Did I do it to harm myself or to get rid of the pain??
I'm going to cut this for self harm/suicidal triggers and much use of rude words .....
My pain has been getting increasingly worse these past few days Keep getting chest pains that wake me up. My joints in my wrists, elbows and shoulders are tender (medical speak that is for fucking painful).
On Saturday I realised that all the Pain Management skills I have weren't worth shit. Sunday I felt down. Monday I went out and bought 32 Paramol (paracetamol and dihydrocodeine) and "ate" 24 of them over the day along with my normal prescribed drugs.
The reason for the subject is this: If I'd meant to kill myself, I have enough Tramadol, Morphine, Valium and Nortryptoline to do the job. So I don't think I was actually trying to kill myself. I think I just wanted to take the pain away for a little while. It didn't work btw.
I know I did something very stupid and I'm going to see the Doctor this afternoon to discuss this. I've given my prescription drugs to my husband so I don't know where they are just in case I decide that I am going to try again but with the prescribed stuff. I have a drug planner which breaks it down daily.
I haven't felt bad enough to do this in a while. I've got the same pain; just a lack of being able to deal with it.
Any suggestions anyone? If you wish to flame me, do it nicely :-)
My pain has been getting increasingly worse these past few days Keep getting chest pains that wake me up. My joints in my wrists, elbows and shoulders are tender (medical speak that is for fucking painful).
On Saturday I realised that all the Pain Management skills I have weren't worth shit. Sunday I felt down. Monday I went out and bought 32 Paramol (paracetamol and dihydrocodeine) and "ate" 24 of them over the day along with my normal prescribed drugs.
The reason for the subject is this: If I'd meant to kill myself, I have enough Tramadol, Morphine, Valium and Nortryptoline to do the job. So I don't think I was actually trying to kill myself. I think I just wanted to take the pain away for a little while. It didn't work btw.
I know I did something very stupid and I'm going to see the Doctor this afternoon to discuss this. I've given my prescription drugs to my husband so I don't know where they are just in case I decide that I am going to try again but with the prescribed stuff. I have a drug planner which breaks it down daily.
I haven't felt bad enough to do this in a while. I've got the same pain; just a lack of being able to deal with it.
Any suggestions anyone? If you wish to flame me, do it nicely :-)