(no subject)
So today I just studied for exams and stuff. Almost died trying to get a precalc book...wow precalc just so wasnt worth it. Good thing I got to spend those ten whole minutes with Josh before i got kicked out of his house.
you have no idea how much you've changed me
you gave me reasons to smile, thoughts to think,
kisses to dream about, but most of all
you gave me memories to never forget
I saw that on Stephs profile and i thought it was really cute. Anyway...
So nothing good you do is ever really selfless is it? Like when you are nice to someone, you expect them to be nice back, and if they are nice back it will make you feel better. And when you do someone a favor, you would expect them to do it back right? So how is being nice ever truly selfless? Maybe we're all just really selfish people who dont realize that. Or maybe everyone is so selfish no one thinks they are. This is so random but hey I just realized how bad it feels to do nice stuff for people and never get anything back out of it. It even ends up being an inconvenience sometimes. And then I started wondering why I was upset, and I guess its because I felt like when you pour your heart out to someone or when you tell them something really important to you they could say something back that made you feel as good as they were feeling right then instead of just shrugging it off. But now I feel all guilty for expecting that. I just wish I was as much a priority for certain people as I make them for myself. I mean its not a big deal at all theres always love there and my friends are amazing. Ok so that made no sense, but hey Im weird ill admit it. Its a journal what do you want from me. Dont think too much about that one, youll get confused.
So Dana now you know that you arent the only one who thinks too hard...and I must say this is brilliant, this is why you are such a great mom (and friend): "friends, i've discovered, are far more complicated than boys. with boys, they like you or they don't. with friends, the whole thing is just one big gray area. do i feel comfortable enough with this person to ask them what is wrong? usually, the answer is no. can i invite myself over to their house? when is it too much information? friendly etiquette is steeped in contradiction and confusion, and, frankly, i don't understand any of it."
Sorry for being an ass sometimes, I wish I didnt upset you so much.
you have no idea how much you've changed me
you gave me reasons to smile, thoughts to think,
kisses to dream about, but most of all
you gave me memories to never forget
I saw that on Stephs profile and i thought it was really cute. Anyway...
So nothing good you do is ever really selfless is it? Like when you are nice to someone, you expect them to be nice back, and if they are nice back it will make you feel better. And when you do someone a favor, you would expect them to do it back right? So how is being nice ever truly selfless? Maybe we're all just really selfish people who dont realize that. Or maybe everyone is so selfish no one thinks they are. This is so random but hey I just realized how bad it feels to do nice stuff for people and never get anything back out of it. It even ends up being an inconvenience sometimes. And then I started wondering why I was upset, and I guess its because I felt like when you pour your heart out to someone or when you tell them something really important to you they could say something back that made you feel as good as they were feeling right then instead of just shrugging it off. But now I feel all guilty for expecting that. I just wish I was as much a priority for certain people as I make them for myself. I mean its not a big deal at all theres always love there and my friends are amazing. Ok so that made no sense, but hey Im weird ill admit it. Its a journal what do you want from me. Dont think too much about that one, youll get confused.
So Dana now you know that you arent the only one who thinks too hard...and I must say this is brilliant, this is why you are such a great mom (and friend): "friends, i've discovered, are far more complicated than boys. with boys, they like you or they don't. with friends, the whole thing is just one big gray area. do i feel comfortable enough with this person to ask them what is wrong? usually, the answer is no. can i invite myself over to their house? when is it too much information? friendly etiquette is steeped in contradiction and confusion, and, frankly, i don't understand any of it."
Sorry for being an ass sometimes, I wish I didnt upset you so much.