good advice. the best advice.
"Remember when you felt like a comet burning almost into nothing
when you were 14 and you couldn't wait to lie to your parents and listen to live music in someone's garage or at the VFW Hall
remember when you first kissed a boy and it made your thighs tingle, and you knew you'd never be the same
all those nights when the stars flooded the sky so fully that you couldn't see the darkness in between you and the sheet of fireflies in the tree-line
nothing has to change
Remember that if your heart never changes, the things you hold on to like a safety blanket or shotgun can't just slip from under you and disappear
Maybe it takes more than 14 or 15 years to realize it and that's why your first years are so full of split second decisions and fear and longing to be spontaneous and the first to discover the world outside of your home and your parents morals or values
that is what makes life worth a shit
Never lose that feeling of desperateness to live every second
Remember never to forget the midwest, because if you grew up here it's already in your lungs and your veins
its where you stole out of your house to go on walks in the summer heat at 4 am, where you went to your first real party, where you lost your virginity and that voice inside you telling you to keep your cool was eaten up by all the happiness you felt at the strangest moments
where you first lost a friend and cried so hard that the tears never really left your best friend's shoulder
Never forget to sit back sometimes or climb the trees outside of the park and watch the sky unfold in the summer
to walk through the night in the fall so you can see your breath in front of you
go sleep beside fireplaces and sled with friends and have only another body to keep you warm sometimes
Get high in backseats, make love in awkward places, go on long drives and hold your hand out the window just to let it ripple in the air
Don't fucking forget to live, that's worse than being dead. At least if you're depressed you can throw caution to the wind and do whatever you want to do"
there honestly isn't a part of me that doesn't think like this. i really think it's just immersing yourself with people who don't think that way just like... tricks you into doing it too.
i want someone who can be alive with me again. anyone who can read that and realize that it's not naive. it's real. sure, there's more shit to worry about now. but that's all it is, shit. it's not important. at least you're alive... realizing people aren't self-motivated machines, they're people and they do care about you, naturally... and no one acts on anything other than what they think is best, and if they make a bad choice, it's not because they aren't still good people. life is only as complicated as you think it is. i just want someone to hang out with again who can say that with me, so I can think i'm not crazy for believing it.
a good friend who can sit back with me and realize how much beauty is here, laugh at the comedy of the mess that is life... just be free again. i write this in a way that is completely free of any ill-feelings toward anyone in my life. i've chosen my own path and I have no regrets, no hidden motivations. i just want to appreciate everyone and hopefully teach them how to appreciate each other again in the process. if this was the summer, i'd organize a goddamn barbeque and make everyone come back to sit in the sun, take pictures, and laugh again... stare at the stars all goddamn night and drink until morning.... and hopefully realize how valuable they all are to each other. because truthfully, i have nothing but love for all of them.
p.s. - i needed to write this. because I know it isn't bullshit. and someday i'll feel shitty and come back to this, like i came back to the entry I pasted before. and i'll realize that this whole thing is beautiful and amazing and i shouldn't take it for granted. live, love those around you for who they are and let this whole thing burn stunning and bright for all it's worth while you still can.
don't feel bad, because it's always beautiful.
when you were 14 and you couldn't wait to lie to your parents and listen to live music in someone's garage or at the VFW Hall
remember when you first kissed a boy and it made your thighs tingle, and you knew you'd never be the same
all those nights when the stars flooded the sky so fully that you couldn't see the darkness in between you and the sheet of fireflies in the tree-line
nothing has to change
Remember that if your heart never changes, the things you hold on to like a safety blanket or shotgun can't just slip from under you and disappear
Maybe it takes more than 14 or 15 years to realize it and that's why your first years are so full of split second decisions and fear and longing to be spontaneous and the first to discover the world outside of your home and your parents morals or values
that is what makes life worth a shit
Never lose that feeling of desperateness to live every second
Remember never to forget the midwest, because if you grew up here it's already in your lungs and your veins
its where you stole out of your house to go on walks in the summer heat at 4 am, where you went to your first real party, where you lost your virginity and that voice inside you telling you to keep your cool was eaten up by all the happiness you felt at the strangest moments
where you first lost a friend and cried so hard that the tears never really left your best friend's shoulder
Never forget to sit back sometimes or climb the trees outside of the park and watch the sky unfold in the summer
to walk through the night in the fall so you can see your breath in front of you
go sleep beside fireplaces and sled with friends and have only another body to keep you warm sometimes
Get high in backseats, make love in awkward places, go on long drives and hold your hand out the window just to let it ripple in the air
Don't fucking forget to live, that's worse than being dead. At least if you're depressed you can throw caution to the wind and do whatever you want to do"
there honestly isn't a part of me that doesn't think like this. i really think it's just immersing yourself with people who don't think that way just like... tricks you into doing it too.
i want someone who can be alive with me again. anyone who can read that and realize that it's not naive. it's real. sure, there's more shit to worry about now. but that's all it is, shit. it's not important. at least you're alive... realizing people aren't self-motivated machines, they're people and they do care about you, naturally... and no one acts on anything other than what they think is best, and if they make a bad choice, it's not because they aren't still good people. life is only as complicated as you think it is. i just want someone to hang out with again who can say that with me, so I can think i'm not crazy for believing it.
a good friend who can sit back with me and realize how much beauty is here, laugh at the comedy of the mess that is life... just be free again. i write this in a way that is completely free of any ill-feelings toward anyone in my life. i've chosen my own path and I have no regrets, no hidden motivations. i just want to appreciate everyone and hopefully teach them how to appreciate each other again in the process. if this was the summer, i'd organize a goddamn barbeque and make everyone come back to sit in the sun, take pictures, and laugh again... stare at the stars all goddamn night and drink until morning.... and hopefully realize how valuable they all are to each other. because truthfully, i have nothing but love for all of them.
p.s. - i needed to write this. because I know it isn't bullshit. and someday i'll feel shitty and come back to this, like i came back to the entry I pasted before. and i'll realize that this whole thing is beautiful and amazing and i shouldn't take it for granted. live, love those around you for who they are and let this whole thing burn stunning and bright for all it's worth while you still can.
don't feel bad, because it's always beautiful.