Jared decides to be gay
PREVIOUS
♥
The morning after is probably the most awkward morning of my life. Waking up on top of Jared - okay, I guess, so long as we’re alone. Our friendship is so difficult to explain to an outsider, especially because it’s so natural between us. I don’t question his bear hugs and he doesn’t do more than raise an eyebrow when my fingers accidentally get tangled in his hair (it was one time, okay?).
But waking up on top of Jared with Jared’s mom standing slack-jawed in the doorway - so not okay, actually, make that really, really bad.
I jerk up so suddenly I end up poking Jared just under his ribs with my elbow, making him yelp and causing Jared’s dad to come racing into the room, probably thinking one of us is hurt (and, well, Jared is clutching his stomach and all, so I suppose it’s the correct assumption, but…).
Jerry freezes in the doorway just behind Sharon, and they watch silently as I extract myself, slightly more carefully, from Jared’s naked chest. Jared leaves me to fend for myself and lets out a groan like a dying man.
“Uhm…” I start, scratching my stomach for a few seconds before I realise that Jared’s not the only one just wearing boxers. Flushing even further, I scramble for the shirt I’d discarded on the floor and pull it on. If only it had been that easy. My arm gets in the hole for my head and I end up stumbling blindly around and tripping over something on the floor.
The only thing that prevents me from faceplanting on the carpet, is the strong form that catches me. Relieved, I sag into the man, gently laying my hand on his chest and muttering, “Thanks, Jay.” Then I freeze and realise the chest I’m feeling up is clothed, meaning it’s not Jared’s, which only leaves….
Quickly pulling away and ripping the shirt from my head, I stagger backwards, my knees hitting the end of the bed and buckling, sending me crashing down into Jared’s lap.
By now, everyone else is in hysterics, Jared, so much so that I can feel his laughter in vibrations against my back. Too embarrassed to join in, I start to shift forwards, determined to get out of bed without any more mishaps. But before I get anywhere, Jared’s arms slide around my waist, firmly pulling me back against his solid chest as he ducks his head to whisper softly, “Maybe you should stay here for a bit, just until we’re sure you’re safe.”
Another wave of embarrassment stains my cheeks and I grumble something incoherantly, tilting my head back against his shoulder, knowing he’s probably right.
Sharon chuckles softly, “My, my. You two boys sure make a pair.”
♥
“Jens!” Jared yells as he comes thundering into the house. “Jensen!”
I slowly get up from the couch, wondering what the hell it is this time. “Yeah?”
The grin he puts on is stunning, so wide and gorgeous it makes me smile a little in response. But then he replies, “I think I got a boyfriend,” and the smiles dies on my lips.
“What was that?” I ask softly, praying that I misheard.
“I got a boyfriend.”
My stomach sinks and I open my mouth to say how great that is, but I can’t actually get any sound out.
Flopping down on the couch with his legs kicked up, Jared laughs happily, “Yeah, I know, I was pretty shocked too, but… God, Jens… you should see him. His name’s Greg and he’s a mountaineer…” the kid grins goofily, “And, man, he’s fucking hot.”
“Yeah?” I ask softly, my voice breaking slightly.
A small frown creases Jared’s forehead and he quickly pulls to his feet, reaching out for me. “Hey, you okay?”
“Uh… yeah… yeah, I’m fine,” I mutter, then I wince, realising that I’m trying to lie to Jared, which is basically impossibly as the man can see right through me. I quickly cover it up with an element of truth, “Just feeling a bit tired lately. It’s nothing. That’s really awesome news, Jay.”
I manage to escape to my room despite Jared’s puppy eyes, and once I have the door safely shut, I sag down against it, trying to breathe again.
The fact that Jared is actually gay is beginning to sink in, and my mind is spinning off the rails. At first I could stem my feelings by telling myself there was no chance in hell of ever getting together with my straight co-star, but now, with Jared being bisexual and it being a possibility and it still not happening, it just hurts.
And although I never expected Jared to go for me after he turned gay, I guess I was hoping that something would happen eventually.
The thing is, I know Jared loves me, he’s said it a couple of times before (each time setting my pulse racing irrationally), but I just wish it was in the other way as well.
I thunk my head against the door for a few moments, trying to distract myself from thoughts of some random guy’s hands all over Jared’s body. It should be me. I should be Jared’s first. I should be showing him how great it can be. No one else should get to see Jared so vulnerable, no one else should get to touch him like that.
I let out a soft groan and bury my face in my hands, wondering what the hell I’m supposed to do now.
♥
The soft tapping from outside my trailer door wakes me from a sweaty nightmare of Jared dancing his weird monkey dance and grinning at a circle of men all eying him hungrily while I stand at the side unable to do anything.
“Yeah?” I call shakily.
“Jensen, it’s Misha.”
“Oh, hey, man.” I let him in, ignoring his raised eyebrow at my appearance. “What's up?”
He folds himself on the couch and peers up at me, “You want to explain why Jared’s been asking me for gay advice?”
I choke on my own spit and begin hacking a coughing fit.
Misha smirks and shrugs, “I don’t know why he came to me, dude. I mean, do I look gay?” he pauses for a bit, “Don’t answer that…. Anyway, so I was wondering if you two finally stopped making fluffy eyes at each other and got to it.”
“Fluffy eyes?” I wheeze softly, still caught on my shock.
“Yeah, you know… all cute and fluffy and big and ‘fuck me now’ eyes?”
“Right, yeah. Of course.”
“So… who made the first move? Was it him? I bet it was, you’re too chicken-shit to go for it. But anyway, he’s kind of nervous about it, you know with the questions and everything, so just… I don’t know… take it slow with him. He’s a really good guy, Jensen. One of the best.”
“I know,” I murmur quietly before the rest of his speech sinks in, “Wait, wait, Misha. We aren’t together… He… uh… he recently realised he was gay and… well, now he’s… uh, he’s got a boyfriend.”
Misha’s eyes widen, “Who’s not you?”
I try to nod without wincing, but I don’t think I manage it.
“You mean you let… you let some random dude do the dirty with Jared?” Misha sounds appalled. “Dude, how… you’re letting him go off with some random dude on his own?”
“Uh… he is twenty-six. He can do what he likes.”
“But… but…” Misha splutters, “He’s Jared! He's the most naive person I've ever met. You’re going to let him go off with someone who just wants to get in his pants because he’s smoking hot? It’s his first time with a dude and you’re…” Misha shakes his head, “That kid adores you, you’re like his fucking role model, and you’re tossing him out to the wolves on his own.”
“Misha…” I choke, “Listen, okay? Jared doesn’t want me; he’s with this Greg dude or whatever. I’m… I’m happy for him, if he’s happy, I’m happy.”
“That is just too sappy for my taste, Jensen. But it doesn’t change the fact that you’re letting Jared’s first time be with a stranger. Fuck, hold on a second,” he begins struggling with his jacket and, when his hand emerges triumphantly with his cellphone, he presses a speeddial.
“Hey, babe,” he smiles into it. “I’ve got a favour to ask… mmm, yeah… Anyway, you’ve met Jared, right? Yeah, well he’s going through a gay crisis and I wanted to check that it’s okay for me to, you know… Okay, awesome… I love you too.”
He hangs up and turns back to where I’m gaping at him. “Okay, lets go find the big kid.”
“Mish… Misha, you are not sleeping with Jared.”
“Why not? I’m hot, he’s smoking. I’ll be good to him, Jensen. Don’t worry.”
“But… I…”
He pauses on his way to the door, “You want to fuck him yourself?”
My cheeks burn and I shake my head angrily, “Jesus, fucking Christ, man. You are not fucking him, okay? He deserves so much more that just a fuck!”
Misha smirks back at me and winks, “That’s why I was kinda hoping you’d be up for it. Nothing to do with the fact that you’ve been eying his ass since way before I came here of course. Although Dean eye-fucking his brother on screen is a bit weird, but hey.”
Ignoring his jibe, I continue heatedly, “Jared’s not a slut, man. He’s not going to sleep with whoever’s ‘up for it’.”
Coming back towards me, Misha nods, “Exactly. But, he would sleep with you. He’s just terrified because you’re all aloof and ‘higher than thou’ and he doesn’t think you’d ever be interested in him.”
“I… uh… what?”
Misha sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, “Look, Jared’s insecure about some things, okay? And, have you thought about the reason he’s suddenly realised he’s gay?”
“No, but-”
“- And you’ve never shown any sign that you’re into him, even though it’s pretty obvious from an outsider’s view. You just need to have the guts to fess up to it. Okay?”
“I…”
Misha scowls at me, “Look, either you go up to Jared and tell him you’re so fucking in love with him that you haven’t had sex with a real person in two years-”
“Hey, I’ve had sex.”
“One night stands don’t count. - Or, if you don’t have the guts, I’m gonna go find him and shove him up against a wall and kiss him until he can’t think any longer and then I'll move him to the bed.”
The thought of Misha’s hands on Jared’s tanned skin is torture and I quickly shake it from my mind, “I… fine… I’ll… but he won’t want…”
“Good. He at home?”
“Probably, Eric let him off a bit earlier.”
“Well, all the more reason for us to sneak off, what do you think?”
My laughter is slightly hysterical, but Misha does seem to bring the crazy side out of everyone.
Somehow, we manage to get to Misha’s truck without causing any suspicion, and soon we’re pulling up outside the house. Misha shakes his head with a snort, “You fuckers are so slow, honestly. Moving in together and being around each other constantly and in each other’s space and everything and yet it’s still taken you this long?”
“Jared’s been straight,” I mutter, glaring at him.
“Yeah, yeah. Keep telling yourself that, loverboy.”
The house is silent as I let us in, but I call softly, “Jared?”
That sends the dogs running over, but still no sign of the giant. I wander towards his bedroom and tacked to the door is a post-it note.
My gut clenches and I look down as Misha approaches, reading over my shoulder.
“Well, fuck…” he murmurs glancing at me cautiously.
I try to shrug uncaringly, but it obviously doesn’t work as Misha’s face crumbles into a look usually given to hurt puppies. “He loves you, Jensen.”
“Right.”
Misha steers me towards the living room. “Listen, you can tell me to shut the fuck up but I’ve seen the way that kid looks at you, how he’s always making sure you’re okay, rescuing you from awkward conversations by being extra goofy or something like that. He really, really loves you, in the gay manlove way as well. Now, just because he’s gone on a date doesn’t mean a thing.”
“Yeah, whatever you say, Misha. I’m going to bed.”
But he grabs my arm before I can get anywhere, “Nuh uh, you and me are gonna play Madden until the kid gets back from his date. We’re gonna want to hear all about it, aren’t we?”
“Uh… no. I really don’t want to hear about how some dude popped Jared’s cherry, thank you very much.”
Misha gasps theatrically, “You think he puts out on the first date?”
“No! I… I don’t know… You were the one talking about fucking like it was nothing.”
“Fucking is not nothing. It is the expression of mutual attraction between two forms mutually attracted to each other’s form.”
I roll my eyes, “Oh, brilliant piece of literature that was, you should really consider being a poet.”
“I know,” he nods solemnly, “I just feel I am obligated to answer my other callings first.”
“Uh huh…”
♥
Two hours later, not much has changed. Misha is still lamenting over Jared’s lost virginity and my inability to claim it for my own (or something to that effect), when the phone rings.
Prying myself from Misha’s side, I grab it on the third ring. “Hello?”
“Jensen?” A small voice asks and, the second I realise it’s Jared, my heart drops.
“Jay, you okay?” I ask urgently, quickly beginning to shove my feet into their respective shoes.
“I…” his breath hitches and he whispers, “Can you... come pick me up? I’m not… I’m not feeling too good.”
“Sure, kid,” I reply gently, “Where are you?”
“Uhm…I don’t know…” he chokes, “I… wait there’s a street sign. Milner… I’m on the corner between Milner and Sandon road.”
“Okay, bud. Just… just hang on, I’ll be there… I’m on my way.”
I turn towards Misha, relieved to see him already dressed to go. “You know where Milner or Sandon road is?”
When he reveals that he does, I nearly hug him, but am too busy jolting the car into motion and peeling away with Misha barely managing to fasten his seatbelt in time.
A few moments later, he breaks the tense silence, “What… Did he say what happened?”
“No.”
We nearly miss the dark form slumped on the edge of the curb, but Misha luckily recognises the mop of hair and I stumble out of the car so quickly that I nearly forget to brake.
“Jared,” I whisper, moving towards the man, not hesitating as I tug him into my arms and let him burrow into me like a small child. “It’s okay, I got you… I got you…” I breathe, pressing my nose into his hair and inhaling the soft scent of coconuts.
When his desperate clutching slowly relaxes, I pull back slightly, brushing the hair from his face and tilting his chin up so his dazed eyes are forced to look at me. “Jared, what happened?”
“I…” his eyes dart to the side, widening as they take in the shadowed form of Misha. But then Misha steps closer, his face moving into the light and Jared slumps in relief again.
Misha slowly approaches, his hands gently as they reach out for Jared’s shoulder. “Hey, buddy. You okay?”
“I…” Jared’s gaze falls and he turns his head slightly, hiding in the dip of my neck again.
Gently running my fingers through his hair, I wrap my arms more firmly around him. “Who did this, Jared? Who hurt you?” What I’m actually asking is whose ass am I going to be kicking later. “Greg?”
Jared’s hands tighten in my jacket and I clench my teeth firmly together.
“I’m… dizzy, Jens… Like… blurry… Head hurts…”
“Did… Jared…” I take a deep breath and squeeze my eyes shut, praying I’m wrong. “Jared, did… how did he…did he… do you need the hospital…?”
Jared just continues murmuring, “Wine… it was in… he put… but… hate wine… you know I hate wine, don’t you, Jens? You… you wouldn’t… give me wine, right?”
“No wine, yeah, dude. I know you. You’re a beer man.”
“You know me, Jens…” he mumbles into my neck, “He just… he just wanted to…” Jared lets out a bitter chuckle, “Do I… do I look like a fuck toy?”
“No, Jay. Of course not.”
“Not even… he scrubs tables downtown… said… mountaineer…lie… lie… lie…” he keeps babbling for a while until he finally calms down and whispers, “You don’… you wouldn’ lie to me, right, Jens? You… like me… right? Not… not fuck toy… You wouldn’…. You wouldn’ force me if... not ready… right, Jens?”
“God, Jared,” I butt my forehead against his, “You know I would never…. Wait, that fucker tried to force you?”
“Tried… but… don’t like wine… broke his nose…”
“Thank God,” I breathe softly, meeting Misha’s relieved gaze over the top of Jared’s mop. “But… think we should go get you checked at the hospital, make sure that the drug isn’t… isn’t harmful…”
“No, no… jus’ wanna sleep… He said… just a roofie…”
I exchange glances with Misha again and the man nods, “It’s looks like that to me, my friend in college got roofied once. Same… disorientation and shit. And it sounds like Jared didn't drink much of it, he should just sleep it off.”
To press this point, Jared groans softly, pressing his nose against my throat and whispering weakly, “’m tired, Jens… I wan’… I…”
“Okay, let’s get you home.” I murmur, pressing him closer as he nods, chin digging into my neck.
As I just hoist the kid up into my arms, Misha’s eyes widen and he blurts, “You can carry him?”
Shifting Jared’s legs more firmly around my waist, I shoot Misha a quick glance, “Of course I can, he may be a sasquatch but he’s still my sasquatch.”
Misha cracks a small smile at that, but it quickly disappears, his face morphing back into the worried one that I know I must be mirroring. He quickly opens the backdoor and helps me lower Jared down. But the kid just clings to me, murmuring sounds of protest each time I make a move to pull away, which is perfectly fine by me as I just crawl into the backseat beside him and let him use me as a mattress.
When Misha eyes us in the rearview mirror with fondness in his gaze, I have to look away, blushing as I card my fingers gently through Jared’s hair. Then a wave of anger surges through me and I growl, “Tomorrow, we are finding this Greg and we are going to rip him a new one. I don’t care if I get arrested for assault, he is going down.”
Misha meets my eye in the mirror and replies, “Seconded. And I’ll call up Smallville and One tree hill, see if those guys want to… hang out.”
♥
The rest of the evening passes quickly, with Misha collapsing on the couch and Jared not letting me out of his arms until I concede to be his teddy for the night (and hopefully - if I’ve been reading things right - for a lot longer as well).
There’s nothing I actually want more than this: lying with him curled at my side, the warm weight of his head moving up and down on my chest each time I breathe, his arms and legs slung over my body like he’s claiming me, the soft scent of his shampoo as I bury my nose in his hair, and everything else that comes with having a sasquatch squashing me.
It’s all so perfect, only spoiled by the reason he’s here: Greg.
As I lie awake for hours, listening to the soft muffled sound of his breathing, I begin to plan the destruction of that man. I’ve just gotten to the part where I’m dismembering him toe by toe, when I realise it’s nearly morning, and Jared’s breath hitches as he raises his head from my chest, looking down at me in confusion, the effects of the roofie drug evidently only lasting a few hours.
“Jens?”
Preparing to explain why I’m in bed with him and why I’m not a pervert who crawls into innocent men’s beds, I carefully try not to blush. “Hey…”
“Will… uh… will you be my… I don’t know if you want…” he trails off, looking away miserably.
That’s when a voice calls from the passage, “Yes, Jared, he will totally go out with you and get gay married with you, and because Jensen Ackles is a puff-cake and he’s too chicken to tell you himself, I’ll have to do the job for him: he’s totally and utterly over the moon for you, so can you two just kiss and shut up? It’s real early.”
My mouth opens and closes a couple of times as I try to figure out why that just happened. Jared, looking equally terrified, glances towards the doorway.
“How long do you think he’s been spying on us for?”
“Since your couch is evil and I decided to drag the mattress from Jenny’s bed to over here so I could make sure you two finally fessed up to your big, gay, manlove thing. Now can we all go to sleep?”
“Perve!” I yell out at him, trying to cover up the fact that I’m beet-red.
When I finally manage to look Jared in the eye, I relax slightly, realising I’m not the only red one. “So…”
“Just kiss him already!” Misha yells.
“Uhm…” Jared glances nervously at the door and I nod, slipping out of the bed and slamming the door shut, hearing a muffled ‘Hey!’ from the passage.
“So…” I start again as I slide back under the covers, pausing when I realise that line isn’t very effective.
Then Jared grins his mega-watt smile at me and crawls back onto my chest, wrapping himself around me like a monkey and tucking his nose against my neck. “So, I don’t think I told you why I suddenly realised I’m gay, did I?”
“Uhm… no… I don’t think you did.”
I can feel his cheeks burning against my skin, but he continues, his fingers gently tracing patterns on my shirt, “Well, I have this co-star, right? And… he’s got the prettiest eyes and lips and face, and the cutest ass, and he’s fucking ripped… But… see, I was straight, so none of that affected me that much… but then… then I find out that this guy is one of the kindest people I’ve ever met and he’s real shy but once I got past his walls, I realised I was in for life…”
Jared smiles against my neck, “And he’s always there when I need him, always strong when I need someone to lean on… And when I do something for him, his eyes light up and he makes me feel like I’ve saved the world or something… and he’s everything I could possibly ask for in a lover, considerate, loyal, loving, always making sure I’m okay, always making sure that I’ve got gummy worms, always watching my dogs when I’m out of state, and… and then I realised that I didn’t care that he was a dude… I only cared that he was mine and mine forever… and once I’d gotten past that…”
He whistles softly, “Wow, those eyes and lips and face and ass and abs, man, they were so fucking hot I didn’t know how I managed to keep from grabbing him each time he came near me.”
Clapping from the corridor breaks the silence that follows and Misha’s voice is slightly muffled by the door as he yells, “Kiss him! Kiss him! That speech must’ve taken ages to memorise.”
Half amused and half annoyed with Misha, I decide not to dignify that with a response but I do take his advice into account. Gently nudging Jared up from where he’s hiding his face against my neck, I gaze up at him, “Jay… I… God… come here,” then I tug him back down, pressing his lips against mine and murmuring into his lips, “Fuck, I love you.”
He breaks out into another grin, which makes the kiss messy and uncoordinated, but I don’t think either of us cares. My fingers, finally able to roam as much as they want, slide up under his shirt, trailing along the firm, shifting muscles of his back and pressing him closer.
As he lets out a soft whimper, the door bangs open and Misha’s there, snapping away with my camera before we can pull away. Then the bastard grins, “Just adding more to the file. Jared, did you know Jenny has a freaky habit of watching you while you sleep and taking photos of your innocently sprawled body?”
“Misha,” I groan, glancing nervously up at Jared, but the kid only smiles and ducks down for another kiss, ignoring the camera-wielding man entirely.
♥
“So…” Chad murmurs slowly, “Who’s gonna take it up the ass?”
“Chad!” Jared squeaks, smacking his friend (and I have no idea why Chad qualifies for this position at all).
“Well,” Misha says slowly, “I think Jared will, because Jensen here has a thing for protecting the youngster and being all macho.”
“Hmmmm, nah,” Chad shakes his head, “I think Jenny will, ‘cause he’s got the girly eyelashes and lips…”
Misha nods, like he’s assessing it, “And he’s also got the bowlegged thing, that’d help Jared fit in betw-”
“O-kay, that’s enough, you douchebags,” I interrupt quickly, wondering whether they're twins separated at birth. “Why don’t you two fuckers run along now and find someone else to haunt?”
They ignore me and continue, “Okay, fine, I bet twenty bucks it’s Jared who’s gonna take it up the ass.”
Chad nods with a smirk, “Sure, I say Jenny here’s the chick. I mean, come on, he even has a girl’s name.”
“Remind me why we hang out with you,” Jared mutters, shifting along the couch and pressing his shoulder further into mine. I look up at him and can’t help the smile that breaks out across my lips.
Chad groans, “Because no one else would put up with you two making Bambi eyes at each other twenty-four seven.”
“Fuck you.”
“Nuh uh, it’s fuck Jensen, remember,” Chad replies with a grin, “Don’t let me down now, Jay. You make him take it, you hear me?”
“Oh, God,” Jared moans, hiding his appalled face in my shoulder. “Save me, Jens… Please, get me away from these freaks…”
Only too glad to obey, I glare at the other two, “You two are officially kicked out. Now, get lost.”
Chad grins at me, “Even after all my help with Trev?”
I let out a sigh and run my fingers through Jared’s hair, trying to prevent my approaching loss of temper, “Yes, Chad. We appreciate your dubious contact with an underage male hooker, but now that Greg’s in jail, isn’t there someplace else you can exert your magnificent skills?”
When we finally manage to get rid of the pair, I grin at Jared, “I swear, it’s like having annoying children who won’t go away.”
“Yeah…” Jared murmurs, sounding distracted, “I’m… I’m really glad Greg’s in jail… but… did we do the…”
I tug him closer to me, “Course we did. That asshole tried to rape you… he deserves more than the four years he got. Besides, it wasn’t like we forced him to sleep with Trev, Trev just… showed up conveniently.”
“Yeah…”
“How’re you feeling?”
Jared smiles as I press a soft kiss to his forehead, and replies, “Like I’ve got the most amazing man in the world looking after me.”
“Well, now… that can’t be right, ‘cause I was under the impression that I had the most amazing man in the world curled up on my lap.”
He lifts up to press our lips together, gently nipping and licking until my lips part to allow him entrance. The kiss deepens and becomes more heated, and soon we’re gasping for breath as we pull apart, both grinning widely.
“Tomorrow night,” I mouth against his jaw, “Tomorrow night I’m gonna take you out, show you what a real date is like.”
“Oh, really?”
“Mmm hmmm, Misha’s gonna help us escape from set early, and there won’t be any wine, I promise.”
“Beer?”
“Duh.”
“Steak?”
“Yup.”
“At Taylor’s?”
“You got it.”
He giggles softly, “You are so predictable.”
“You love me.”
“Says who? I mean, my whole speech yesterday was about a co-star,” he lowers his voice to a whisper, “I was actually talking about Misha, just don’t tell him.”
And I think that fully deserves a shove off the couch.
♥
“Jen, come look at what I found!”
“What is it?”
“Check. We look so gay, dude. Seriously, how have CW not been sued for incest?”
“I think the main question is how did you not realise you were gay sooner?”
He just grins.
♥