly. “What I want is you to take me to Hogwarts.”
The boy gaped at Artemis.
“Yes, you heard it right,” Artemis continued. “I want you to take me to Hogwarts. Don't bother telling me about the spells, I know it all. I also know that if I go holding the hand of a wizard who's willing to take me there I'd be able to see the castle.”
“I'm not willing to take you there.”
“Oh, but you will be. If you want to go back in one piece, that is.”
“You wouldn't dare!”
“Try me.”
“Do you know who I am?”
“No. And I don't need to know. Just take me there and you walk free.”
The blond boy was so angry he was panting. If he really was a pure-blood supremacists, and Butler didn't doubt it, being kidnapped by a pair of muggles surely was one of the worst things that had ever happened to him.
Well, he was young still.
“As soon as we get there,” the boy said, “I'll call the professors and tell them all about the two of you.”
“Fair enough.” Artemis reached out his hand. “Shall we go?”
The blond boy took it with his own. It was like if he was being forced to touch the body of a rat dead one month ago.
He's now one minute older, Butler thought, holding up a snicker.
-
“That was quite an experience, don't you think so, old friend?” Artemis said as he sat down on his chair, back at Fowl Manor.
“I thought they were going to make us forget everything,” Butler said.
“Who could say no to a first edition of 'Hogwarts, A History'?”
Butler shuddered at the memory of the librarian and the bushy-haired girl who had stepped forward to talk about the historical value of the precious document. They had done it as vehemently as if they were trying to convince a tyrant of not killing a baby.
“Besides, Dumbledore was smart enough to understand that if I found them once, I can do it again, obliviate or not. Make sure to ship the book to the address they gave us first thing tomorrow Monday.”
“Of course, Artemis. But I still think we should tighten security in case Draco's father shows up demanding satisfaction.”
“Let him come,” Artemis said, his chin now resting on his hands. “I'm ready for him.”
Butler smiled despite of himself.
As certain as the Sun will rise tomorrow, this job will never be boring.
Author: fujurpreux
Written for: lil_ali
Request: Here
Rating: PG
Fandom: Crossover: Harry Potter/Artemis Fowl
Characters/Those Involved: Butler, Artemis Fowl, Draco Malfoy.
Warnings: Spoilers for AF: Just the first book. Spoilers for HP: Up to the third book.
Disclaimer: Not mine, just playing. =)
Summary: Artemis wants to see how Hogwarts is like.
Artemis was bent over a table, carefully handling what seemed to be a very old book. His hands were covered with rubber gloves, which stressed out the youngster's need to keep it intact. Of course, Artemis was always neat like that; it was, along with his powerful brain, one of his defining characteristics.
Sometimes, Butler wondered how his life would be if he had to protect a normal boy, one who actually acted his age, whose biggest ambition were to sneak out of the house to go to a party and meet girls.
Butler suppressed a shudder. He wouldn't like it. It'd be frustrating. How other bodyguards endured trailing behind a badly dressed, dull kid who enjoyed loud music right into his ears, was a mystery for Butler. He'd most probably end up returning this hypothetical master back to his house every time he got out without permission, under the excuse that he'd be safer there, the exact opposite to what he did with Artemis.
True, Artemis had sneaked a girl inside Fowl Manor once, but it had been both a law enforcement officer and a fairy. Thus, it didn't count.
“You wanted to see me, Artemis?” he asked, more a formality than a real question.
“What would you think of a trip to Scotland, old friend?” Artemis replied, eyes still fixed on the book.
“That'd depend of where we're exactly going. There are some people in Edinburgh nursing grudges right now.”
Butler thought he saw a hint of a smirk in Artemis' mouth when he turned to him, handing him a pair of gloves. “We're not going to Edinburgh, but further north,” the youngster said as he gestured to his bodyguard to look at the book.
Butler did as he was told and looked. The yellow, frail pages opened over the table showed the drawing of a castle, and the flowery letters formed words in Old English.
“It tells the story of a magic school founded by four powerful wizards,” Artemis said, simply.
Butler stopped himself before saying 'And you believe that?' After all, they'd suffered a siege by gnomes before. His highly intelligent master believing in the existence of a couple of medieval wizards shouldn't be enough to surprise him anymore.
“Quite fascinating, I assure you. But that's not it. Turn the page,” Artemis added.
Butler did so. There was a map there, pointing the exact location this school was supposed to be. At the far north of Scotland. The bodyguard nodded. “We're going there.”It was a statement, not a question.
Artemis walked towards his desk and moved his laptop's screen so Butler could see it. “I've been investigating that spot. All satellites show only the ruins of a medieval castle.”
What's so surprising about that? Butler thought, but he didn't voice it. Instead, he awaited patiently as Artemis produced a thick book in rustic from one of the desk drawers. It looked fairly new.
“This is the newest edition of the book I just showed you. It was printed this year.”
Now, that was surprising. Even by Butler's new standards.
Artemis handed him the book, whose cover said 'Hogwarts, A History'. Butler quickly found the same page he was looking at in the oldest one. It had the same drawing, but everything was written now in modern English.
“The school is still active,” Artemis said. “I want to see it. Just see it,” he repeated, waving his hand. “Think of it as a spontaneous holiday.”
Butler sighed inwardly. Of course, Artemis would be the only person on Earth whose idea of a holiday was to infiltrate in a magic school already knowing first hand how dangerous magic could be. At least, it truly seemed spontaneous.
And he wasn't planning on stealing anything this time around.
Hopefully.
This job will never be boring, he told himself as he left the room to pack.
-
Butler spent his time on the plane reading 'Hogwarts, A History', getting familiarised with the new ground he and Artemis were going to step into.
“Artemis, it says here that the school is protected by spells so only wizards and witches can see it.”
“Yes,” Artemis said. He was reclined in the seat, his eyes closed and his hands on his lap.
“How are we going to get in?”
The corners of Artemis' mouth curved upwards in a way that made Butler shiver. Slightly. “I'll tell you when we get there,” the boy said.
“Very well,” he said as he went back to his reading. He was still curious, but he trusted his young master. He only hoped the weapons he'd prepared were enough to keep them both safe.
-
They've been walking through a forest for about half an hour, after it become obvious the motorised vehicle couldn't take them any further. Artemis hadn't voiced any kind of complain, despite the fact that he hated, as Butler knew far to well, to engage in any physical activity. Butler didn't even thought of offering himself to carry him. That idea wouldn't be welcomed at all; it crashed with Artemis dignity, probably the only thing the boy would be willing to die for.
Artemis was walking ahead, holding a GPS he consulted frequently. He stopped, all of a sudden, a few meters away from a clearing. “Here,” he said as he put the device in his backpack.
“There are no ruins here,” Butler said.
Artemis walked towards the clearing and brushed away the fallen leaves with his foot. “But there's a path.”
Artemis was right, as usual. There was a stone path, apparently as old as the book in Artemis' study. Now Butler knew that it was there, it was easy for him to see it came down from the hill and went down until it was lost from sight.
“According to my sources,” Artemis said, “the students get a few Saturdays free to go to the town down there, today being one of them. My plan, as you're surely imagining right now, is wait here until one of them comes alone and make him take us there. That way we should be able to see the school.”
Butler nodded. It made sense, as usual. Though now the idea of having to intimidate a teenager into going back to school made him feel a little bad, magic or not; he'd much rather have to scam yet another crime lord.
About one hour later, a long thread of boys and girls dressed in black robes walked down the path. Butler didn't bother to be surprised. He just prepared to scare the soul out of the first unfortunate student that he saw coming all by himself.
A good twenty minutes later, their lone appeared. It was a blond boy who seemed to have a scorn stuck on his face. He was looking at the floor as he walked, and he was muttering to himself, so he didn't notice neither Butler nor Artemis until he'd practically on top of them. “Those Crabbe and Goyle, getting detention today. We'll have to talk later. They have yet to see me angry- Hey, who are you?”
“Do you see this?” Butler asked in his most polite tone of voice while pointing at the boy with a gun. “It's the muggle version of a wand. If you don't want me to use it, you better follow us and keep your hands where I can see them.”
The boy stammered. “You-you're muggles!”
“I actually like 'muggle' better than mudman or mudboy,” Artemis said thoughtfully.
“How did you get here? You're not supposed to be here! Dumbledore will hear from my father!”
“Maybe,” Artemis said. He sounded really amused. “But later. Come on, you don't want my friend to use his 'wand'. Then not only Dumbledore won't hear about your father; your father won't hear about you. ”
That's too harsh, Artemis.
But, then again, this was magic they were dealing with.
“I am not going anywhere!” the boy said. “Muggles can't have wands! You don't have magic!” He was obviously more disgusted than scared.
Artemis folded his arms. “Just our luck. We had to meet one of those pure-blood supremacists. Butler, show him.”
Butler shot at one of the trees that surrounded them. The sound of it and the branch that fell on the floor had finally scared the blond boy.
“You see now?” Artemis asked. “We're not some defenceless creatures you can stomp on. Remember that. Now come with us.”
-
“What do you want? Money? Power? Whatever it is, my father can give it to you!” the blond boy stuttered, his hands up, just as he'd been instructed. His wand rested safely in one of Butler's pockets.
Artemis shrugged. “I have all of those things,” he said matter-of-factly. “What I want is you to take me to Hogwarts.”
The boy gaped at Artemis.
“Yes, you heard it right,” Artemis continued. “I want you to take me to Hogwarts. Don't bother telling me about the spells, I know it all. I also know that if I go holding the hand of a wizard who's willing to take me there I'd be able to see the castle.”
“I'm not willing to take you there.”
“Oh, but you will be. If you want to go back in one piece, that is.”
“You wouldn't dare!”
“Try me.”
“Do you know who I am?”
“No. And I don't need to know. Just take me there and you walk free.”
The blond boy was so angry he was panting. If he really was a pure-blood supremacists, and Butler didn't doubt it, being kidnapped by a pair of muggles surely was one of the worst things that had ever happened to him.
Well, he was young still.
“As soon as we get there,” the boy said, “I'll call the professors and tell them all about the two of you.”
“Fair enough.” Artemis reached out his hand. “Shall we go?”
The blond boy took it with his own. It was like if he was being forced to touch the body of a rat dead one month ago.
He's now one minute older, Butler thought, holding up a snicker.
-
“That was quite an experience, don't you think so, old friend?” Artemis said as he sat down on his chair, back at Fowl Manor.
“I thought they were going to make us forget everything,” Butler said.
“Who could say no to a first edition of 'Hogwarts, A History'?”
Butler shuddered at the memory of the librarian and the bushy-haired girl who had stepped forward to talk about the historical value of the precious document. They had done it as vehemently as if they were trying to convince a tyrant of not killing a baby.
“Besides, Dumbledore was smart enough to understand that if I found them once, I can do it again, obliviate or not. Make sure to ship the book to the address they gave us first thing tomorrow Monday.”
“Of course, Artemis. But I still think we should tighten security in case Draco's father shows up demanding satisfaction.”
“Let him come,” Artemis said, his chin now resting on his hands. “I'm ready for him.”
Butler smiled despite of himself.
As certain as the Sun will rise tomorrow, this job will never be boring.