love love love, why do i keep talking about it?
Love, i want it so bad it hurts sometimes. What do I love exactly? I love people, I love my friends, I love my family to pieces, I do love and believe in God himself, for he is also my family..I love shoes, I love magazines and shopping. Cosmopolitan, and Vogue=my life. I love the idea of LOVE, and maybe thats why I want it so bad. Maybe I don't exactly want to be in love but the idea of it makes me want something like it so bad.
I dont understand what I did wrong, and why he can't just want me. Im showing my insecurities because they are there and right now I can not hide them. Im insecure about my personality because I feel its not good enough, because he doesn't want me. Im insecure about my looks because I feel like they're not good enough. Im insecure about the two things that attract a man, because those things he doesnt want, and I like him so much still and I can honestly tell you why this time. I kind of matured when it comes to knowing what I want and now I can tell you because I found it in him. I could probably tell you what I dont want because I found it in him too. SO here it goes...
I want
his personality
his charm
his smile
his kindness
his touch
his body
his style
his "wack"ness, because i love it
his bad dance moves lol
his intelligence
his pothead self(even though i dont smoke like that)
is that a bad boy image sort of?
but i want his good guy self that i also see
i want the date to the movies and out to eat that i was promised but never got
I DONT want
his high key known self
his sexual want to have sex with a lot of girls
the lost of girls that hes had sex with
its harder to think about what i dislike then what i do like
because when i met him he wasn't sumone i needed to know, but when i did i fell for him hard, and now its just over its just GONE. and i don't STILL dont know what to do or how to act. The girl he used to talk to still probably plays a part in his life and they will probably end up back together some day w.e who knows.. will love ever find me forreal? Will someone just love me when they have me? and not AFTER they lose me? I just want the Real thing.
( ugh, this was probably pathetic but hey)
<3