The Fandom High Times, Volume 7, 1st Edition
FROM THE EDITOR'S DESK
It appears in this day and age that print media is dying. Even locally, if you're not getting news from the radio, you're finding about everything that's relevant to you through e-mail, Twitter, or impromptu town meetings put together to warn us of terrible danger. It seemed that there was no need for a school newspaper. And so, without somebody ignorant enough of today's realities to keep it going, it died a silent death.
My name is Dave Nelson and I'm from the year 1981. Back then, the newspaper industry was thriving and it would for another twenty-five years or so. If I do my job well, this reborn student newspaper will thrive for at least one tenth of that time before I hand it off to a successor. I promise that I will do everything in my power to make that happen.
So please, join me and the new Fandom High Times staff every week for the rest of the semester as we bring you the news you're just not going to get anywhere else. It may not be timely. It may be at least a little crazed at times. But it should be both fun and informative, and that, to me, is news.
TEACHER PROFILES:
TYRION LANNISTER
by Darcy Lewis
While Tyrion Lannister may not be new to Fandom High, Professor Lannister is new to our world. Originally from the city of Lannisport in the Seven Kingdoms, he ended up a tactics teacher here last semester. If you've never heard of either of those places, don't worry, the world he's from is rather different from ours. There is a kingdom ruled by a king, seasons can last for years, and a teenager is considered an adult.
Professor Lannister has found it easier to adjust to the technology than to the weather. In his first week, he made his teaching buddy explain computers to him, and from then on has been one of the few people in this world to actually use the Internet the way some people think it should be used - for knowledge.
As a current student of his, I highly recommend people take his Basic Strategy class.
INVESTIGATION: FANDOM
AN INTRODUCTION TO INVESTIGATION: FANDOM
by Annie Edison
This article is not an investigation. No, it is a teaser for what's to come. I am in the middle of bringing you a groundbreaking piece of work, and it will only be the beginning. In this column you'll see hard-hitting journalism, focusing on subjects that really matter to the youth of today, from a trustworthy, unbiased source.
And I need you help, dear students of Fandom High. If there is a subject that you'd like to get to the bottom of, I want to hear about it. Tell me your concerns and I'll break down whatever walls need to be broken down to get to the truth at the heart of every story.
Starting next week.
THE ART OF OBSERVATION
by Lucrezia Borgia
I am not familiar enough with this island to write a column on its oddities, nor am I familiar with the nuances of reporting. Instead, I have chosen a subject with which I am familiar, by virtue of my family's political background: the art of observation, and of using information gleaned to one's advantage. Such matters can be necessary to one's survival, but a degree of subtlety is also required. One must be skilled at the game without appearing to play.
The first suggestion I would have is to keep one's eyes, but especially ears, open, at all times. It is altogether too easy to immerse one's self in a novel whilst those seated nearby are indiscreet. This is not to suggest that one should be so gauche as to openly eavesdrop; but if one's parents are discussing one's fate, then it does benefit one to sit silently and give a fair impression of hearing not a word.
For this to be successful, however, one must be convincing; no stray gasp of surprise at errant news, and no looking up when either party points out a particularly lovely swallow. Remembering to turn pages will help, though not if the rustling calls your presence once more to mind.
Being aware of one's surroundings, even if one is only headed to a private bench to read, can reap unexpected rewards. Knowledge is powerful. One should never miss an opportunity to hide an ace within one's sleeve.
FANDOM STRANGENESS UPDATE
by FHT Staff
• Over the weekend, boys turned into girls and men into women. At press time, this seems to have reversed itself. Big Siblings, consider giving some opposite gender underwear to future Little Siblings and tell them they'll know when to use it.
• The Fandom High Times will do our best to keep you updated on what you may have missed if you were hiding in your room and some suggestions on how to be better prepared for the next go around. Because apparently this stuff recurs.
by readers like you!
If you'd like to contribute your thoughts and opinions to the Fandom High Times, please send us an e-mail! letters.fhightimes@fandomhigh.edu
THE FINAL WORD
by Dave Nelson
As this first issue comes to a close, I wanted to give thanks to the example set by all of the previous editors of the Fandom High Times. Chloe Sullivan, Jake Gavin, Jr., Rory Gilmore, Peter Parker, Rikku, Cal Stephanides, Joan Girardi, Hoshi Sato, Blackagar Boltagon, and Cally, as well as the dozens of staff and guest writers. Their versions of this paper have inspired my own, and I hope that they'd be proud to see that the tradition continues, if in slightly modified form.
Coffee Pin-Up
credits:
editor: Dave Nelson
words: Lucrezia Borgia, Annie Edison, Darcy Lewis, Dave Nelson
pictures: So many people from Fandom High Times past. Enough that frankly I don't even know who did what anymore, but it started with Chloe Sullivan.
adviser: Jaye Tyler
Questions? Concerns? Got a hot tip? Send a letter to the editor: letters.fhightimes@fandomhigh.edu!
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