THE FANDOM HIGHTIMES: FIFTH ISSUE!
RORY PETER SPEAKS:
Here in Fandom, we have been presented with a gravely serious threat, the likes of which have gone almost entirely unnoticed by even the most observant student. That threat is pickles.
When you order a sandwich, what comes individually wrapped, too high and mighty to mingle with the other ingredients? Pickles.
Of all the vegetables we eat, what's the only one to come packaged in a jar with something called "brine"? Pickles.
It is a vegetable, right? I'm pretty sure. But I'm not positive. What food is devious enough to make me doubt this? Pickles.
What is another name for one of the most boneheaded offensive situations in baseball, the rundown? Pickle.
The esteemed leader of our newspaper, Cap'n Rory Gilmore, has no column this week. I can only assume that a pickle is to blame for this.
So remember, Fandom, watch out for pickles. If we're not careful with these vile things, we'll be in a pickle.
PHOEBE SPEAKS:
There are few things in the world that can serve to educate you quite like a field trip -- whether you plan on it doing so, or not.
Dr. Wilson and Professor Aziraphale decided to give their students some extra learning for their classes by taking them to Las Vegas over the weekend last week.
I'm sure that must have also been quite a learning experience for the two professors.
While a good time was had by all, I'm not so sure the learning experiences were quite what we expected. Of course, I spent the weekend comparing Vegas to the weirdness that is Fandom. At least here, our psychics are real and they don't vacillate between the completely vague and the downright disturbing.
The shows we took in as part of our assignments were entertaining and Penn and Teller have some interesting opinions and disbeliefs about things that are day to day occurrences for us here in Fandom.
That brings me to the one main thing I realized while away in Vegas.
Be it ever so humble, cracktastic, and bizarre, there's no place like Fandom.
There's no place like home.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving, Fandom!
Kappa Kappa Gremlin: Pizza and Poker for Manly Men
by Angela Chase
The XY-chromosomed members of Fandom's student body have had a new club option this fall -- fraternity Kappa Kappa Gremlin.
According to the club head, junior Seely Booth, frat activities include "the usual stuff, pizza, poker, movies, talking about girls." He was closed-mouth about specifics and would not let this reporter attend a meeting even though I kind of begged. "Guys need to know they can talk about their secret men's business without anyone blabbing," Seely explained.
The club, still accepting new members, operates under the watchful eye of Professor Darth Vader, who Seely describes as "kind of the strong silent type," implying he understands what frequent escort V sees in him. The club's future plans include several things, some of which involve girls. We wish KKG, Vader and V many more years of manly bliss.
SHIPPING NEWS
by Phoebe Halliwell
My God, you people have been busy in the last couple of weeks, haven't you? According to the notes that I have, a lot of you have hooked up... if only for a one time deal.
You do realize that it would be easier to talk about the people who are not shippy, right?
Of course, that would not be nearly as much fun.
Willow and English Peter have definitely been making with the cute and adorable. Her roommate, Marie, and Jaime are also still making with the cute. (I did tell him that the best way to make the campus beautiful was to keep making her smile.)
I think I am just going to make a list of all of you couples because, frankly, coming up with the cool comments for each of you would kill my brain.
In the Cuteness Olympics, we still have Nadia and Walter, as well As Pippi and Pip. I think this is a very good thing.
Isabel and Greg are still in the running, as are Joxer and Kaylee, Marty and Angela, Cole and Phoebe, Jack and Sam, Jack and Cedric ... and there are a lot of you people being cute this time, isn't there?
Cally and Mac are adorable, and so are Bridgey and Rory (Yay!). There has also apparently been cuteness with John and Aeryn, and Anderds and Cole are NOT cute, no matter what the squirrels seem to think they should be telling people. However, Blair and River are still very cute together.
Also, I am not reading the last couple of names on this list of couples and cuteness because I happen to want to stay in one piece and not bleed.
Have a good break, people, and I'll see you next time.
Coffee Pin-Up
credits:
editor: Rory Gilmore
words: Angela Chase, Phoebe Halliwell, Peter Parker
pictures: The fabulous Chloe Sullivan and the magnificent Google
coffee pin-up: http://www.topmeadow.net/bwm/images/2003/20030810-large-latte.jpg
[MASSIVE apologies for the lateness. My computer apparently hates my fake paper.]