Its a long one....
It’s now 5:20 in the morning. And I can’t seem to sleep. Well that’s a lie I could very much crawl into my bed and sleep. But I don’t want too. Too much has been happening in my dreams and I haven’t very much liked that.
I really hate depression. Especially the ones I cause on myself when I have milk products. Yah there’s a side effect you didn’t see coming. Not only does it try to kill me it makes me depressed. And once I cleanse my system of the milk the depression stays. I haven’t been able to figure out how to get rid of it. It sucks big time.
I still have it even though I’ve had one of the best weeks this year. (minus my weekend in Rochester with my DYC kids) Lets see how this week started off with, Monday I find out I’ve passed physics with a C and I don’t need to take the final. That was such a God send. Then Monday night I hung out with the guys from my Discrete Math class which was awesome. Then Tuesday I got to be lazy for the morning. Then That night I watched my God-Daughter for a couple hours so her mommy and daddy could go have some fun cause God knows they needed it lol. Wednesday comes along and I get my last paper back from English I got a C on that and that means I passed English, yay. So that means I was then done with school for this semester and hopefully for a while. Then Wednesday night I went up to Ithaca to hear my good friend Mary sing for school (which was pretty good, PS good job Mary). Afterwards I was like I need to drink violently and so I hooked up with some friends I knew was up there and I hit the bars for a while. Then Thursday comes along and I was supposed to meet a bunch of friends at Flashbacks, well all but one of them dropped out but I had planned on going anyways so I went and hung out by myself (while I waited for my friend to get there). But in the mean time I ran into some guys I swam with in high school and then I got pulled onto the dance floor and had an awesome time dancing with a pretty cute girl. (That had to be the best part of the whole week). =) Then Friday I slept till 10 and just laid in bed/slept till noon. Where I got up and rand some errands then spent the rest of the day with my family, helped my dad out on some robotics programming he was working on (I love being a Genius =)) I helped him figure out the problem he was having. It was really good to hang out with my family when we aren’t all in pissy moods and arguing. Then I went to happy gregs house and played PS3 mmm soo hot lol. And now I’m here doing this.
Yah I had a great week and I’m happy but I’m empty all at the same time. Yah yah yah I’m being EMO. So STFU I was EMO before there was a term for it and ppl were all like ohhh lets be EMO and cut ourselves. Why don’t you all go cut your self’s the way it counts up the arm and stop making me look bad jeeze. Yah also I got some anger issues built up. I pissed at my house mate cause hes a huge asshole sometimes. Hes all like the girls throw themselves at me and so I can go out with a different one each night and not care how that makes the others feel when they like him and hes off with others. God stick to like one girl at a time. Douche. Its hard enough for some of us to even meet one, its guys like you that make it harder for nice guys like me.
Some days its really hard not to Kill everybody and I mean everybody. All I have to do is go push that lever and everything will end. But then again its friends that make some of it worth it.
I really need to start swimming again. That was a good release of everything. I could actually think straight and have conversations with ppl instead of getting lost in the ADHD. And now I’m just rambling, I think that’s enough for one night.
I really hate depression. Especially the ones I cause on myself when I have milk products. Yah there’s a side effect you didn’t see coming. Not only does it try to kill me it makes me depressed. And once I cleanse my system of the milk the depression stays. I haven’t been able to figure out how to get rid of it. It sucks big time.
I still have it even though I’ve had one of the best weeks this year. (minus my weekend in Rochester with my DYC kids) Lets see how this week started off with, Monday I find out I’ve passed physics with a C and I don’t need to take the final. That was such a God send. Then Monday night I hung out with the guys from my Discrete Math class which was awesome. Then Tuesday I got to be lazy for the morning. Then That night I watched my God-Daughter for a couple hours so her mommy and daddy could go have some fun cause God knows they needed it lol. Wednesday comes along and I get my last paper back from English I got a C on that and that means I passed English, yay. So that means I was then done with school for this semester and hopefully for a while. Then Wednesday night I went up to Ithaca to hear my good friend Mary sing for school (which was pretty good, PS good job Mary). Afterwards I was like I need to drink violently and so I hooked up with some friends I knew was up there and I hit the bars for a while. Then Thursday comes along and I was supposed to meet a bunch of friends at Flashbacks, well all but one of them dropped out but I had planned on going anyways so I went and hung out by myself (while I waited for my friend to get there). But in the mean time I ran into some guys I swam with in high school and then I got pulled onto the dance floor and had an awesome time dancing with a pretty cute girl. (That had to be the best part of the whole week). =) Then Friday I slept till 10 and just laid in bed/slept till noon. Where I got up and rand some errands then spent the rest of the day with my family, helped my dad out on some robotics programming he was working on (I love being a Genius =)) I helped him figure out the problem he was having. It was really good to hang out with my family when we aren’t all in pissy moods and arguing. Then I went to happy gregs house and played PS3 mmm soo hot lol. And now I’m here doing this.
Yah I had a great week and I’m happy but I’m empty all at the same time. Yah yah yah I’m being EMO. So STFU I was EMO before there was a term for it and ppl were all like ohhh lets be EMO and cut ourselves. Why don’t you all go cut your self’s the way it counts up the arm and stop making me look bad jeeze. Yah also I got some anger issues built up. I pissed at my house mate cause hes a huge asshole sometimes. Hes all like the girls throw themselves at me and so I can go out with a different one each night and not care how that makes the others feel when they like him and hes off with others. God stick to like one girl at a time. Douche. Its hard enough for some of us to even meet one, its guys like you that make it harder for nice guys like me.
Some days its really hard not to Kill everybody and I mean everybody. All I have to do is go push that lever and everything will end. But then again its friends that make some of it worth it.
I really need to start swimming again. That was a good release of everything. I could actually think straight and have conversations with ppl instead of getting lost in the ADHD. And now I’m just rambling, I think that’s enough for one night.