THE FANDOM HIGHTIMES: VOLUME 3, 11th EDITION!
PETER SPEAKS:
Here at Fandom High, students have a habit of turning into animals with little or no provocation. Dogs, cats, elephants, and likely aardvarks at some point. There is no creature in the animal kingdom that a student won't turn into given enough time.
And that's why we need to make the dorms more accessible for animals of all sizes. And this goes beyond well-labeled elevators with buttons that can be easily pressed by paws or snouts. We also need beds that can better hide a baby elephant - for example - that doesn't want to be seen. Perhaps one day the school administration will put the proper amount of concern into minor animal issues. Until then, the Fandom Hightimes will champion this cause nearly with nearly as much enthusiasm as we do the Pony Rewards System.
LEARN TO SPEAK AL BHED
By Rikku
Hello, hello, hello and welcome back to another week of Learn to Speak Al Bhed! February is such a busy month and there are all kinds of nifty events, like Valentine's (Hi, Valentine!) and spring break coming up, so let's get right to learning some Al Bhed!
Learning a language can be a very rewarding experience!
Maynhehk y myhkiyka lyh pa y jano nafyntehk aqbaneahla!
Everyone looked very nice at the dance.
Ajanouha muugat jano hela yd dra tyhla.
Do you have exciting plans for Spring Break?
Tu oui ryja aqledehk bmyhc vun Cbnehk Pnayg?
You will think of something eventually! I am sure of it!
Oui femm drehg uv cusadrehk ajahdiymmo! E ys cina uv ed!
Good luck on your midterms! I hope you all do great!
Kuut milg uh ouin setdansc! E ruba oui ymm tu knayd!
That's all for this week! If you want to practice, just find me and try some of these out! I'm always excited to meet new people who are learning Al Bhed!!! See you next week! (Caa oui haqd faag!)
SENIORITIS: AN INVESTIGATIVE EVENT IN SEVEN PARTS
PART III: THE CURE FOR SENIORITIS
by Peter Parker
Graduation.
Next week: More filler!
THE FANDOM HIGHTIMES PERSONALS
Compiled by Jamie Madrox, Esq.
Dear Fluffy. All is forgiven. Come back home to those who love you. Your litter box is clean.
SWM with fondness for spandex seeks small elephant. Large elephants need not apply. Call 555-XDAR.
SWF seeks sausage. Preferably Italian or Polish. Not a euphemism. Please call 555-ZEAP and leave a description.
Are you lonely? Do you need a "friend"? Call me at 555-YFCQ and leave me a description of your favorite body part.
The Fine Print
By Peter Parker
I can't explain why I have a bad feeling about this issue.
Coffee Pin-Up
credits:
editor: Peter Parker
words: Jamie Madrox, Esq, Peter Parker, Rikku
pictures: The fabulous Chloe Sullivan, the modest Peter Parker, and the magnificent Google
adviser: Steve Rogers
Questions? Comments? Complaints? Send a letter to the editor: letters.fhightimes@fandomhigh.edu