Well, I've started writing comments about five times, only to delete the whole thing, get a cup of coffee, ponder reality, return and try again.
Realizing that that's no good I have vowed to actually write one I'm happy with.
Firstly, I adore the instrumentality in this chapter! Patty asking what's wrong, getting an insufficient answer, and pushing again. I love how he doesn't change his words, doesn't explain himself. He knows Miller understands yet doesn't want to answer. Okay, fine. Patty's had to deal with that earlier and had seen the ramifications of just letting the boy do as he wants. He's not playing that game again, Ryan. Luckily Ryan gets the hint. He's done with asking and is on to demanding now. Of course his actions, I think, already showed that.
Secondly: Patty seeing that the problem is not physical, but mental. Ryan's body is fine. He's capable of playing, its just his mind is not. "No, no, no... stay with me here, not in your head." in other words, stop thinking, Ryan, and just act... you silly boy you! D8<
Thirdly: Goalie!Sex! <3 Not just Goalie!Sex, but emotional goalie!sex! I think this would be the part where Ryan realized his biggest mistake through all of this. That would be his self-reliance. Ryan felt the whole story he could get through it himself (I believe he even said that a few times) and it isn't until the end when he realizes that there was no way. He also kept seeing everyone else as just physical, but Patty showed him that that most certainly wasn't the case. He was always thinking about Ryan in the mental. On the same note, to contrast this to the DiPietro section, Patty was acting selflessly. Rick seemed to have been acting in self-assertion, wanting to help Miller either out of his ow strange sense of amusement or in hope of maybe that Miller would feel obliged to return the favor? Not saying that he's a total jerk or anything like that, just saying that his motivation is a little less noble then Lalime's seems to be. Truth be told it seems as if Patty had more to gain by letting Ryan continue to beat himself up (career wise at least), yet as he said in a previous chapter: "What do I have to do to get your head into the game and away from your problem?"
Anyway, I think I've taken up plenty of space here! Sorry! 8D
Love it so much and can't wait for the next thing from you!!!
Ryan could have physically gotten off several times. He could have slept with some groupie, several times... but he didn't. it wasn't what he needed, and he didn't realize that his frustration wasn't sexual, but sensual. It needed a person there. It needed an outside source to care for him, to be there and not leave him alone. It is this realization that brought Patty and Ryan together.
that, my friend, is the point of this story. I'm so glad you got it.
From here on, if anyone says "Yin and Yang" I will laugh and say "You mean Patty and Craig, right?" They will look at me quizzically and I will walk away laughing.
So glad I could help you out and maybe get some more older men loving in the near future! Too bad I'm still twirling my pen when it comes to my own stories. Hopefully my week vacation in a few weeks with no internet will give me a chance to get some stuff worked out. 8D Such a huge relief when you just have the writing epiphany!
Hmm. Never considered it a joke. Actually have no idea what would be funny about being miserable for a month. I mean, its fun to pick fun of Ryan, but his character was generally miserable in this... We didn't talk about Ryan's characterization at all in this! Oh dear! That's a whole 'nother avenue!
Like, I suppose, I can speculate of how he progresses from chapter one to chapter two. I mean, what possessed him to take a page from Queer as Folk? sure he continues from then on to claim that he wasn't trying to kill himself, but what would possess someone to come that close to death? Sure its supposed to give a better orgasm but was Ryan really thinking he needed a better one at that point instead of just one at all? What also got me was that during chapter six when he states: Ryan snarled sarcastically, "You saved me from this fantastic and rewarding life."
I really did ponder that for a little. Had he been lying to himself for the last 4 chapters and was finally so fed up he almost wishes he had screwed up? I realized it was heat of the moment but I still did stutter over that line haha
that line WAS an important one. and i'm glad you caught it. I corrected it a bunch of times. At first it wasn't as harsh as I wrote it. The point was that he was lonely, but never realized it. He was sad and depressed, but never realized it. That line was a small change where he did let slip that he might not be alright.
The suicide thing was not meant that he himself was suicidal in the way that he wanted to die, or even come close, but he did lose a sense of self protection. He didn't exactly care what happened to him. It was the beginning/middle of bringing him to a dark place. Ryan was given space to make decisions by Patty. It wasn't until the end that he actually took the option and discovered what he really wanted.
Ah! So it was more of a screw up on his part in the heat of the moment then a true statement. That's a bit of a relief actually haha.
Also, this "self-protection" is, maybe possibly, his ego? His whole DIY (hehheh I really do like using that I think) demeanor?
Finally, do you think Patty influenced Ryan's final decision at all or was he just playing on what he saw was there? He obviously knew there was something there (or at least got a sneaking suspicion), but did he push Miller to see the answer or was it Ryan who ultimately figured it out for himself? I have a feeling Patty pushed him to the conclusion rather then let Miller accept his reactions and decide on his own, but that might just be me XD
If miller were left to his own devices, he'd... well he'd try wacky things like take Queer as Folk too seriously.
But seriously, he wouldn't have made the conclusion. the answer would have scared him. If he came to the conclusion, he'd repress it, afraid to face it. Patty gave him the time, space, and support to express it, but also, took away a bit of his safety and escapism. Ryan really had no where to go.
Hmm, I might actually have to take time to digest this all. Your characters are so lovely layered! 8D I think that's just one more reason I love your writing so much.
Ryan had no where to go, but everywhere prior was worse then there, so why not stay, right?
He would have downward spiralled, but Ryan did have hope and a need to get out of that. Patty gave him just enough stability and support that he could express his hurts and desires and work through them. Patty didn't judge Ryan through his breakthrough, instead, he told him that he wouldn't leave and he was there. Ryan just wanted someone to be there.
Yeah, take time to digest. I appreciate writing full, full characters. It's not just a story, its the interactions and intentions of the characters. Thats my writing style... i guess?
Realizing that that's no good I have vowed to actually write one I'm happy with.
Firstly, I adore the instrumentality in this chapter! Patty asking what's wrong, getting an insufficient answer, and pushing again. I love how he doesn't change his words, doesn't explain himself. He knows Miller understands yet doesn't want to answer. Okay, fine. Patty's had to deal with that earlier and had seen the ramifications of just letting the boy do as he wants. He's not playing that game again, Ryan. Luckily Ryan gets the hint. He's done with asking and is on to demanding now. Of course his actions, I think, already showed that.
Secondly: Patty seeing that the problem is not physical, but mental. Ryan's body is fine. He's capable of playing, its just his mind is not. "No, no, no... stay with me here, not in your head." in other words, stop thinking, Ryan, and just act... you silly boy you! D8<
Thirdly: Goalie!Sex! <3 Not just Goalie!Sex, but emotional goalie!sex! I think this would be the part where Ryan realized his biggest mistake through all of this. That would be his self-reliance. Ryan felt the whole story he could get through it himself (I believe he even said that a few times) and it isn't until the end when he realizes that there was no way. He also kept seeing everyone else as just physical, but Patty showed him that that most certainly wasn't the case. He was always thinking about Ryan in the mental. On the same note, to contrast this to the DiPietro section, Patty was acting selflessly. Rick seemed to have been acting in self-assertion, wanting to help Miller either out of his ow strange sense of amusement or in hope of maybe that Miller would feel obliged to return the favor? Not saying that he's a total jerk or anything like that, just saying that his motivation is a little less noble then Lalime's seems to be. Truth be told it seems as if Patty had more to gain by letting Ryan continue to beat himself up (career wise at least), yet as he said in a previous chapter: "What do I have to do to get your head into the game and away from your problem?"
Anyway, I think I've taken up plenty of space here! Sorry! 8D
Love it so much and can't wait for the next thing from you!!!
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Yes. Yes. and Yes.
Ryan could have physically gotten off several times. He could have slept with some groupie, several times... but he didn't. it wasn't what he needed, and he didn't realize that his frustration wasn't sexual, but sensual. It needed a person there. It needed an outside source to care for him, to be there and not leave him alone. It is this realization that brought Patty and Ryan together.
that, my friend, is the point of this story. I'm so glad you got it.
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So glad I could help you out and maybe get some more older men loving in the near future! Too bad I'm still twirling my pen when it comes to my own stories. Hopefully my week vacation in a few weeks with no internet will give me a chance to get some stuff worked out. 8D Such a huge relief when you just have the writing epiphany!
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Like, I suppose, I can speculate of how he progresses from chapter one to chapter two. I mean, what possessed him to take a page from Queer as Folk? sure he continues from then on to claim that he wasn't trying to kill himself, but what would possess someone to come that close to death? Sure its supposed to give a better orgasm but was Ryan really thinking he needed a better one at that point instead of just one at all? What also got me was that during chapter six when he states: Ryan snarled sarcastically, "You saved me from this fantastic and rewarding life."
I really did ponder that for a little. Had he been lying to himself for the last 4 chapters and was finally so fed up he almost wishes he had screwed up? I realized it was heat of the moment but I still did stutter over that line haha
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The suicide thing was not meant that he himself was suicidal in the way that he wanted to die, or even come close, but he did lose a sense of self protection. He didn't exactly care what happened to him. It was the beginning/middle of bringing him to a dark place. Ryan was given space to make decisions by Patty. It wasn't until the end that he actually took the option and discovered what he really wanted.
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Also, this "self-protection" is, maybe possibly, his ego? His whole DIY (hehheh I really do like using that I think) demeanor?
Finally, do you think Patty influenced Ryan's final decision at all or was he just playing on what he saw was there? He obviously knew there was something there (or at least got a sneaking suspicion), but did he push Miller to see the answer or was it Ryan who ultimately figured it out for himself? I have a feeling Patty pushed him to the conclusion rather then let Miller accept his reactions and decide on his own, but that might just be me XD
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But seriously, he wouldn't have made the conclusion. the answer would have scared him. If he came to the conclusion, he'd repress it, afraid to face it. Patty gave him the time, space, and support to express it, but also, took away a bit of his safety and escapism. Ryan really had no where to go.
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Ryan had no where to go, but everywhere prior was worse then there, so why not stay, right?
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Yeah, take time to digest. I appreciate writing full, full characters. It's not just a story, its the interactions and intentions of the characters. Thats my writing style... i guess?
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