It's just a phone call
PREVIOUS
His head throbs painfully and his whole body’s aching in a numb, stabbing sort of way. When he manages to blink his eyes open, he finds himself staring at a cement wall. I’m never drinking again, he swears silently to himself, sure that he’s hallucinating and has simply fallen asleep on the floor of his house or something.
Then he tries to take a step forward and pain shoots through his shoulders, his body swaying backwards and forwards, with his toes barely scraping the ground. “Crap…” he murmurs, peering up at the metal chains stringing him to the ceiling. “This shit’s not fucking real.”
Lifting up onto his tiptoes, he jerks the cuffs down sharply, only to regret it instantly when this doubles his pain and proves pointless.
Still certain he’s dreaming or drunk off his ass, Jared begins chuckling, already looking forward to telling Jensen about it. Jensen… Jared remembers that he’s not allowed to call his friend this weekend ‘cause Danneel’s in town. Then he remembers that he broke the rule and called him yesterday. Why did I call him yesterday? He scowls at the wall, hoping for answers.
There was… realization comes to him and he’s suddenly not so sure he’s dreaming. There was somebody following me.
His breathing begins to quicken as his eyes dart around the room, desperately searching for some way out of this mess. Rusty pipes and grey walls, honestly, couldn’t they have come up with someplace more original? he muses silently in an attempt to keep calm as his eyes eventually fall upon a solid metal door.
He lists the facts in his head; it’s just something he’s always done, even as a kid.
One, he’s chained to the ceiling
Two, he’s in a basement
Three, the perpetrator (and, yes, he does watch CSI, thank you very much) has been following him for about a week, so it’s not a random capture
Four, there’s more than one
Five, he was hit over the head and can feel matted blood in his hair
Six, he left Jensen a message so there’s the possibility of him charging in as the knight in shining armour. Yeah, Jared can so picture him in tights
Seven, he’s feeling kind of doped up and vaguely he can remember being pricked in the arm. It’s likely that he’s been drugged
Eight, he would die for some water right now
Nine, he’s only wearing his running shorts, which are really short thanks to Sandy, who picked them because she said she liked how his legs looked in them. And they’re comfy, so he kept them even after their break-up
Ten, he’s really scared fucking shitless and really wishes someone like Jensen or Chad were here to tell him he’s an idiot, but because there isn’t, he’s going to try suck it up and be a man.
That’s about where he’s at when he hears the thudding from behind the door and keys scraping. He momentarily forgets to breathe, his eyes glued on the turning doorknob.
*
“Jen… baby…” It’s Danneel again.
Jensen’s clenches his teeth together. He really does not want to see her right now. “What?”
“Don’t you think you should eat something?” she offers him a packet that looks very much like a burger.
He laughs hoarsely and without humor, “Danneel, please just leave me alone.”
All day, he’s been talking. Talking to detectives, search and rescue teams, people from the Mounted Branch and Dog Section, even someone from the Air Support Unit, and frankly, he’s sick of it. He’s had to sit back while the police contacted hospitals, prisons, airports, train stations, and a million other places to put them on the lookout for Jared. He feels so fucking useless.
Jensen has a photograph of his friend clenched in his hand. He keeps staring at it, at the innocence, the youth, the goddamn goofiness. His thumb traces over the smile and a wave of warmth hits him.
“Jensen… I really think you should eat something.”
He’d forgotten that she was here. Glancing up, he meets her eyes, “Danneel. I know you’re trying to help and I appreciate that. I really do. But… can you… can you please just leave me alone. He’s my best friend, Dan. My best friend and he’s gone. Okay, so please just leave me the fuck alone.”
She stares at me for a few moments before turning around and heading out the door without another word, taking the burger with her.
Letting out a sigh, Jensen picks up a pen and begins filling in the forms left by the detective.
*
The door grates on the ground as it swings open. A man steps inside, his face uncovered. Knowing exactly what this means about the plans for him, Jared bites his lip to control his fear and focuses on memorizing the details. The man is by no means ugly, yet his face is all sharp edges, cold and unnerving with sleek black hair to match. Piercing blue eyes remain fixed on Jared as the man approaches.
“What the fuck do you want from me?” He pulls his body as far away from the man as his bounds will allow, glaring furiously.
The man stops. Grins.
“Feisty. Mmmm, I like.”
A cold fist clenches in Jared’s chest as the man’s eyes slide languidly downwards, lingering on Jared’s bare chest and legs before returning.
More footsteps sound from behind the door and a few seconds later it opens to reveal another man, a bit shorter than the other, with a scar across his cheek. “He’s perfect, don’t you think?” he asks.
The man doesn’t reply, but begins to walk around Jared, surveying him like he’s on sale. Jared tries to kick out at him, but he just chuckles lowly and keeps just out of reach.
The shorter man continues, “Excellent physical condition, perfect body, extremely good looking. What more could you need?”
Jared does a double take, staring at the men, “What the fuck?”
They ignore him.
“You chose well,” the taller man says. “He’ll be worth the trouble you took to get him.”
“How long do we have to get him ready?”
“Seven days. Make them count.” The man leaves the room.
*
Chad arrives with a squeal of tires and the slamming of his door, immediately followed by him storming up to Jensen. “What the hell happened to him?”
Jensen swallows to try ease his parched throat and begins to fill him in, voice wavering slightly when he tells about the missed phone call.
By the time he’s finished, he can barely bring himself to look up, but when he does, he’s met only with a pale face and fearful eyes. “So…” Chad begins quietly, “they… they’ve had him for… over twenty-four hours?”
Jensen drops his eyes to the floor and nods.
“What’re the cops saying?”
“Well, they’ve got search parties out and they’re searching all possible locations, but right now they’ve got nothing.”
“What?” Chad looks murderous.
“There hasn’t been a ransom call or any word from the kidnappers. Right now, we have no idea who they are, where they are or even what the hell they want.”
“Besides Jay…” Chad murmurs, turning to stare out the window. “He called me on Friday, you know… wanted to know whether I was up for a night out? But… obviously I was filming, so I couldn’t….” Chad glances back at Jensen, “You say he was jumpy the whole week?”
“Yeah, whenever someone brushed against him, he seemed to tense up, but… I just thought it was the stress. I mean, we’ve all been really busy and I just…” his breath catches and he turns away to hide the moisture in his eyes, “I didn’t notice that my best friend was scared fucking shitless. And now… and now he’s gone….”
A firm hand squeezes his shoulder, “Jensen, none of this is your fault.”
He shrugs away from the hands, “Chad! He called me! He called me as it was happening, while they were there! I could have stopped them from taking him! I could have called the cops and those bastards would’ve been caught. But, I was too fucking busy for my best friend!” It doesn’t matter how many times he says it, it still hurts just as much.
There’re tears streaming down his cheeks as he spins around, shoulders shaking, to face the wall. In one furious movement, he slams his fist into the solid brick and allows the physical pain to take over.
“Shit,” Chad mutters, moving forward to catch Jensen as he sinks to the floor. “You’re a fucking moron, you know that?”
Jensen just blinks at him and then down at his bleeding hand. His hand agrees with Chad.
After quickly checking Jensen’s knuckles for breaks (and finding none), Chad tucks the hand against Jensen’s chest and sits down opposite him on the floor. His voice is quiet, so different from the usual drunk-off-his-ass-and-laughing Chad that Jensen’s accustomed to, “Jensen. Jared loves you.”
Jensen flinches. But Chad continues, “I’m not saying it so you can feel guilty, I’m saying it because it’s true. Do you think he’d ever blame you for this?”
Slowly, Jensen shakes his head.
“There you go, now do you think you could cut your emo crap? Just until we manage to get our boy back?”
Yup, that’s the old Chad back. Jensen smiles despite himself and allows Chad to hoist him up.
“I swear, you’re like one of those teen goth dudes, ‘oooh, everything’s my fault… let me go slit my wrists, nnhnhnhna’. Can’t see why Jay hangs out with you.”
Jensen suddenly regrets all those times he bitched about Chad to Jared, as he can now see just why Jared loves Chad. It’s strange, seeing as though Chad and him are strictly friends-through-Jared and not by choice, but he sees kinship in Chad. Here’s somebody else who loves the kid as much as he does, somebody else who’d rather die than have Jared hurt.
Jensen chuckles softly before murmuring, “Thanks, Chad.”
Chad shrugs awkwardly, “Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m awesome.”
*
They’ve tied a cloth over his eyes, gagged him and moved him into a car of some sort, one with a sliding door. Jared has no idea where he’s going, water is pretty much the only thing on his mind, and he knows he’s really dehydrated.
When they removed the chains from his wrists, he had planned to launch his attack, knock them out and escape, but that had never happened. He couldn’t get his limbs to obey him, simply crumpling to the ground in a great pile of numbness while they blindfolded him and tied his hands behind his back. He’s never felt more useless.
It’s after they’ve been driving for about five minutes as far as he can tell, that the flexing of his muscles begins to have some result. Then it’s agony of all agonies, tiny knives stabbing into him and shooting through his veins, making him groan behind the gag.
It’s like pins and needles have been replaced with knives and daggers. Burning, red-hot knives and daggers.
It could be worse, he reassures himself bravely. They could have taken Jensen instead. Just that thought makes him feel damn lucky that it is him who’s been taken. He shudders at the thought of these men having Jensen. He’d rather die.
*
They’ve removed his gag, but the blindfold is still tightly in place. Jared can hear soft feet padding behind him, letting him know he’s not alone. He twists his head towards it and yells, “What the hell do you want from me?”
There’s quiet laughter that seems to echo around him and then cold hands begin sliding over his chest. He flinches, desperately trying to pull away. There’s a sharp snap and pain erupts from across his shoulders, making him cry out in surprise. Warmth begins trickling down his back and the fingers run through it, smearing his blood around.
“So pretty…”
He twists angrily, trying to pull free from the binds, “Don’t touch me,” he hisses, spitting in the direction he thinks the man is.
Another snap results in pain erupting from his cheek and blood trickling down to curve along his lips. Something warm follows the line of his mouth and in disgust, he realizes it’s someone’s tongue lapping at the blood.
“Get the fuck away from me, you freak!” Jared jerks his head away, but a hand fists painfully in his hair and holds him in place as the man forces his tongue into Jared mouth. Obviously, Jared bites down as hard as he can, making the man jerk away with a curse.
“Oh, you’ll pay for that, you little bitch!” the man hisses, quickly followed by a series of slashes to his back, chest and sides. Jared clenches his jaw to keep from yelling out again. He doesn’t want to give the man the satisfaction.
“Let’s try that again, shall we?” The man growls, fingers gripping at Jared’s face painfully and forcing his lips apart. Before the man’s lips come in contact, the man hisses in Jared’s ear, “If you bite me again, I’ll show you real pain.”
Jared doesn’t care what they do to him; he’s not going to give in. When the man’s foul tongue is pressed into his mouth, he bites down again, this time tasting the man’s blood and feeling satisfaction at the sharp cry. He spits the blood out in the man’s direction, “I said, get the fuck away from me.”
The man snarls from the side, “You’re going to regret that.”
Something solid and cold, probably metal, smashes into Jared’s side, making him cry out despite himself. Winded and gasping, Jared doesn’t have time to recover before another blow lands on his shoulder, jerking it against the metal chains. Then the weapon’s back to the whip, lashing out over his back, flaying his skin until the pain merges into one and he’s not sure where it hurts any longer.
“Is that… all you got?” he manages to get out through gritted teeth.
“Oh, baby, we’ve barely even started.”
*
Jensen stands silently beside Chad as they watch as the Padalecki’s get out of their rental car and make their way towards them. Megan takes one look at Jensen and runs up to him, throwing her arms around him and burying her tear-streaked face in his shoulder. Hoisting her up, he squeezes her tightly, burying his nose in her silky hair and breathing in a scent so similar to her brother.
Shannon hugs Chad and squeezes Jensen’s arm, while Jerry just nods at them, “Hey, boys.”
“Jensen, what happened?”
Not wanting to talk, Jensen just nods them towards a waiting detective. Chad goes with them, but Meg refuses to be let out of his arms.
Once the others have gone, Jensen wanders around the side, sitting down heavily on the ground with his back to the wall. Meg just keeps hugging him tightly. “Where is he, Jen?”
He peers down at her, feeling his chest ache as he takes in the likenesses between her and his best friend, “I don’t know, Meg.”
‘But… but we’ll get him back, right?”
Staring into nothingness, feeling his eyes welling up slightly, he murmurs softly, “I don’t know, Meg… I don’t know…”
With a soft sob, she buries her face in his shoulder and as he holds her tightly, it’s all he can do to keep from crying himself.
*
Screaming. That’s the only thing he can hear. He doesn’t even realize that it’s his voice until a foul smelling rag is shoved past his lips and tied firmly in place.
Then the screams are only in his head.
He just wants it all to be over. He wants the fire eating at him to cease. He doesn’t want to feel anymore. He doesn't know how long it's been. Days, weeks... it could even be months.
The jolts shoot through him, pausing only when the man asks him whether he’s had enough yet. Each time, he forces himself to be strong and grits out, “Fuck you.’
Pain is all he can remember, his bones aching and skin burning. He doesn’t know how much longer he can take it.
Then the electrocution stops and he’s left sobbing and gasping into the gag. He hangs limply, his shoulder’s twisted towards the ceiling and his toes clenching where they graze over the cement floor.
The chains suddenly give way and he crashes to the ground, crying out as his knees are forced to take his weight. Rough hands yank him to his feet and he’s dragged to the side, where he’s shoved forwards, doused in icy water. Letting out a sob of relief, he begins drinking through the gag, the water stinging his parched lips and trickling down his chin. When he’s gulped down enough, he tries to pull away, but the hand holds him down. He begins struggling, his lungs screaming for oxygen.
Unable to stop himself, he sucks in reflexively, water seeping down into his windpipe and making him choke and splutter, but that only causes more water to enter. Panicking, he desperately tries to hit out at the man, but he feels so dizzy. Just as he feels his consciousness beginning to slip away, he’s yanked back.
“You ready to be a good, little boy?”
He doesn’t answer, too busy coughing and gulping air. Before he knows it, he’s back in the water. Before he knows it, the screams are back.
*
A few days later
“So, how’s it going?”
Jared doesn’t even twitch; he knows better than to reply.
“I thought so.” The man comes closer, his hands sliding along Jared’s chest, pressing down on the cuts and bruises. Jared barely flinches.
“Now, are you going to behave today?”
With what little strength he has, Jared shakes his head minutely. The man backhands him, “Stupid boy! Do you want to die?”
Jared doesn’t reply and gets a punch to his already aching jaw in return. The man lets out an angry sigh. “Okay, fine. You want it like that, you’re sure as hell gonna get it. We’ve been easy on you so far, no more fun and games.”
Letting out a hoarse chuckle, Jared spits out a mouthful of blood, “Fuck you.”
There’s soft laughter, followed by hands yanking at his shorts. He goes cold when he realizes what’s about to happen. “No,” he cries out, trying to struggle again.
The man laughs cruelly, “Too late for that now.”
The sound of the man unbuckling his belt has Jared’s skin crawling and his body twisting desperately away. Rough hands grip at his bruised sides and he feels something hot and hard pressing against his lower back. He lets out a soft cry and begs softly, “Please, no… no… no…”
“Bet no one’s ever take you like this, huh?” the man growls into his ear, hands roaming Jared’s body, “Bet no one’s ever fucked you so deep you taste them in your mouth.”
“Please… no…” Jared pleads desperately.
“Such a pretty ass too, can’t wait to shove my dick in there. It’ll be so tight and hot.” The man bites hard over a cut on Jared’s shoulder, making it bleed again. “I’m gonna fuck you so hard, you’ll be begging me to stop. I’m gonna tear you apart and bury myself inside of you. Make you take me even when you can’t take me no longer. Would you like that?”
“No… please, no…”
“I knew I’d have you begging eventually, just should’ve guessed pain wouldn’t do it.”
The man’s fingers run down to squeeze at Jared’s ass and his index finger is shoved roughly into Jared’s entrance, making him cry out in pain.
“I was right,” the man bites Jared’s neck, “hot and tight, just how I like them.”
Then the finger is gone and something much thicker is being shoved inside. Crying behind the blindfold, Jared desperately tries to pull away from the pain, but the rough hands grip at his sides and yank him backwards, impaling him. Something tears inside of him, the pain so intense he nearly blacks out. The man grunts as he pulls out, thrusting powerfully back in. Jared feels like his insides are on fire. He’s being torn apart and the man’s just forcing his legs wider and plunging in deeper.
“So… fucking… tight…” the man pants, jerking Jared back harder, shoving faster, each thrust yanking downwards on his bound wrists. The pressure on his already dislocated shoulders makes him cry out even more, but it’s mainly tears of shame that soak the dirty cloth.
The man’s hands roam Jared’s chest, pinching and rubbing over his muscles, then they slide down to Jared’s limp cock, tugging at it painfully. A cry escapes Jared’s lips and that’s all it takes for the man to drive in erratically, coming with a painful bite to Jared’s collar.
When he pulls out carelessly, Jared feels the disgusting liquid dripping from his torn hole, no doubt mingling with his blood. Sobbing in humiliation, Jared hangs limply from the ceiling.
There’s laughter from the heavily breathing man.
“And so, it seems even the greatest of fighters can be broken.”
Jared couldn’t stop the tears if he tried.
*
The lips press against his, demanding entrance. He doesn’t raise his head; he doesn’t attempt to pull away; he doesn’t even flinch when the tongue thrusts deeply into him mouth. He doesn’t care anymore.
Unsurprisingly, the whipping hasn’t eased up, nor have the electrocutions or the dunkings. All that’s changed is that he now gets raped at his captivators’ whim. He knows it’s not just one man, he knows by the variations in length and thickness, he feels ill just at the fact that he knows the difference.
His skin crawls in disgust whenever they touch him, but he knows if he struggles it won’t make any difference. Dried blood coats his body, fresh blood simply adding new layers. His legs are streaked; his wrists are bloody and raw; his back is a crosshatched mess of cuts. He doesn’t care anymore.
“It’s time.”
They cut him down from the ceiling, making him crash down and bash his chin on the concrete. Then he’s dragged, knees grating and banging, up some stairs to be doused in water. A harsh spray is turned on him, making him cry out as they open his cuts again. But at least the foul stench is scraped away.
Then he’s roughly dried and soft boxers are pulled up his shaking legs. His blindfold is changed and his wrists are bound before him. He’s sent stumbling after the men as they yank the rope. They lead him outside to where he’s shoved inside a car of some sort.
Jared’s body is screaming in pain, his throat is parched and raw, and he has no idea where he is or where he’s being taken.
He’s beyond humiliation. He doesn’t care any longer. He just wants to be held by hands that don’t hurt him. He longs for a single gentle touch. He wishes Jensen was here; Jensen never hurt him; Jensen’s touch was always gentle; Jensen wouldn’t let anyone hurt him. More tears fall into the blindfold at what he’s been reduced to, at what these men have made him into. He just wants to feel safe again.
When the car pulls to a halt, he is dragged out. The men, completely oblivious to his knees scraping over the ground, continue to yank him until he eventually manages to get his feet beneath him.
He’s taken to a room filled with quiet whispering and the sounds of chairs shifting about. The floor is stone cold beneath his feet and the air is dusty. Someone yanks his blindfold off and his eyes squeeze shut against the light. When he finally manages to squint, it reveals a small room, occupied by about seven other men, all seated in a semi-circle around where Jared is being held.
One of the men gripping his rope calls out to the group, “Who wants this?”
The men shift around, their eyes roaming Jared’s shivering body languidly. “Ten thousand,” yells someone from the back.
“Is he obedient?” asks another, shifting forward in his seat.
“He knows to fear pain, so yes, he is obedient,” replies his captivator.
“Twenty thousand.”
Slowly the price is raised, until one man stands up and bids, “Forty thousand.”
The other men fall silent, until one other guy smacks his hand on his thigh, “Fifty.”
Throughout it all, Jared gapes at the sick bastards before him, feeling bile rising in his through. He squints at the men, trying to force his eyes to focus so he can make out who his ‘bidders’ are.
“Sixty thousand.” Jared’s eyes snap over to the side where a blonde man steps out of the shadows and Jared’s sure he’s hallucinating. He’s sure… so sure. Because if he’s not… if he’s not hallucinating, then that’s Chris, Chris standing the midst of all these other men.
“Sixty five thousand.” Jared’s eyes snap towards a large dark-haired man whose eyes glitter as they roam his body. Shivering, Jared turns back to where Chris is standing. He doesn’t care how ill it makes him feel to see Chris here, he just needs to see a familiar face.
Chris grimaces, but calls out, “Seventy.”
“Eighty,” the dark-haired man offers, his eyes dangerous.
“Eighty five,” Chris spits.
The man falls silent and the man holding Jared’s rope calls out, “Eighty five, going once. Going twice. Going-”
“Ninety,” growls the dark-haired man.
Jared glances back at Chris desperately.
“A hundred.”
The dark-haired man looks murderous, but he just slouches down in his chair.
“Sold to Cowboy for a hundred thousand.”
Jared is tugged to the side, where they wait for Chris to make his way over. The blonde sends a glance in Jared’s direction, his eyes shadowed and without recognition. Jared immediately drops his gaze to the floor, shame tingeing his cheeks.
“You got a good deal here, Cowboy. This is yer first buy, eh? It’s a mighty fine one. Took a while to break him, I’ll tell ya,” one of the captivators states proudly.
“I’m sure he did,” Chris murmurs. Jared looks up in time to see Chris handing the man a bag, “Evening, gentlemen.”
Chris takes the rope from their hands and pulls Jared after him, not stopping until they reach his truck. “Get in,” Chris whispers, opening the door and helping Jared inside, all the while peering around.
He guns the car into motion and they peel away from the building in a cloud of dust. The man doesn’t stop until he’s changed directions several times and has driven them miles away from the building. Then he pulls over at a deserted stretch, hidden by a line of trees.
He turns to Jared, his eyes worried, “Jesus Christ, Jared! What the hell were you doing in there?”
Jared’s just too tired; he doesn’t even care enough to find out why Chris was there. He shakes his head, eyes slipping shut as his parched lips part enough to murmur, “Jen…Jensen… please…”
“Okay, okay, I’ll call him now, he’ll meet us at the hospital.”
*
When he sees Chris’ name flashing on the screen, he nearly doesn’t pick up the phone. Then he remembers what happened the last time he did that.
“Yeah?” his voice is scratchy from lack of sleep and lack of everything else.
“Jen, I’ve got your boy.”
“What?” Jensen gasps, quickly getting to his feet, “What? Where?”
“He was up for auction at one of the main human trafficking centers in the province. Meet me at the Santa Maria hospital, okay?”
Chris hangs up, leaving Jensen shaking as he stumbles towards Steve, “Santa… Maria, now… “
*
Chris’ hands are gentle as they help him out the car, but even still, simply breathing is painful. They get him on a gurney, medics surrounding him and shooting questions at the blonde, who answers them as smoothly as he can.
Then he’s suddenly staring up at the sterile ceiling, listening to the sounds of beeping and rushing feet.
He wishes Jensen were here.
Jensen would make the pain go away.
*
“Where is he?”
Chris raises his head from his hands and gets to his feet, “They’re examining him now, the doctors haven’t told me anything.”
“He’s… he’s alright, though?”
Chris laughs hoarsely, “I don’t know what the hell you mean by ‘alright’. Those bastards really did a number on him. I barely recognized him.’
Jensen squeezes his eyes shut tightly, “But he’s alive?”
“Yeah. He’s a tough kid.” Chris glances up, “How the hell’d they get hold of him?”
That’s when the officers arrive, closely followed by Chad and the Padalecki family. Jensen nods Chris towards them and wanders down the corridor to try find out what’s happening.
*
When he wakes up, it’s to the sounds of someone screaming. Hand press him down, merely making him struggle harder to get free, a hand clamps over his mouth and the screaming cuts off.
His eyes hurt when he opens them, but through his eyelashes he can make out the strange faces surrounding him. Unable to stop himself, he begins shaking, tremors of fear racing through him, “No… please… no….” he begs softly, trying to curl away from them and flinching when they keep touching him.
“No more… no more…” he whispers through chapped lips, “please…”
Something stabs his arm and he sinks into darkness.
*
“When’s he gonna wake up?” Meg asks, coming to sit on Jensen’s knee. Her hazel eyes fall on her bruised brother and well up with moisture yet again.
Jensen pulls her against his chest in a hug, “I don’t know, Meg… Soon, I hope.”
Meg slides closer to the motionless form on the bed, stroking her tiny fingers over Jared’s bruised cheeks, “I want him back…”
“Me too,” he whispers hoarsely in response, his eyes glued on his friend.
*
Someone’s holding him down. He’s trying to struggle, trying to push them away, trying to wake up, but he can’t, his body’s not obeying him. All he can manage is to shake his head, desperately trying to pull away from the hands that want to… want to hurt him… want to break him…
“Please…” he sobs, “don’t…please, … Just kill me… kill me… please… Let it be over…” it’s a plea he’s repeated many times over the past few days.
He hears someone crying, someone calling his name, but he flinches away from the hand that touches his cheek. “Kill me…” he murmurs.
“Jare…” A distant voice calls his name, it sounds familiar. So familiar….
An ache fills his chest as he turns his head away from the voice, “Kill me…”
Someone’s warm hands cover his, hands that are gentle… different. The fingers tighten and a warmth presses lightly on his chest, the hands slipping up to cling at his shoulders. The person’s shaking, shaking badly.
“Jare… please, wake up…. Jay… I need you to wake up…”
He turns towards the voice, a familiar scent surrounding him. He recognizes it; his fingers curl up slightly, brushing over soft skin, feeling tears. “Jense…” he whispers hoarsely. “Jen…”
The hands slide over his chest and up his neck to stroke at his cheeks, “Jared… God, Jay… please… come back… come back…”
Jensen…. It’s Jensen. The words don’t seem to make sense. How can Jensen be here? Jensen should never have to be in a place like this. Jensen should never know the hell that Jared’s been introduced to. Jensen is pure, clean and untouched.
“Don’t leave me. Jay… please…”
Doesn’t Jensen get what he’s asking from him? To stay would mean more pain, more…
*
He just wants it to be over. He doesn’t want to feel anymore. He doesn’t want to hurt anymore.
“Please, Jen…” he begs quietly. “Want it… want it to be over...”
“Shhh,” a hand brushes through his hair, fingers lingering, “I know, Jay… I know… but… but you can’t… you can’t leave. You can’t leave me….” Jensen’s breath hitches, “I need you, Jay… I need you…”
*
He tries to pull back from the darkness; he tries not to be swallowed by the endless exhaustion that’s threatening to drown him. But it’s only when he feels the press of soft lips on his forehead that he lets out a soft sigh; “Jen…” his eyes flutter open and he blinks at the painfully bright light.
“Wha… where?” he looks around, searching for the grey, concrete walls and rusty piping, and seeing only surgically clean walls.
His eyes fall on Jensen, who’s sitting on the edge of his bed, leaning close to him. “Jen…?” he whispers hoarsely, wondering how he got here.
Jensen looks so tired, his eyes red, puffy and lined with dark shadows, but even still, Jared’s never seen a better sight. “Jensen…” he murmurs again.
The older man surges forwards, arms sliding around Jared and pulling him against a firm chest. The embrace is so painful that Jared has to gasp in order to breathe, but he doesn’t pull away. “Yeah…” Jensen croaks, pressing his face into his shoulder, “’m here…”
“How…?” Jared asks when Jensen finally releases him and lays him back down. He frowns as he tries to piece together his memory. “Chris?”
“Yeah, he…” Jensen chokes on a humorless laugh, “he bought you for a hundred thousand dollars, courtesy of the government.”
Unable to comprehend this, Jared just stares up at his friend.
“You’re safe, Jay. They can’t hurt you anymore….” Jensen strokes Jared’s arm subconsciously. “We’re in Santa Maria hospital and you’ve been out of it for six days.”
“I…” he trails off, wondering what he’s supposed to say. “Jen…?”
Jensen’s fingers are soft, brushing along his cheeks and then back to tuck his hair out of his face. Tears fill the older man’s eyes and he buries his face in Jared’s chest, “I’m sorry, Jay… I’m so sorry.”
Despite his protesting limbs, Jared manages to slide an arm around his friend’s shoulders, pressing him closer, “Why? Jen, what could you possibly have done to be sorry for?”
“I…” Jensen clings harder, making Jared squeeze his eyes shut at the pain shooting through him.
Footsteps approach the room and Chad’s voice is sharp, “Jesus, Jensen. Let go! Can’t you see you’re hurting him?”
Pulling away as if stung, Jensen stares at Jared, eyes darting down to the blood seeping through the white bandage from the torn stitches, “I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m sorry, Jared. Jare…”
Chad pushes past Jensen, quickly moving to kneel beside the bed and gently fingering the bandage, “Fuck, Jenny. Awesome way to say hi, huh? Just rip him to pieces again.” But the edge in his voice is only concern.
“Chad,” Jared reaches out for his friend, managing to fist a handful of his shirt, “I’m okay.”
Breathing out heavily, Chad gently covers Jared’s fisted hand with his, both wincing when his fingers slide over Jared’s torn wrist, and carefully slides his arms around the younger man, pulling him in for a long hug. “Man, when you’re back together, I am so gonna kick your ass. Do you have any idea how freaked we were?”
“I’m sorry,” Jared whispers when he pulls back, looking up at his two best friends, grimacing when his shoulder shifts slightly.
“I’m gonna call a doctor,” Chad murmurs, his fingers lightly sliding up to ruffle Jared’s hair. His voice is soft as he confesses, “It’s good to have you back.”
*
“Jen…” a soft voice stirs him awake and he raises his head, his eyes automatically searching for his friend.
Jared’s eyes are squeezed tightly shut, his head tossing and turning in the throes of a nightmare, and in one fluid move, Jensen is beside his friend, his hands reaching out to wipe the terror from his friend’s face.
“Jay, I’m right here… wake up, man…. You’re safe now…”
The younger man tenses up under his touch and his eyes flutter open. His voice is so small, like a lost, young child searching for something, “J… Jen?”
Breathing out a sigh of relief, Jensen slides the back of his hand along Jared’s cheek, “Yeah, it’s just me, Jare.”
He doesn’t know whether the physical contact is more for his or Jared’s sake, but he pretends he’s just doing it to comfort his friend. It would be weird if he admitted how much he needs the contact to reassure himself that Jared is real.
As his fingers, slide down to rest pointlessly at the side of Jared’s neck, Jensen keeps track of the steady thumping, imagining that his own heart is following the pattern. Then he feels stupid and pulls his hand away, intending to shove it in his pocket to keep it from getting all touchy-feely, but it only gets far enough to curl around the bruised wrist of his friend, thumb stroking the delicate skin softly, unconsciously.
“How’re you feeling?”
Jared grimaces, his pale face shadowed, “Fine.”
At Jensen’s pointed glare, he shrugs, wincing only slightly, “Better. So, what’s happening with Eric?”
Frowning at the change in topic, Jensen sighs, “Well, obviously Eric wants us to get back to it, but he says that you must just take it easy and get better.”
Jared looks away, “What about you? You could go back now.”
A faint flush tints Jensen’s cheeks and he’s glad Jared’s not looking, “Well, uhm… I kinda told him to go to hell and stay there until you’re ready, then we’ll both show up for work.”
Jared bites his lip, making Jensen wince as the bruised skin begins to bleed. Jared doesn’t even notice. “You don’t have to do that… I know… I know how much you hate not having anything to do.”
“What do you mean I don’t have anything to do?” Jensen shakes his head, “Dude, if you think I’m gonna let you outta my sight, you’re sorely mistaken.”
A blush of color spreads over Jared’s cheeks and Jensen has to grit his teeth to stop his fingers from touching. Looking for all the world like a five year old kid, Jared peers up through his bangs, his bruised jaw and cheek making him look so vulnerable and innocent, as he murmurs huskily, “Thanks, Jen…. I…” his teeth tug at his already raw lip, “Thank you…”
Jensen leans forward, about to say something entirely chick-flicky and unDean-like, not to mention sappy, when someone clears his throat from the doorway, making him jump slightly.
“Not interrupting something, am I?” Chad grins cheerfully, his eyes slipping down to where Jensen’s thumbing Jared’s wrist.
Jared smiles up at the blonde man, “Hey, Chad.”
Chad moves around to scoot up a chair on the other side of the bed, his hand skimming up Jared’s chest and moving to brush the bangs from his eyes, “Hey, kid. How’re you doing?”
“I’m okay, I guess. The doctors have been pumping me with meds and fluids and shit… so I don’t even know whether it’s actually me or the drugs feeling like this.”
Nodding, Chad glances up at Jensen, “And you, emo-kid? Feeling better now that we got our boy back?”
Jensen’s furious glare is spoiled by his impressive flush, and the blonde just chuckles. “Oh, and Jenny, the detective is in the waiting room, he wanted to talk to you.”
*
CONTINUED