Editor's Letter:
Dear Reader,
There's a stunning irony to our thirteenth edition being published on a Friday like this one. Unless the creepy fog has miraculously cleared up overnight, it's the kind of day that horror movies favor. And thirteen is generally considered an unlucky number.
We here at the Fandom High Times hope you will take all necessary precautions this weekend. In fact, we've included a list of six things you can do to keep yourself safe.
Also remember that Fandom is a town full of incredibly smart people who are working tirelessly to determine exactly what we're dealing with. We're also a town full of incredibly strong, powered people who will no doubt be able to take care of the problem once it is discerned.
Above all, take care of yourself.
Joan
6 Things You Can Do To Be Safe This Weekend
by: Hoshi Sato
6. Don't go outside if you can avoid it!
5. If you absolutely must go outside, consider wearing some sort of protection to avoid breathing in the fog.
4. If you cannot get protection, get someone who can transport you.
3. If you must go outside, please let people know where you are going.
2. Keep those trips short and sweet. It's really easy to get lost out there.
1. Please leave the weapons behind! You don't want to accidentally hurt a friend because you couldn't see them in the fog.
Faculty Spotlight: Paige Matthews
by: Joan Girardi
When Paige Matthews arrived in Fandom a few months ago, she had no idea what she was getting herself in to. She not only discovered that a younger, alternate universe version of herself had once attended school here, but she also got to meet younger, alternate universe versions of two of her sisters and her two nephews.
"Saying it was a shock is definitely an understatement," Matthews remarked. "It helps knowing I'm not alone."
Prior to teaching in Fandom, she taught at a magic school in her home dimension. Before that, she worked for a number of years as a social worker and also spent some time doing temp work. "Temp work was surprisingly satisfying," Matthews admitted.
We were unable to talk long, because she was one of the many doing research into the current oddness going on in Fandom, but she did make this offer. "If anyone needs safe transportation without going out in the fog, feel free to contact me."
Business Spotlight
The Perk & Jeff, God of Biscuits
by: Ellie Bartowski
If you ever have a craving for something caffeinated or sugary or you just need a reason to be kept awake, there are two businesses that will cater to those needs. The Perk and Jeff, God of Biscuits are two of the most well established businesses in town. After all, there are always going to be residents who cannot resist a good cup of coffee or baked good.
"It's a comfortable atmosphere where you could sit all day and catch up with your friends and neighbors," says Mary Connell, referring to The Perk.
Claire Bennet is always amazed at the efficiency of the staff. "I go in every Wednesday and get the same order, and they actually have it ready and waiting for me when I arrive now."
There are many beverages to choose from. There's the simple cup of coffee to the more flavored types. Perhaps the fancy macchiatos and frappuccinos are more to your liking. Whatever the case, they can be found at The Perk.
After purchasing the caffeinated goodness, a visit to J, GOB is a must.
"Jeff's has, like, the best bear claws I've ever eaten," says Hurley Reyes. "Seriously."
Besides bear claws, J,GOB has all sorts of fresh baked goods daily. There are doughnuts, brownies, cookies, muffins, pies, cakes, and so much more. They make for great after school snacks as well.
So get out and support those businesses. Maybe after the fog clears.
Cooking Made Easy
by: Hoshi Sato
A lot of times when I talk about cooking, I start out by giving you a recipe. For best results, you have to go out there and gather up all the ingredients before you get started. 95% of the time, that's just fine.
But we live on Fandom Island, and there's that 5% of the time where the island is overrun with vampires, zombies or toxic fog and it's just not safe to run to the store for a dozen eggs. Believe me, this is no time to try and perfect your souffle recipe when people are getting hurt out there. Instead, you need to learn how to make do with the things you have on hand.
There are some basic rules to keep in mind when you improvise in the kitchen. Keep in mind that most baked goods require specific amounts of things in order to turn out properly, so they are very difficult to make with substitutions. You're better off sticking with something plain and simple, like a casserole or stew. In fact, casseroles are an easy way of using up leftover. All you need to remember is that you need eggs, cheese, or a combination of milk and flour to act as a binding agent.
So you're not getting a recipe this week, Fandom. Hit those kitchens and experiment, but just remember to stay safe. And after the fog lifts, remember to keep those pantries stocked for times like this.
Coffee Pin-Up
Cute Kitten Picture
credits:
editors: Joan Girardi, Hoshi Sato
words: Ellie Bartowski, Joan Girardi, Hoshi Sato
pictures: The fabulous Chloe Sullivan, the amazing Rory Gilmore, the marvelous Peter Parker, the effervescent Rikku, the middling Cal Stephanides, the talented Joan Girardi, and the effusive Hoshi Sato
adviser: Ghanima Atreides
Questions? Concerns? Got a hot tip? Send a letter to the editor:
letters.fhightimes@fandomhigh.edu!
Want to promote your business and support the newspaper? Contact our
ad department!