Ficlet: Fractures (R) Logan
Title: Fractures
Author: Marylane23
Pairing / Character: Logan
Rating: R (language)
Word Count: 700ish
Summary: Logan wonders what makes a killer.
Spoilers / Warnings: Through the season II finale. Believe me, you won’t be in doubt of whodunit if you read this fic.
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, which makes it really rude of them to dance around in my creativity all the damn time.
Author’s Note: Wrote this because I haven’t written anything in a fricking age and had to rectify that now that finals are over. This fic is in a very different style than anything else I’ve ever written, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. Flame away if you wish. :)
He so very much doesn’t want to give Beav [ no-Cassidy-not-Beaver] a second thought in those early morning hours in her apartment. But he gives him a tenth, and an eleventh, and exponentially more as he tosses and turns on Keith’s [ dead-Keith-Beav-killed-him] couch.
Little Cassidy, mass murderer. [ worse-than-Aaron-even]
He doesn’t know how he managed to sleep [ how-she’s-sleeping], but the first traces of sunlight are filtering in through the blinds and he [ needs-a-stiff-drink] finds he has to rise and start breakfast because his mind refuses to shut down again. This morning is a new [ better?] world.
It was last night that Cassidy [ killed-himself-killed-them-all] died.
Beav [ child-killer-CHILD]. Logan [ felt-sorry-for-him-then-maybe-still-does] remembers teaching the kid [ just-a-kid-god-can-this-really-happen-even-here] how to parallel park when Mr. C. couldn’t be bothered to do it and Dick rolled up in the Lexus too high to get through the lesson, despite his volunteering. [ oh-god-Dick-has-he-even-heard?]
Silent Cassidy. [ killed-all-those-people-could-have-been-any-of-us-god-Meg- did-they-did-I-just-miss-the-signs?]
He wonders [ not-even-I-ever-would] what it takes to make a monster [ murderer].
Veronica [ Beav-raped-her-Son-of-a-bitch-Motherfucker...] doesn’t have it, whatever it is, even after all she’s been dealt. [ dead-Keith-who-the-fuck-teaches-a-kid-to-make-bombs]
Weevil, for all this posturing and violence [ it-was-for-justice-if-it-had-been-Duncan-I-would-have] still never went that far. No, he let the real murderers [ like-Aaron-lying-bastard-free-man] sort it out amongst themselves. [ Fuck-Thumper-he-made-his-bed-can-rot-in-it]
So what [ nature-nurture] did it then? Turned Beav [ Cassidy-I-taught-him-how-to-do-kegstands-too-my-mom-liked-him] into that quaking mess who [ raped-her-killed-them] leapt off a hotel rather than face charges [ how-many?] for what he’d done.
Discovering what his father [ murderer] had done had been had barely constituted a surprise [ should-have-known-that-sick-fuck], more like someone highlighting a sentence he’d already read a hundred times before.
[ why-not-me-I-wouldn’t-have]
But this was Beav. He finds himself unable [ not-possible-it’s-that-psycho-shit-Woody’s-fault] to reconcile himself to the idea the same kid he knew [ covered-for-my-ass-helped-me] could have been a monster [ murderer] all along.
Why him? [ not-me]
Abuse? Neglect? Abandonment?
[ check-check-check]
But he only burned the pool. [ not-sorry-not-really] Cassidy burned the swimmers. [ was-he-sorry?]
Logan [ not-sorry] looked the world [ FUCK-YOU] in the eye and offered his [honesty] well-earned lack of sympathy to their lost expectations, Cassidy looked their families and friends in the eye [ was-he-sorry?] and offered his [ faked-all-faked] condolences for their lost everything. [ dead-he-killed-them-all]
He peers into her room in the pre-dawn haze, sees her [ not-sleeping-broken] sprawled just as he left her after she finally collapsed, physically and emotionally [ she’s-lost-them-both-now-Keith-was-worth-keeping] exhausted.
He [ loves-her] wonders if she’s what made the difference. If having people like Veronica, like Duncan, even like Lilly [ all-broken-too] kept him afloat while Beaver [ Cassidy-that’s-what-the-headstone-will-say] was lost. Without them would he have fallen?
[ I’m-not-that-not-my-father-hate-my-father-I-stopped-her-from-shooting-would-she-have-shot-would-I-have-shot?]
There’s no answer, he knows. But he can’t stop his mind from debating it, he doubts [ this-town-kills-everything] that it ever really will.
It doesn’t take long before he knows he’s seconds from crawling out of his own skin [ need-to-go-have-to-want-to-stay] and he can’t take [ wake-up-Ronnie-you’re-better-at-this-than-me] the stillness anymore. There are no answers, only silence and whispers of remorse, and he can’t [won’t] sit through that anymore.
So he flips on the news and then [ DAD] he’s an orphan.
[ is-it-over?]
Author: Marylane23
Pairing / Character: Logan
Rating: R (language)
Word Count: 700ish
Summary: Logan wonders what makes a killer.
Spoilers / Warnings: Through the season II finale. Believe me, you won’t be in doubt of whodunit if you read this fic.
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, which makes it really rude of them to dance around in my creativity all the damn time.
Author’s Note: Wrote this because I haven’t written anything in a fricking age and had to rectify that now that finals are over. This fic is in a very different style than anything else I’ve ever written, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. Flame away if you wish. :)
He so very much doesn’t want to give Beav [ no-Cassidy-not-Beaver] a second thought in those early morning hours in her apartment. But he gives him a tenth, and an eleventh, and exponentially more as he tosses and turns on Keith’s [ dead-Keith-Beav-killed-him] couch.
Little Cassidy, mass murderer. [ worse-than-Aaron-even]
He doesn’t know how he managed to sleep [ how-she’s-sleeping], but the first traces of sunlight are filtering in through the blinds and he [ needs-a-stiff-drink] finds he has to rise and start breakfast because his mind refuses to shut down again. This morning is a new [ better?] world.
It was last night that Cassidy [ killed-himself-killed-them-all] died.
Beav [ child-killer-CHILD]. Logan [ felt-sorry-for-him-then-maybe-still-does] remembers teaching the kid [ just-a-kid-god-can-this-really-happen-even-here] how to parallel park when Mr. C. couldn’t be bothered to do it and Dick rolled up in the Lexus too high to get through the lesson, despite his volunteering. [ oh-god-Dick-has-he-even-heard?]
Silent Cassidy. [ killed-all-those-people-could-have-been-any-of-us-god-Meg- did-they-did-I-just-miss-the-signs?]
He wonders [ not-even-I-ever-would] what it takes to make a monster [ murderer].
Veronica [ Beav-raped-her-Son-of-a-bitch-Motherfucker...] doesn’t have it, whatever it is, even after all she’s been dealt. [ dead-Keith-who-the-fuck-teaches-a-kid-to-make-bombs]
Weevil, for all this posturing and violence [ it-was-for-justice-if-it-had-been-Duncan-I-would-have] still never went that far. No, he let the real murderers [ like-Aaron-lying-bastard-free-man] sort it out amongst themselves. [ Fuck-Thumper-he-made-his-bed-can-rot-in-it]
So what [ nature-nurture] did it then? Turned Beav [ Cassidy-I-taught-him-how-to-do-kegstands-too-my-mom-liked-him] into that quaking mess who [ raped-her-killed-them] leapt off a hotel rather than face charges [ how-many?] for what he’d done.
Discovering what his father [ murderer] had done had been had barely constituted a surprise [ should-have-known-that-sick-fuck], more like someone highlighting a sentence he’d already read a hundred times before.
[ why-not-me-I-wouldn’t-have]
But this was Beav. He finds himself unable [ not-possible-it’s-that-psycho-shit-Woody’s-fault] to reconcile himself to the idea the same kid he knew [ covered-for-my-ass-helped-me] could have been a monster [ murderer] all along.
Why him? [ not-me]
Abuse? Neglect? Abandonment?
[ check-check-check]
But he only burned the pool. [ not-sorry-not-really] Cassidy burned the swimmers. [ was-he-sorry?]
Logan [ not-sorry] looked the world [ FUCK-YOU] in the eye and offered his [honesty] well-earned lack of sympathy to their lost expectations, Cassidy looked their families and friends in the eye [ was-he-sorry?] and offered his [ faked-all-faked] condolences for their lost everything. [ dead-he-killed-them-all]
He peers into her room in the pre-dawn haze, sees her [ not-sleeping-broken] sprawled just as he left her after she finally collapsed, physically and emotionally [ she’s-lost-them-both-now-Keith-was-worth-keeping] exhausted.
He [ loves-her] wonders if she’s what made the difference. If having people like Veronica, like Duncan, even like Lilly [ all-broken-too] kept him afloat while Beaver [ Cassidy-that’s-what-the-headstone-will-say] was lost. Without them would he have fallen?
[ I’m-not-that-not-my-father-hate-my-father-I-stopped-her-from-shooting-would-she-have-shot-would-I-have-shot?]
There’s no answer, he knows. But he can’t stop his mind from debating it, he doubts [ this-town-kills-everything] that it ever really will.
It doesn’t take long before he knows he’s seconds from crawling out of his own skin [ need-to-go-have-to-want-to-stay] and he can’t take [ wake-up-Ronnie-you’re-better-at-this-than-me] the stillness anymore. There are no answers, only silence and whispers of remorse, and he can’t [won’t] sit through that anymore.
So he flips on the news and then [ DAD] he’s an orphan.
[ is-it-over?]