THE FANDOM HIGHTIMES: VOLUME 3, 9th EDITION!
PETER SPEAKS:
We are now in February, a time of love, groundhogs, not quite caring about college basketball, and Sweeps. That's right, Sweeps. Even with new television pretty much halted due to the Writer's Strike, we only need to listen to our local radio broadcasts to experience the thrills and chills of February Sweeps.
Who will hook up at long last? Who will break up suddenly? Who will participate in a giant fight? What kind of monsters will show up? Whose life will be in danger? And how many weddings could possibly take place on the island?
That last one is none, of course. Weddings happen during May Sweeps.
So tonight when you listen to the radio, have some popcorn... and hope you don't choke on it. That would be bad Sweeps.
SENIORITIS: AN INVESTIGATIVE EVENT IN SEVEN PARTS
PART I: WHAT IS SENIORITIS? THE DEFINITIVE DEFINITION
by Peter Parker
As a senior in my final semester before graduating, I find myself having to fight off the tragic illness known as Senioritis. Victims of Senioritis often find themselves slacking off, phoning it in, and just plain not doing the work they need to do because they just can't bring themselves to care anymore.
I need a nap, so that's all for this week. I had more I wanted to write, but nap wins. Come back next week for Part II: Something I'll Make Up About 5 Minutes Before Printing The Paper Out.
LEARN TO SPEAK AL BHED
By Rikku
Welcome back to another year of Learn to Speak Al Bhed! For any people who are new (HI!) I have this column where I teach people Al Bhed. That's the language of my people, who are also the Al Bhed. Doesn't that sound fun? Here we go!
Hello! How are you? My name is ________.
Rammu! Ruf yna oui? So hysa ec ________.
[Just repeating an old classic!!]
I (don't) like all of my classes this year!
E (tu hud) mega ymm uv so lmyccac drec oayn!
[You can pick either one!]
I wish it were not so cold outside.
E fecr ed fana hud cu lumt uidceta.
[I grew up in the desert, okay??]
Boys are very strange.
Puoc yna jano cdnyhka.
[THEY ARE! Okay, okay, in the interests of being fair: if you really think girls are the ones who are strange, replace "puoc" with "kenmc."]
I hope all of you enjoy learning to speak Al Bhed!
E ruba ymm uv oui ahzuo maynhehk du cbayg Al Bhed!
That's it! Isn't it easy? If you want to try out any of these, just find me and say Hi or something! The pronunciation isn't that hard, honest, and I miss hearing Al Bhed! Caa oui haqd faag! (see you next week!)
The Fine Print
By Peter Parker
Next Week on Fandom High: Drama! Intrigue! Someone may be pregnant!
Coffee Pin-Up
The coffee cup is empty! Is this the end of the coffee pin-up?!
credits:
editor: Peter Parker
words: Peter Parker, Rikku
pictures: The fabulous Chloe Sullivan, the amazing Rory Gilmore, the modest Peter Parker
adviser: Steve Rogers
Questions? Comments? Complaints? Send a letter to the editor: letters.fhightimes@fandomhigh.edu