And the other thing to do while you're in Vegas..
(OOC: Prior to this arc, Our Heros were playing drinking games in their room, crabbing about how everyone at school seems to have paired up with someone. That part may or may not actually get rp'd. It is, however, agreed upon by the players to have happened. This entire arc was pre-played before the holidays.)
Duce takes another long gulp of her vodka sour and sighs, pouting her bottom lip. "Everyone's getting makeout time but me. I get no love."
Faith raised an eyebrow. "Really, Duce, I'm sitting right here, all lonely, and you're complaining about a lack of makeoutness?" She shakes her head. "Crazytalk."
Jonathan sits there sipping a vodka and tonic, he doesn't say anything, just watches the two of them intently. It's not staring though
"I am sooo not taking advantage of the joke-proposal you offered on the radio," Duce says with a laugh, taking another drink, "See this? Me not doing that. Cuz it was a joke, and that'd be really unfair of me." Duce sits on the hand not holding her drink.
Faith gasps in mock-offence. "Wasn't joking," she almost-slurs. "I'm a hundred percent ready and willing to marry you." Giggling, she stands up, only to plop to her knees in front of Duce. "Marry me?" she says, theatrically, throwing her arms out.
Jonathan watches the exchange, smiling, "You guys could you know. I mean, we're what? a minutes walk from a bevy of 24 hour chapels
Duce takes another really long drink of her vodka sour, and then giggles. "Oh, darling! Did you hear!? We could run away tonight! By morning, you could be Mrs. Medusa St. Clair!"
Faith laughs again. "Let's go! " she says, attempting to jump to her feet, but managing more of a stagger.
"You need help?" Jonathan asks, "I mean, you'll need a witness right, I could witness." The smile he wears is huge as he moves to steady Faith
"Oh?" Duce drawls at Jonathan, reclining slightly on the couch and throwing the hand she was sitting on over the arm, "You'd like to.. witness.. ?" She purrs at Faith, "Honey? He wants to watch."
Faith grins widely. "You wanna watch, Johnny?" she says, stepping closer to Duce. "We didn't even get to the fun part yet."
Jonathan laughs blushing, "Well if you two are offering I'm not turnign it down," he says, "but I was actually refferring to your upcoming nuptials."
Duce sips her drink, looking up at Faith with frank curiousity. "Would you? The fun part?" Duce adds virtuously, "Cuz you'd totally have to marry me then. Spoiled goods, and all that. My precious virginity, taken!" She sips again. "Daddy would be appalled."
Faith giggles. "Of course, I'm always up for fun." She thinks for a moment. "So this would be, like... strings attached? That's a new for me."
"Not that I'm saying no, or anything." She nods, a lot. "I'm totally saying yes. I'm stealing your virtue, and all."
"So, will I be privy to the virtue stealing or just the nuptial part?" he asks smiling, "because i'm up for either. or even both."
Tilting her head and smiling at face, finger idly tracing the rim of her glass, "You'd be ok with strings? Hm." She giggles, "Then I should think some up, huh?" She takes a sip and then sits bolt upright, "No sex with Paige. Cuz she's icky and I don't like her." After a moment, she adds, "Beka too. Cuz she's doing that thing with Buffy and.. that's just not on." Turning to regard Jonathan, she smirks."Your proclivities truly know no bounds, do they? I approve. However, on our wedding night," Duce says fiercely, "she's MINE!"
Taking another sip, she shakes her head, "Can't think of any other strings, Faith. You got any?"
"Hm," Faith thought aloud. "I've actually got nothing. Oh! No Buffy, not that I'd need to tell you that. She's pretty much the definition of the stupid and I hate her."
"Beyond that, I'm good. And I'm all for Johnny watching, but not on the wedding night. That's sacred, and all."
"Sacred, right I understand completely," he tells then, "But there will be watching for me at some point, right?"
Duce makes a face at the mention of Buffy, and she slurs, "She's blonde. Don't like blondes. And she's doing creepy slave stuff with Beka. Don't like creepy slaves, too. Slavery," she intones seriously, "is an art form. But for that, it takes a good mistress and Beka? Lacks." She sips her drink and smiles lazily at Jonathan, trying not to laugh. "Is that your price for being our witness?"
Faith laughs a little, and then feels the need to lean on the couch to steady herself. Pointing at Duce, she sputters out, "You're drunk, babe."
"Well, I need to get something out of this right? I'm sure you'd feel just awful if you took advantage of my young, impressionable self," he grins to Duce.
"'mnot drung.. drunk!" Duce protests, taking another drink just to prove it. "Only had.. three? No, 'nother number. Five? Yeah. Five. So, not drunk." She nods, as if that makes perfect sense. Then she smirks again, "Cuz if I was drunk? Someone would be taking advantages.. advantaGE of me. And noone is. See? Logic." She taps the side of her head with a finger. Spluttering into giggles at Jonathan's statement, she drawls, "Yesh, would feel .. something.. yeah. But not awful, prob'ly."
Faith nods. "Of course. I'm pretty sure noone's doing any taking advantage here. Cause, cause none of us are drunk'r anything."
She grins, and has a swig of her own drink, which is a classic 'as much Bacardi as I can stand mixed in with an itty bit of Coke'. "B'sides, we're all friends here. Super good friends." She winks at Jonathan. "I think you'd be feeling something, sweetie. In the very best of ways, of course."
"Oh the best," Jonathan assures her, he's only had the one drink, a legitimately mixed drink and as such is the most sober person in the room, "and of course, no advantage taking. Unless you and Duce agree on some nefarious plan for how to use and abuse my nubile young body of course," he tells them winking back at Faith
Giggling, Duce chirps, "Superfriends!" She drains the last of her drink and goes to put the cup on the end table, and oh so carefully sets it down.. about 2" from the tabletop. It lands on the floor and rolls under the couch. Duce reaches for it and loses her balance, tumbling off the couch completely to land on her back. "Oof! Ow! Still not drunk!" She declares. "Wherzis .. marry thing again, Jonathan? Close?"
Faith, still giggling, sits on the floor. "Bet you you can't walk there. Bet you Jon-Jon over there can't find it. Pft!" she says, waving her hand and taking another drink. "You all're lightweights. I could fight a hunnerd vamps right now, and you two're all drunk."
"Yeah Duce, it's very nearby," he says and rolls his eyes at Faith, "We can't all have such a hearty Slayer constitution can we?" he asks.
He should have figured Faith would be the kind of drunk that admantly refused to admit to being drunk
"Don't havesha.. have.. to.. walk," Duce slurs smugly, "Could slither, if I wanned to." She frowns a little, "But might scare people. Scaring's bash.. bad.. luck.. for weddings." She nods, and rocks forward to sit upright, "So.. walking. I have feet somewhere."
"Scaring is totally a bad," Faith agrees, eyes wide. "Then we might scare the married-er away. And we need them." She tried to stand up.
"This, see, it's hard," she pouted, finally managing to pull herself up. "Damn uneven gravity-y floor!"
"And here I was thinking Angelus spent extra in hopes you'd like them," Jonahan tells Faith, "Do either of you need any help or should I just grab some one's wallet and head for the door?"
Duce giggles, trying to stand and failing. Waving her hands at Jonathan, she commands, "Help!" and a moment later, "Please." Giggling again, she shakes her head, "Can' have my wallet. 'msittin on it."
Faith laughs. "Don' be silly. You don't get money unless the sex is super good. And," she adds, smirking, "Duce and me are gettin married, so none of that on the wedding night."
She tries to snap her fingers, but fails. "Damn. We should have had a bachelorette party. Would have been fun."
"I suppose I could strip for you if you really had your hearts set on it," he says, "I mean, you've got the 'get fantastically drunk' part covered for sure."
He heads over to Duce and helps her up from the floor by the couch. " I was refferring to the wallet in terms of payment for the ceremony? Newest fad from Europe, it's called money and lately everyone's been asking for it in return for goods and services"
"'mnot drungnk," Duce protests automatically, bursting into giggles. "Saw strippers earlier, an' you don't smell all gay like 'em. Honey?" She tilts her face up to Faith, as Jonathan hauls her to her feet, "Strip him first or get hitched first and then make him strip?" She gives a startled, "Oh!" as Jonathan explains the money thing, "Have money," she says confidently.
Faith nods in agreement with Duce. "Not drunk either. An I have sommoney." She looked from Jonathan to Duce, and back again.
"Let's go, and then get him naked. When we come back. Not when we get married," she says, bursting into giggles at the thought.
"So we are going," he asks trying to lead Duce towards the door, "And I'm possibly getting naked at some indeterminate point? Well, I love a good plan," he says.
"Faith are you coming with us or is Duce going to be stood up at the alter?"
"She's not coming yet!" Duce laughs, falling against Jonathan's shoulder, "Not even married yet! An' she'll be there," she states confidently, wrinkling her nose, "Cuz otherwise'd haveta marry you."
"An'.. then she'd be sad." Duce frowns, "No making Faith sad. 'Nother string."
Faith snickered, shuffling towards the door. "'m coming! Now and later, of course. And thas a very good string," she said, nodding. "Don' like being sad. Not a fun."
Opening the door, she did a sort of strange, hopping movement. "I can tapdance! Let's go!"
"You realize you're both extremely lucky that no one would ever believe me if I told them what went on here tonight, right? Because I'd be laughed out of school for relating this story," he says laughing himself. "Onward and upward ladies, time for you two to get hitched!"
Duce giggles and throws an arm around Jonathan's shoulder, throwing her other arm around Faith's waist. "We're off to see the wizaaarrdd.. " She half-walks/is half dragged, out into the hall.
"Silly Johnny!" Faith says, as they head down the hallway. "You can tell everyone and they'll know it's true. Cause I'm totally telling everyone. Ever. Eryoneever."
She tries to skip along with Duce's song, but fails miserably. "Wonnerful wizard of Oz," she mutters.
He leads Faith and half carries Duce the 3 1/2 blocks to the nearest of the 24 hour chapels, smiling at every person that passes them and gives him dirty looks.
'Just out for a stroll folks, ignore the two completely smashed girls following me around, nothing to see.'
"Why do they think I'm mugging you guys or something?" he asks just as the reach 'The 24 Hour Hunka Burnin' Love Chapel'.
"'scuz you're aboy out with two women late at night an' can't be up to no good," Duce says, nodding sagely. "Oh! Elvis!" She stares at the building and bursts into giggles.
"I don't have a dress," she says suddenly, frowning. "Faith too."
"Psh!" Faith spits out. "Hate dresses. Don' like wearing them. Can't doooo anything in a dress." She giggles. "Well, you can have easy sex. But that's not the kind of talk at a wedding. Specially not one with the King"
She nods. "When I was little, I totally dreamed of this wedding."
Jonathan doesn't mention how sad that really is, he doesn't, "I think, if you really want one, they can provide one?" he says, not entirely certain
They step inside and a muzack version of Heartbreak Hotel assaults them. An Elvis impersonator makes his way towards them and if Jonathan isn't misunderstanding what the hell is going on, There is something truly off about that Elvis and that's Chewbacca weird, not 'what the hell is an emocoma' weird, "What the hell?" he asks
Duce looks around the chapel, still giggling. When Elvis comes toward them, she freezes a moment, and her snakes fixate on him. "Jonathan.. " she slurs. "'snot Elvis." The Elvis impersonator steps towards them with a patently false smile, "Heya, whut'a kin I do for ya, young fella? Which one'a these pretty ladies is the lucky gal?" His teeth glint and he does a minor hipswivel, "A-hubba hubba!"
Faith stares at Elvis. "Don't be silly. He's here to enenrtain us later. We-" she gestures at Duce, "are getting married." She smiles happily at him, if a bit drunkenly.
She peers closely at him. "You're not really Elvis, are you?" Not!Elvis glares, taking a step away from the group. "What're y'all up to? Tryin' ta play a trick on the King?"
Jonathan isn't sure what the hell is going on, but he's beginning to beleive what Faith had said earlier, about being able to still slay vampire butt despite being so sloshed.
Looking over at Faith Jonathan asks, "should I be ducking?"
Duce watches Elvis intently, muttering, "Not human." She stands up straight, only swaying slightly, and says decisively, "Don' care. 'm marrying Faith, right now. You," she points an imperious finger at the King, "are gonna marry us. Yes." She nods. Elvis takes another step back, "Hey, ha ha, the little lady's quite a joker, isn't she, bubba?" His eyes shift from side to side behind his pink-tinted glasses.
"You don't haveta duck," Duce pats Jonathan on the shoulder, "'Cuz he's'a play all nice an' marry me an' Faith."
Faith grins a toothy grin. "Course he's gonna marry us. He knows s'not good to make violent people sad. Cause he's smart like that, right King?" Elvis shook his head, backing away from the kids.
"What the hell's going on?" he said, losing the accent. "Is this some kinda trick?" Faith nodded. "Yep. You're not really Elvis. And I'm... I'm not this polite. So come marry me and Duce."
She smiles sweetly. "Otherwise? You won't have as much fun. Promise."
Jonathan's not so far removed from being a normal guy that having to hide behind the girls' skirts didn't hurt his pride a little. However, he always said he preferred to be the man with the hurt pride, rather than the man with a shattered skull because he was to much of a macho asshole to let anyone help him out he gladly waited in the background for Duce and Faith to have their conversation with the 'man', well, not to far in the background seeing as he had to hold Duce up a bit, but still, away from the main action.
"Faith, he's moving /away/," Duce complains, "How'z he s'posed'a marry us if he's.." She waves a hand, then grabs back onto Jonathan's shoulder to keep from pitching forward, "all over there?" She sternly says, "You come here right now!" to Elvis. Elvis doesn't comply. He turns to bug out, muttering, "Fucking kids and their jokes.."
Faith turns to Duce. "Una-unacceptable." She bounds towards Elvis, pulling him into the room and shoving him against a wall. "Don't even try to be funny. You? Marry us, or get beat up by the cool slayer."
Elvis stares at her. "What in the hell- let me go," he snarls, trying to get out of her grip. Faith giggles maniacally. "I don't think that'd get me married, would it?" she asks, tightening her grip.
Jonathan's quietly cheering from his place next to Duce, "So I have to tell you," he says leaning towards her, maintaining a safe distance from the snakes but not really noticing them aside from that, "Your wife to be is totally going to kick that guys ass, and then she'lls till make him marry you two," he giggles slightly, "How hardcore of a wedding present is that?"
Duce beams at Faith and crows, "She loves me." and then she pouts, "Jonathan? Why'n't he marrying us?"
"This's marrying place. We're marry-ing. He's buggin'. Don' get it." she nods, "Faith should hit him if he says no."
Faith looks over her shoulder to grin at Duce, and turns to Elvis. "That's my fiance," she says happily. "So, when're you gonna marry us? Cause she wants me to hit you, and I don't say no to much."
"I'm not marrying you. For the last time, let go of me, and leave," Elvis says, in a misguided attempt at bravery. Faith nearly giggles. "See, that was just dumb," she says as she lands a hard punch to his face.
"Go Faith!" Jonathan calls out to her. To Duce he says, "So, what are you guys going to do for rings when this guy caves and marries you?"
Duce stares at Jonathan as though he's the most brilliant creature on earth. "Ohshit." She frowns, thinking, and then nods, "He's got rings on. Lots'a rings. He'll give us some." She nods again, firmly. "Won't you?" she calls to Elvis.
The King is still reeling from the facepunch, lip split and bleeding, "You kids are fucking crazy!" he shrills, struggling to get away from Faith. Duce's voice turns cold, "That," she says, "was the wrong answer."
"Pretty much the wrongest answer ever," Faith says, nodding. She grinned. "But it's okay, cause I get to hit you till you get the right answer." She does just that, adding an extra few punches for good measure.
"Here's a hint. The answer is 'yes, Faith, I will marry you to Duce. And I've got rings ya'll can use'. And then you marry us."
"The lady can litterally keep this up all night," jonathan interjects, trying to talk some sense into the... 'thing', "I mean, maybe you think you're tough enough but no way, it's not happening.
She's going to school you and the way I see it, you can give in now and save yourself a lot of pain, or you can keep it up and loose most of your teeth. Choice is yours!
Duce purrs as Faith beats on Elvis, murmurring, "I love it when she does that. It gives me a happy," She wriggles against Jonathan like a kitten. Addressing Elvis with a frown, she says, "You're not making Faith very happy. This is sh.. supposed'ta be the happiest day of our lives."
Elvis nearly screams in desperation, "I can't marry you! You're just kids! There are laws against that!" He flinches, expecting to be hit. Duce brightens, "Oh! Tha's'ok. 'mnot a child. 'mancipated." Digging in her pocket, she removes her wallet and peers into it intently, flipping through various cards until she finds a small laminated one. Waving it triumphantly, she says, "Here it ish. Is. E-man-cip-ated minor waiver."
Faith giggled again. "See, my wife to be is smart. And, see?" she digs through her pockets, coming up with a driver's license. "M'eighteen."
Of course, it's a forgery- the year of birth has clearly been changed from an 8 to a 7- but it's passable. Elvis sighs. "Fine, fine! I'll marry you!" he growls out, standing up and brushing himself off.
"See?" Jonathan asks the room at large, "Did I not say he was going to be marrying you two anyway? Some people, they just don't know what's in their best interest."
"I'm witnessing," he tells the man, pulling out his own fake ID, it's passable, but not terribly good, god knows no one ever really bothered checking on Gotham. "And what about those rings for the brides to be?"
The King grumbled and fiddled with his fingers. A slow, calculating smile twisted his broken lips. He pulled the rings from his pinkies, and Duce was happy to note they were plain gold bands. There appeared to be some sort of writing around the band, but she couldn't read the script. This could possibly be because the world would not. stop. spinning.
Jerking his slightly disheveled pompadour toward the chapel entrance, he grinned, "Got the rings right here, bubba. Come on then, let's a'mosey on down to the chapel and get these fine young ladies hitched!" Turning on one sequined heel, he did a jigstep and sauntered down the tacky red velvet carpet.
"Yay!" Faith says, doing a very bad skip after Elvis. "Who said violence didn't work? They totally lied to me." She starts to hum the wedding song, and adds a little dance move to every other skip.
"Plus? We totally got pretty rings out of this. Yay, we're getting married!"
"Da dum da dummmm, da dum da dummmm da dum da dumm dumm da dum dumm da dummmmm" Jonathan sings leading the girls into the chapel.
"Should I hold on to the rings?" he asks Fake!Elvis, while holding onto Duce's arm
Duce giggles and tries to bridestep, but stops when it causes her to stumble. Her snakes hiss. She tilts her head at the King as he speaks. "Allright, then y'all. You, miss, and you, miss, come stand before the King and hold hands." Duce takes a tottering step forward and windmills her arms, grabbing out for Faith's.. Jonathan's.. somebody's hand.
Faith's hand is grabbed by Duce, attempting to help steady her as they stand before the Elvis. "We're going with the short version. Do you take her as your wife?" he asked Faith, exasperated.
"Of course!" Faith said, grinning. "Wonderful. Do you take her as your...wife?" he asked Duce, disliking the repetition.
Jonathan helps Faith keep Duce steady. Off to the side he sees a little bowl of rice. He doubts fake Elvis is going to mind if he takes some for Duce and Faith, he doubts fake Elvis is going to mind much after the beating Faith gave him. Keeping one hand on Duce, cause he'd hate for her to fall on her wedding day, he reaches out and takes a few handfuls of rice, stowing it in his pocket to keep safe
Half leaning against Jonathan, Duce said in a very clear and sober voice, "Of course I do!" and apparently four words are as much as she can manage in sober-speak, because she promptly giggled and muttered something in ancient Greek. Looking at Jonathan, she tilted her head, trying to figure out what he was doing.
The King handed Faith the ring, a sneering smirk plastered across his face. Whether at some private joke or a more-than-usual pathetic imitation of Elvis' trademark sneer was hard to determine. "Place the ring on her finger and repeat after me, "With this ring, I thee wed. To keep and to hold, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do us part."
(Faith.. the woman they call Faiiiith.. She makes friends with the rich and she ignores the poor She beats up on Elvis til he can't take no more My love for her now ain't hard to explain The woman I'm marrying The woman they call Faith)
Faith places the ring on Duce's finger, needing several tries to get it on the right one. She manages to slur out a "witring iwed," before giggling and stopping, as if done.
Fake Elvis rolls his eyes. "That's as good as it's getting, isn't it?" With a sigh, he turns to Duce. "Repeat after me. 'With this ring, I thee wed. To keep and to hold, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do us part,'" he says, sneer deepening to a sad caricature of the King.
Jonathan stands there and listens. He's almost disappointed that he is in no way moved by the preceedings But the girls look happy, in a euphorically drunk kind of way. He waits for the girls to finish saying their vows,
Duce takes the ring and finally removes her other hand from Jonathan's shoulder. Taking Faith's wrist, she eyes the hand, and carefully puts the ring on the correct finger. Grinning as she gets it on the first try, she repeats, "With thish.. this.. ring.. I thee wed. To.." She frowns, "she's not a kept woman.. or maybe now.. yeah.. keep and to hold, for richer for poorer, in sickness.." She peers at Elvis. "No sickness. Don' wan' Faith t'get sick. .. and in health, til.. um.. well never, do us part."
As the second ring goes on, there's an arc of blue energy between them, causing Duce to shout, "HEY! ow!" More out of startlement than anything else. She scowls. Fake!Elvis' smirk grows and he does a little two-step jigshuffle hipswivel, "And a'hey, we got ourselves a marriage! You may now kiss the bride!"
Faith, not noticing the flash beyond 'Oo, shiny' grins. "Yay! The fun part!" She leans into Duce, kissing her firmly on the mouth.
Elvis grins. "Excellent. While you ladies, uh, finish up, I'm gonna head out- shift's over, and all. Buh-bye!" he says, and practically disappears out the door.
Jonathan reaches into his pocket and throws the rice over Faith and Duce
"I present to you, Mrs. and Mrs. Medusa St. Claire!" he yells
Duce giggles and kisses Faith back, half falling against her. "We're married," she says solemnly, before giggling again. Jonathan's pronouncement makes her laugh even harder, but then she stops abruptly and furrows her brow, "Hey, wait.. whozat make me then? Mrs. Faith who?"
Faith giggles back at her. "Mrs. Faith Lehane. It's all very cool. W're taking eacthrs names, then?" she slurs. Faith mimes writing a name in the air- or she could be landing a plane. "Mrs. St. Clair. I'm gonna have to remembererer that." She nods forcefully. "Cause, we're married and all."
"Do you need help getting back to the hotel Duce or is you wife going to carry you?" "I mean, she has to carry you over the threshold," he says wiping the few grains of rice left on his hands off on his pants
"DO you guys have to sign something?"
"Can walk!" Duce protested, taking a wobbly step. "'mnot drunk! 'm married!" She took another step, this one steadier. "Yeah.. certificate.."
Duce peers around for a marriage certificate, and grunts, not spotting one. She totters over to a desk and begins rifling through it, throwing the drawers when she's finished them.
Eventually she finds what she's looking for and waves it triumphantly. "Foun' it! But.. needs shis signatuture.." She then regards Jonathan, "An' you still haveta strip!"
Faith laughs at the flying drawers. "Don worry, 'm sure he'll come back. Probly just needs ta, like, get some hairgel or something." She nods. "Johnny, you've got to strip. It's the rules." She grins at him happily.
"I don't think he's coming back," Jonathan says, looking out towards where fake Elvis exited, "and okay, I'll strip, just for you guys."
"But can we maybe get back to the hotel or something first? It seems weird stripping in a chapel, even one covered in rhinestones and memorabilia," he says.
Duce shakes her head adamantly, "Gotta have it signed." She digs for a pen for a moment and scrawls her name rather sloppily. On the spot for 'Officiated By:', she switches the pen to her other hand, she writes neatly, "Elvis A. Presley". Giggling, she mutters, "Daddy's signature's harder'n'at." She waggles the pen at Faith. "You an' Jon too."
Pouting at Jon for a moment, she giggles. "No Liberace stripping? Aww."
Faith skips over to the desk, grinning like a fool. "I can sign m'name all by myself." She signs 'FATH LehANE' on the line in a big, third-grader script. "Beautiful. See? It's right by Elvis."
She giggles excitedly. "Elvis was here! And he was a demon! That's SO cool!" she says, hopping up and down.
Jonathan also picks up the pen and signs his name, Jonathan Crane, it's possible the swooping curves and arches he uses in his penmanship could be described as 'girly'. It's also possible many people have said so in the past.
"I'd be surprised if Elvis wasn't always a deon," Jonathan asks her, "And I would Duce, but I left my tear away pants back at the hotel," he adds with faux sheepishness.
"There's your licence," he tells them, handing it over to them, "You are officially married." He smiles as he hands it to them, cause it really is that funny.
"You've tear away pants?" Duce stares at him for a moment, tilting her head so her gaze can travel.. southward. "'ve seen you inna leather ones. But leather.. dun't tear so easily." She frowns. "Well, sorta."
Giggling, she takes the license and carefully folds it, tucking it into a pocket. "We're married, Faith!" she crows gleefully.
Faith raises an eyebrow. "You own tear away pants an brought them to Vegas? Johnny!" she says with a giant grin. "You're full of surprises."
Turning to Duce, she jumps up and down, giggling. "I'm maaaried! To Duuuuuce! Yaaaay!" Pausing, she looks around the chapel. "So, you guys ready to head back to the hotel? This place isn't as homey without the big E."
"This place wasn't as homey with the big E," Jonathan points out, not mentioning the fact that he was being sarcastic about the tear away pants, "And I am definately ready to head out, that Elvis head over there gives me the creeps," he says gesturing at a statue across the room and shuddreing.
"And what did you guys bring to Vegas? I was told tear away pants were a necessary item?"
"That statue makes you not happy?" Duce looks from the statue to Jonathan and back. Tottering over to it just a little unsteadily, she sighted, drew back, and punched the King right in his plaster pout. The head of the statue exploded, chunks of plaster littering the floor. Duce shook her hand with a plaintive, "Ow." before tottering back to Jonathan and Faith. Pouting, she held her bruised fist up, "Ow," she insisted. "Need stripping now. Hotel's good."
Faith looked from Duce to the Elvis-peices on the floor. "See? I knew you're the right girl fr me. You beat up Elvis!"
Belatedly realizing that Duce's hand hurt, she leaned over in an attempt to kiss it. Missing Duce's hand, Faith stumbled forward, laughing.
"Lesgo back to the hotel. Johnny can strip and we can be married," she says as she heads for the door of the chapel.
"I think you two are married regardless of whether or not I strip," Jonathan teases while heading for the door. On the street he waits for the girls to stumble outside before leading them towards the hotel.
"So ladies, when exactly am I going to be getting to watch?" he asks.
Duce follows Faith and Jonathan, smiling bemusedly. She calls out to random passers by, "Hey! 'm married!" which is met with various states of glances.
Shaking her head at Jonathan, she says, "Not tonight. Tonight we are the watching." She giggles, considering something, "But could be fun to make you watch .. " and adds sternly, "But no touching! MY Faith!" Leaning over, she hugs Faith around the waist.
Faith grins, leaning into Duce and wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "Totally. We're watching and not touching except you. Cause we're married!" She yells the last sentence of this, and starts to giggle.
"But we're totally married, for real, right? Cause Elvis was mad shady." She looks concerned for a moment. Finding her hand, she waves it around wildly. "We have rings! We're married f'real."
Jonathan watches them stumble down the street, humming 'Ladies Night' to himself. "Rings definately make it official," he says moving closer and picking up one of Duce's hands.
"What does this weird ass writing say on them?" he asks, running the tip of one finger over the inlaid design.
"We're for real married!" Duce insists to Faith, nodding. "Rings! An'.. an'.. Jonathan witnessed it, so yes." Peering at her hand in Jonathan's, she leans back against Faith's shoulder and shakes her head, "Dunno? 'sweird demon language're something. Not Greek, Latin, English or.. or Russian." She looks closer, "An' not Elvish."
Continuing to stagger down the street toward the hotel, linked with the other two, Duce shrugs, "Don' care. I say it's saying 'Faith and Medusa Are Married!'."
Faith looked closely at the ring. "Dunno. Should know, probly. Probly like, an apoca-apocalypsey warning. Or something important and demony." She rolls her eyes, not looking where she's going and staggering ahead blindly.
"Whatever. Don'do apocalypses. Just don't. Specially not on my wedding." She smiles at Duce. "I'ma go with your message. Best option." She nods.
"Between 'Faith and Medusa are married' and 'holy shit the world's going to end' I'll definately take the former over the latter," he says, placing an arm gently around Faith's shoulders and pulling her so that she was moving more towards the hotel than the street.
"And is that Elvish as in a language of elves or Elvish as in, the languafe of Elvis?" he asks
Duce shakes her head firmly, "World isn' gonna end." and then she giggles, "Someone's'a make the joke 'bout the horsemen, though. But then you'll hit 'em. Or I will. An' that's a fun too."
Stomping deliberately up the sidewalk toward the hotel, she laughs, "Elvisish! Could be. I thought the thing with the," she intones hollowly, "one ring to rule them all, one ring to fine 'em, one ring blah blah blah and in the darkness bind them' thing. Cuz it's dark." she explains.
The fountain of the Bellagio rises in front of them.
Faith looks very, very confused. "Elvis was an elf? Huh. Never hit an elf before. Thought it'd be more... glittery. And, yay!" she squeals, pointing at the hotel. "We're all home!"
"Well, not really home," she babbles as they walk into the hotel. "School's home, pretty much. I love school. We've got to send out a wedding announcement or something. So everyone knows. Cause we're damn awesome."
"Even more importantly, if you send out announcements you'll get stuff from people. Stuff, is the best reason to get married," he tells them opening the door to the hotel and leading them up. "Which floor were we on again?" he asks, hoping one of them remembers.
"Big damn party, Faith! Married people have parties and.." Duce says, and as Jonathan mentions marriage loot, nods sagely, "Presents. But mostly cuz we're MARRIED!" she yells down the hall, laughing. "And they'll all be jealous." She frowns at the doors. "Not this floor. Up. Sixth floor.. 617."
A porter gives them a dirty look as they go by. Duce sticks her tongue out at him. She adds again, "I like parties."
Finding the elevator, Duce stumbles inside with the other two and pushes the '6' button. The motion of the elevator and it's inertial stop on their floor causes her to stagger a step or two. "Whoa!" (done)
Faith bounces in the elevator. "Parties? We get parties? Hell yeah! Getting married was the best idea ever!" she says, stepping into the hallway. Looking around, she turns towards the other two. "I don't think I can count right now. Where's the room?"
Jonathan helps keep Duce steady on the ride up, he's pretty certain the hotel staff won't appreciate it if she looses her dinner right here. When they get out of the elevator he points them all in the direction of their room.
"That way," he says, pointing, completely forgetting to keep his voice down in case others on their floor were sleeping.
"I'll open the door for you guys, but you're gonna have to figure out who's carrying who over the threshold."
Duce, at 5'3, looks up at Faith. "I could, but you're taller," she says with a laugh. "An' I weigh less'n Logan's kitchen table." She frowns suddenly, "I think I do, anyway." Poking her tummy reflectively, she tenses it and nods. "Yup. Do." Fishing her card key out, she hands it in Jonathan's general direction. "Door?"
Faith grins. "Definitely lighter than a table. M'totally doing the carrying," she says, picking up Duce. "See? Threshold an carrying an ready f'r when John-boy gets the door open."
"B'sides," she says with a giggle. "The whole carrying thing's irre-re- not important. Cause we were here already. S'like living in sin!" Faith mock gasps.
Jonathan takes Duce's key-card and unlocks and opens the door. He hurries inside quickly, looking around for one of the cameras that were lying around earlier.
Spying a disposable one lying by the coffee table, he pickes it up winds it and aims it in Faith and Duce's direction.
"Ready when you are ladies," he says, snapping pictures as they enter.
Duce giggles as Faith sweeps her off her feet, throwing her arms around her wife's neck. She gasps in mock-shock as well, "Sin before the wedding!? Maybe we should go inna someone else's room then?" Considering that, she leans her forehead against Faith's temple and says, "Nah.. like this room best." Turning her face slightly, she beams at the camera as Faith carries her into the room. "Hi, Mom!"
Faith grins at Jonathan. "Aw! You're taking pictures to commemorate the big day. You're such a sweetie!" Her eyes grow misty, but she's totally not a crying drunk, so it stops there. "This has been the best night ever, guys!"
After entering the room, she heads towards the bed, and puts Duce down on it. Flopping down next to her, she grins and waves at Jonathan. "Dude, those pictures are gonna be so awesome when we try to prove this to people."
"That's me Faith, I'm all heart. A picture to comemorate your union is exactly what you two need. I mean, the wedding album is looking to be pretty small at this point," he says taking one more picture of them being cute lying on the bed together.
"So I guess I should leave you two alone for the big night right?" he asks, moving towards the door.
Duce laughs at all the pictures, "He thinks we're'a be 'mbarassed t'morrow. Nope. Won't." Duce shakes her head, snakes starting to get a little seasick from all this motion. "An'.. " she tilts her head at Faith, "In't he supposed to strip now? Or do we strip an' he strips later? I forgot who's watchin' who," she confesses.
Faith shrugs. "Not gon'be embarrassed. That'd be silly." Looking from Duce to Jonathan, she bites her lip, thinking. "I know there's stripping. And watching."
She looks at Jonathan, by the door. "M'pretty sure he's stripping now. Cause we get to watch. He said that, before. Least, I think he did."
"Do I get music or something?" he asks from his place in the doorway. Rubbing the back of his neck with one hand but grinning.
Rolling toward the nightstand, Duce procures the TV remote and flips through to one of the cable radio channels. She begins slowly flipping through them, "Lemme know when music's right?"
Faith grins, bouncing up and down on the edge of the bed. "Yay! Pick a good song!" Turning to Duce, she adds in what she thinks is a whisper, "This is totally better then the strip club. Those guys were icky." She looks Jonathan up and down. "See? Pretty."
Jonathan blushes a bit and has Duce stop the radio on something random and techno because the only other choice 'I'm Too Sexy' on the 80's station. He moves his hips in time to the beat while slowly taking off his shirt. Pulling it over his head he throws it onto the bed with the girls and does a body roll while rubbing his right hand down his chest and torso.
Duce cheers and applauds, grabbing the shirt and draping it over Faith's head like a scarf. "He's much, much prettier than the scary men earlier. An' he doesn't smell all gay. 's'a bonus. Pulling one of Faith's arms around her shoulders, she leans her head against Faith's bicep and makes herself comfortable for the show.
Faith grinned at Duce, and squirmed around until she got comfortable. "I have a hat now." She started applauding Jonathan and cheering him on. "Dude, you should totally do this more often. Y'r good, really. S'impressive," she says with a grin
When his hand reaches his jeans he hooks his thumb inside the waistband and does two groin thrusts to the beat followed by a roll of his hips.
He thumbs off the top button of his button fly jeans and tries to do the same thing to the next one. It's not as cooperative.
Trying to cover by bringing his left hand down his body and towards his groin he pouts like Duce tuaght him and uses two hands to open the rest of the buttons.
Duce idly runs her fingertips up and down Faith's forearm, watching Jonathan consideringly. "Faith, he's pouting at us. An' I think he looks a little bored, maybe. Should we make him not bored?" Her head tilts to one side, a small smirk playing at the corners of her mouth.
"Cuz when he did that in the fashion show, he had makeup on, and it was a good. Now he's got no makeup on an' it's pretty but am not sure it's a good."
"'specially seeing as, y'know, we're all newlywed and in a honeymooning mood n'all." Turning to Jonathan, she adds, "Are you bored? You wan'do something else?"
Jonathan's eyes widen and he stops pouting. Standing before the bed with his jeans undone he nods, "Something else could be fun," he says, "I'm pretty flexible when it comes to plans. And you know, other things."
Duce doesn't stop running her finger over Faith's arm. She shakes her head slightly, still smirking. "Oh, no.. you don' get to stop. But, you said you wan'ed to watch. So while you were stripping, I could be kissing Faith, cuz if I rolled over to straddle her hips, my snakes could still watch you, an' Faith could still see you. Oh," she says, as if thinking of something, "but then you'd haveta watch our hips all pressed together." She muses, "Suppose I could add some distance, keeping slightly off her lap, if I balanced myself .. maybe put one leg between hers, or ran my hands up under her shirt to hold on better." She watches Jonathan, and says in a lazy purr, "But then you'd be watching two women kissing, and I'm sure that's just no fun for you..their bodies all pressed together.."
Duce makes no move to actually do any of these things, just describing them while watching Jonathan.
Faith turns to Duce, open mouthed. "You've got a very good point. And, really, everyone wins. 'Specially cause, you know, everyone gets to look at something cool." She nods emphatically.
[Annnnd stealing from the Callynanders patented FTB: here you get to imagine Faith and Duce making out while Jonathan watches and probably amuses himself. Eventually, they kick him out, and the making out gets more serious. And then they both pass out, because they are drunk like whoa.]
Duce takes another long gulp of her vodka sour and sighs, pouting her bottom lip. "Everyone's getting makeout time but me. I get no love."
Faith raised an eyebrow. "Really, Duce, I'm sitting right here, all lonely, and you're complaining about a lack of makeoutness?" She shakes her head. "Crazytalk."
Jonathan sits there sipping a vodka and tonic, he doesn't say anything, just watches the two of them intently. It's not staring though
"I am sooo not taking advantage of the joke-proposal you offered on the radio," Duce says with a laugh, taking another drink, "See this? Me not doing that. Cuz it was a joke, and that'd be really unfair of me." Duce sits on the hand not holding her drink.
Faith gasps in mock-offence. "Wasn't joking," she almost-slurs. "I'm a hundred percent ready and willing to marry you." Giggling, she stands up, only to plop to her knees in front of Duce. "Marry me?" she says, theatrically, throwing her arms out.
Jonathan watches the exchange, smiling, "You guys could you know. I mean, we're what? a minutes walk from a bevy of 24 hour chapels
Duce takes another really long drink of her vodka sour, and then giggles. "Oh, darling! Did you hear!? We could run away tonight! By morning, you could be Mrs. Medusa St. Clair!"
Faith laughs again. "Let's go! " she says, attempting to jump to her feet, but managing more of a stagger.
"You need help?" Jonathan asks, "I mean, you'll need a witness right, I could witness." The smile he wears is huge as he moves to steady Faith
"Oh?" Duce drawls at Jonathan, reclining slightly on the couch and throwing the hand she was sitting on over the arm, "You'd like to.. witness.. ?" She purrs at Faith, "Honey? He wants to watch."
Faith grins widely. "You wanna watch, Johnny?" she says, stepping closer to Duce. "We didn't even get to the fun part yet."
Jonathan laughs blushing, "Well if you two are offering I'm not turnign it down," he says, "but I was actually refferring to your upcoming nuptials."
Duce sips her drink, looking up at Faith with frank curiousity. "Would you? The fun part?" Duce adds virtuously, "Cuz you'd totally have to marry me then. Spoiled goods, and all that. My precious virginity, taken!" She sips again. "Daddy would be appalled."
Faith giggles. "Of course, I'm always up for fun." She thinks for a moment. "So this would be, like... strings attached? That's a new for me."
"Not that I'm saying no, or anything." She nods, a lot. "I'm totally saying yes. I'm stealing your virtue, and all."
"So, will I be privy to the virtue stealing or just the nuptial part?" he asks smiling, "because i'm up for either. or even both."
Tilting her head and smiling at face, finger idly tracing the rim of her glass, "You'd be ok with strings? Hm." She giggles, "Then I should think some up, huh?" She takes a sip and then sits bolt upright, "No sex with Paige. Cuz she's icky and I don't like her." After a moment, she adds, "Beka too. Cuz she's doing that thing with Buffy and.. that's just not on." Turning to regard Jonathan, she smirks."Your proclivities truly know no bounds, do they? I approve. However, on our wedding night," Duce says fiercely, "she's MINE!"
Taking another sip, she shakes her head, "Can't think of any other strings, Faith. You got any?"
"Hm," Faith thought aloud. "I've actually got nothing. Oh! No Buffy, not that I'd need to tell you that. She's pretty much the definition of the stupid and I hate her."
"Beyond that, I'm good. And I'm all for Johnny watching, but not on the wedding night. That's sacred, and all."
"Sacred, right I understand completely," he tells then, "But there will be watching for me at some point, right?"
Duce makes a face at the mention of Buffy, and she slurs, "She's blonde. Don't like blondes. And she's doing creepy slave stuff with Beka. Don't like creepy slaves, too. Slavery," she intones seriously, "is an art form. But for that, it takes a good mistress and Beka? Lacks." She sips her drink and smiles lazily at Jonathan, trying not to laugh. "Is that your price for being our witness?"
Faith laughs a little, and then feels the need to lean on the couch to steady herself. Pointing at Duce, she sputters out, "You're drunk, babe."
"Well, I need to get something out of this right? I'm sure you'd feel just awful if you took advantage of my young, impressionable self," he grins to Duce.
"'mnot drung.. drunk!" Duce protests, taking another drink just to prove it. "Only had.. three? No, 'nother number. Five? Yeah. Five. So, not drunk." She nods, as if that makes perfect sense. Then she smirks again, "Cuz if I was drunk? Someone would be taking advantages.. advantaGE of me. And noone is. See? Logic." She taps the side of her head with a finger. Spluttering into giggles at Jonathan's statement, she drawls, "Yesh, would feel .. something.. yeah. But not awful, prob'ly."
Faith nods. "Of course. I'm pretty sure noone's doing any taking advantage here. Cause, cause none of us are drunk'r anything."
She grins, and has a swig of her own drink, which is a classic 'as much Bacardi as I can stand mixed in with an itty bit of Coke'. "B'sides, we're all friends here. Super good friends." She winks at Jonathan. "I think you'd be feeling something, sweetie. In the very best of ways, of course."
"Oh the best," Jonathan assures her, he's only had the one drink, a legitimately mixed drink and as such is the most sober person in the room, "and of course, no advantage taking. Unless you and Duce agree on some nefarious plan for how to use and abuse my nubile young body of course," he tells them winking back at Faith
Giggling, Duce chirps, "Superfriends!" She drains the last of her drink and goes to put the cup on the end table, and oh so carefully sets it down.. about 2" from the tabletop. It lands on the floor and rolls under the couch. Duce reaches for it and loses her balance, tumbling off the couch completely to land on her back. "Oof! Ow! Still not drunk!" She declares. "Wherzis .. marry thing again, Jonathan? Close?"
Faith, still giggling, sits on the floor. "Bet you you can't walk there. Bet you Jon-Jon over there can't find it. Pft!" she says, waving her hand and taking another drink. "You all're lightweights. I could fight a hunnerd vamps right now, and you two're all drunk."
"Yeah Duce, it's very nearby," he says and rolls his eyes at Faith, "We can't all have such a hearty Slayer constitution can we?" he asks.
He should have figured Faith would be the kind of drunk that admantly refused to admit to being drunk
"Don't havesha.. have.. to.. walk," Duce slurs smugly, "Could slither, if I wanned to." She frowns a little, "But might scare people. Scaring's bash.. bad.. luck.. for weddings." She nods, and rocks forward to sit upright, "So.. walking. I have feet somewhere."
"Scaring is totally a bad," Faith agrees, eyes wide. "Then we might scare the married-er away. And we need them." She tried to stand up.
"This, see, it's hard," she pouted, finally managing to pull herself up. "Damn uneven gravity-y floor!"
"And here I was thinking Angelus spent extra in hopes you'd like them," Jonahan tells Faith, "Do either of you need any help or should I just grab some one's wallet and head for the door?"
Duce giggles, trying to stand and failing. Waving her hands at Jonathan, she commands, "Help!" and a moment later, "Please." Giggling again, she shakes her head, "Can' have my wallet. 'msittin on it."
Faith laughs. "Don' be silly. You don't get money unless the sex is super good. And," she adds, smirking, "Duce and me are gettin married, so none of that on the wedding night."
She tries to snap her fingers, but fails. "Damn. We should have had a bachelorette party. Would have been fun."
"I suppose I could strip for you if you really had your hearts set on it," he says, "I mean, you've got the 'get fantastically drunk' part covered for sure."
He heads over to Duce and helps her up from the floor by the couch. " I was refferring to the wallet in terms of payment for the ceremony? Newest fad from Europe, it's called money and lately everyone's been asking for it in return for goods and services"
"'mnot drungnk," Duce protests automatically, bursting into giggles. "Saw strippers earlier, an' you don't smell all gay like 'em. Honey?" She tilts her face up to Faith, as Jonathan hauls her to her feet, "Strip him first or get hitched first and then make him strip?" She gives a startled, "Oh!" as Jonathan explains the money thing, "Have money," she says confidently.
Faith nods in agreement with Duce. "Not drunk either. An I have sommoney." She looked from Jonathan to Duce, and back again.
"Let's go, and then get him naked. When we come back. Not when we get married," she says, bursting into giggles at the thought.
"So we are going," he asks trying to lead Duce towards the door, "And I'm possibly getting naked at some indeterminate point? Well, I love a good plan," he says.
"Faith are you coming with us or is Duce going to be stood up at the alter?"
"She's not coming yet!" Duce laughs, falling against Jonathan's shoulder, "Not even married yet! An' she'll be there," she states confidently, wrinkling her nose, "Cuz otherwise'd haveta marry you."
"An'.. then she'd be sad." Duce frowns, "No making Faith sad. 'Nother string."
Faith snickered, shuffling towards the door. "'m coming! Now and later, of course. And thas a very good string," she said, nodding. "Don' like being sad. Not a fun."
Opening the door, she did a sort of strange, hopping movement. "I can tapdance! Let's go!"
"You realize you're both extremely lucky that no one would ever believe me if I told them what went on here tonight, right? Because I'd be laughed out of school for relating this story," he says laughing himself. "Onward and upward ladies, time for you two to get hitched!"
Duce giggles and throws an arm around Jonathan's shoulder, throwing her other arm around Faith's waist. "We're off to see the wizaaarrdd.. " She half-walks/is half dragged, out into the hall.
"Silly Johnny!" Faith says, as they head down the hallway. "You can tell everyone and they'll know it's true. Cause I'm totally telling everyone. Ever. Eryoneever."
She tries to skip along with Duce's song, but fails miserably. "Wonnerful wizard of Oz," she mutters.
He leads Faith and half carries Duce the 3 1/2 blocks to the nearest of the 24 hour chapels, smiling at every person that passes them and gives him dirty looks.
'Just out for a stroll folks, ignore the two completely smashed girls following me around, nothing to see.'
"Why do they think I'm mugging you guys or something?" he asks just as the reach 'The 24 Hour Hunka Burnin' Love Chapel'.
"'scuz you're aboy out with two women late at night an' can't be up to no good," Duce says, nodding sagely. "Oh! Elvis!" She stares at the building and bursts into giggles.
"I don't have a dress," she says suddenly, frowning. "Faith too."
"Psh!" Faith spits out. "Hate dresses. Don' like wearing them. Can't doooo anything in a dress." She giggles. "Well, you can have easy sex. But that's not the kind of talk at a wedding. Specially not one with the King"
She nods. "When I was little, I totally dreamed of this wedding."
Jonathan doesn't mention how sad that really is, he doesn't, "I think, if you really want one, they can provide one?" he says, not entirely certain
They step inside and a muzack version of Heartbreak Hotel assaults them. An Elvis impersonator makes his way towards them and if Jonathan isn't misunderstanding what the hell is going on, There is something truly off about that Elvis and that's Chewbacca weird, not 'what the hell is an emocoma' weird, "What the hell?" he asks
Duce looks around the chapel, still giggling. When Elvis comes toward them, she freezes a moment, and her snakes fixate on him. "Jonathan.. " she slurs. "'snot Elvis." The Elvis impersonator steps towards them with a patently false smile, "Heya, whut'a kin I do for ya, young fella? Which one'a these pretty ladies is the lucky gal?" His teeth glint and he does a minor hipswivel, "A-hubba hubba!"
Faith stares at Elvis. "Don't be silly. He's here to enenrtain us later. We-" she gestures at Duce, "are getting married." She smiles happily at him, if a bit drunkenly.
She peers closely at him. "You're not really Elvis, are you?" Not!Elvis glares, taking a step away from the group. "What're y'all up to? Tryin' ta play a trick on the King?"
Jonathan isn't sure what the hell is going on, but he's beginning to beleive what Faith had said earlier, about being able to still slay vampire butt despite being so sloshed.
Looking over at Faith Jonathan asks, "should I be ducking?"
Duce watches Elvis intently, muttering, "Not human." She stands up straight, only swaying slightly, and says decisively, "Don' care. 'm marrying Faith, right now. You," she points an imperious finger at the King, "are gonna marry us. Yes." She nods. Elvis takes another step back, "Hey, ha ha, the little lady's quite a joker, isn't she, bubba?" His eyes shift from side to side behind his pink-tinted glasses.
"You don't haveta duck," Duce pats Jonathan on the shoulder, "'Cuz he's'a play all nice an' marry me an' Faith."
Faith grins a toothy grin. "Course he's gonna marry us. He knows s'not good to make violent people sad. Cause he's smart like that, right King?" Elvis shook his head, backing away from the kids.
"What the hell's going on?" he said, losing the accent. "Is this some kinda trick?" Faith nodded. "Yep. You're not really Elvis. And I'm... I'm not this polite. So come marry me and Duce."
She smiles sweetly. "Otherwise? You won't have as much fun. Promise."
Jonathan's not so far removed from being a normal guy that having to hide behind the girls' skirts didn't hurt his pride a little. However, he always said he preferred to be the man with the hurt pride, rather than the man with a shattered skull because he was to much of a macho asshole to let anyone help him out he gladly waited in the background for Duce and Faith to have their conversation with the 'man', well, not to far in the background seeing as he had to hold Duce up a bit, but still, away from the main action.
"Faith, he's moving /away/," Duce complains, "How'z he s'posed'a marry us if he's.." She waves a hand, then grabs back onto Jonathan's shoulder to keep from pitching forward, "all over there?" She sternly says, "You come here right now!" to Elvis. Elvis doesn't comply. He turns to bug out, muttering, "Fucking kids and their jokes.."
Faith turns to Duce. "Una-unacceptable." She bounds towards Elvis, pulling him into the room and shoving him against a wall. "Don't even try to be funny. You? Marry us, or get beat up by the cool slayer."
Elvis stares at her. "What in the hell- let me go," he snarls, trying to get out of her grip. Faith giggles maniacally. "I don't think that'd get me married, would it?" she asks, tightening her grip.
Jonathan's quietly cheering from his place next to Duce, "So I have to tell you," he says leaning towards her, maintaining a safe distance from the snakes but not really noticing them aside from that, "Your wife to be is totally going to kick that guys ass, and then she'lls till make him marry you two," he giggles slightly, "How hardcore of a wedding present is that?"
Duce beams at Faith and crows, "She loves me." and then she pouts, "Jonathan? Why'n't he marrying us?"
"This's marrying place. We're marry-ing. He's buggin'. Don' get it." she nods, "Faith should hit him if he says no."
Faith looks over her shoulder to grin at Duce, and turns to Elvis. "That's my fiance," she says happily. "So, when're you gonna marry us? Cause she wants me to hit you, and I don't say no to much."
"I'm not marrying you. For the last time, let go of me, and leave," Elvis says, in a misguided attempt at bravery. Faith nearly giggles. "See, that was just dumb," she says as she lands a hard punch to his face.
"Go Faith!" Jonathan calls out to her. To Duce he says, "So, what are you guys going to do for rings when this guy caves and marries you?"
Duce stares at Jonathan as though he's the most brilliant creature on earth. "Ohshit." She frowns, thinking, and then nods, "He's got rings on. Lots'a rings. He'll give us some." She nods again, firmly. "Won't you?" she calls to Elvis.
The King is still reeling from the facepunch, lip split and bleeding, "You kids are fucking crazy!" he shrills, struggling to get away from Faith. Duce's voice turns cold, "That," she says, "was the wrong answer."
"Pretty much the wrongest answer ever," Faith says, nodding. She grinned. "But it's okay, cause I get to hit you till you get the right answer." She does just that, adding an extra few punches for good measure.
"Here's a hint. The answer is 'yes, Faith, I will marry you to Duce. And I've got rings ya'll can use'. And then you marry us."
"The lady can litterally keep this up all night," jonathan interjects, trying to talk some sense into the... 'thing', "I mean, maybe you think you're tough enough but no way, it's not happening.
She's going to school you and the way I see it, you can give in now and save yourself a lot of pain, or you can keep it up and loose most of your teeth. Choice is yours!
Duce purrs as Faith beats on Elvis, murmurring, "I love it when she does that. It gives me a happy," She wriggles against Jonathan like a kitten. Addressing Elvis with a frown, she says, "You're not making Faith very happy. This is sh.. supposed'ta be the happiest day of our lives."
Elvis nearly screams in desperation, "I can't marry you! You're just kids! There are laws against that!" He flinches, expecting to be hit. Duce brightens, "Oh! Tha's'ok. 'mnot a child. 'mancipated." Digging in her pocket, she removes her wallet and peers into it intently, flipping through various cards until she finds a small laminated one. Waving it triumphantly, she says, "Here it ish. Is. E-man-cip-ated minor waiver."
Faith giggled again. "See, my wife to be is smart. And, see?" she digs through her pockets, coming up with a driver's license. "M'eighteen."
Of course, it's a forgery- the year of birth has clearly been changed from an 8 to a 7- but it's passable. Elvis sighs. "Fine, fine! I'll marry you!" he growls out, standing up and brushing himself off.
"See?" Jonathan asks the room at large, "Did I not say he was going to be marrying you two anyway? Some people, they just don't know what's in their best interest."
"I'm witnessing," he tells the man, pulling out his own fake ID, it's passable, but not terribly good, god knows no one ever really bothered checking on Gotham. "And what about those rings for the brides to be?"
The King grumbled and fiddled with his fingers. A slow, calculating smile twisted his broken lips. He pulled the rings from his pinkies, and Duce was happy to note they were plain gold bands. There appeared to be some sort of writing around the band, but she couldn't read the script. This could possibly be because the world would not. stop. spinning.
Jerking his slightly disheveled pompadour toward the chapel entrance, he grinned, "Got the rings right here, bubba. Come on then, let's a'mosey on down to the chapel and get these fine young ladies hitched!" Turning on one sequined heel, he did a jigstep and sauntered down the tacky red velvet carpet.
"Yay!" Faith says, doing a very bad skip after Elvis. "Who said violence didn't work? They totally lied to me." She starts to hum the wedding song, and adds a little dance move to every other skip.
"Plus? We totally got pretty rings out of this. Yay, we're getting married!"
"Da dum da dummmm, da dum da dummmm da dum da dumm dumm da dum dumm da dummmmm" Jonathan sings leading the girls into the chapel.
"Should I hold on to the rings?" he asks Fake!Elvis, while holding onto Duce's arm
Duce giggles and tries to bridestep, but stops when it causes her to stumble. Her snakes hiss. She tilts her head at the King as he speaks. "Allright, then y'all. You, miss, and you, miss, come stand before the King and hold hands." Duce takes a tottering step forward and windmills her arms, grabbing out for Faith's.. Jonathan's.. somebody's hand.
Faith's hand is grabbed by Duce, attempting to help steady her as they stand before the Elvis. "We're going with the short version. Do you take her as your wife?" he asked Faith, exasperated.
"Of course!" Faith said, grinning. "Wonderful. Do you take her as your...wife?" he asked Duce, disliking the repetition.
Jonathan helps Faith keep Duce steady. Off to the side he sees a little bowl of rice. He doubts fake Elvis is going to mind if he takes some for Duce and Faith, he doubts fake Elvis is going to mind much after the beating Faith gave him. Keeping one hand on Duce, cause he'd hate for her to fall on her wedding day, he reaches out and takes a few handfuls of rice, stowing it in his pocket to keep safe
Half leaning against Jonathan, Duce said in a very clear and sober voice, "Of course I do!" and apparently four words are as much as she can manage in sober-speak, because she promptly giggled and muttered something in ancient Greek. Looking at Jonathan, she tilted her head, trying to figure out what he was doing.
The King handed Faith the ring, a sneering smirk plastered across his face. Whether at some private joke or a more-than-usual pathetic imitation of Elvis' trademark sneer was hard to determine. "Place the ring on her finger and repeat after me, "With this ring, I thee wed. To keep and to hold, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do us part."
(Faith.. the woman they call Faiiiith.. She makes friends with the rich and she ignores the poor She beats up on Elvis til he can't take no more My love for her now ain't hard to explain The woman I'm marrying The woman they call Faith)
Faith places the ring on Duce's finger, needing several tries to get it on the right one. She manages to slur out a "witring iwed," before giggling and stopping, as if done.
Fake Elvis rolls his eyes. "That's as good as it's getting, isn't it?" With a sigh, he turns to Duce. "Repeat after me. 'With this ring, I thee wed. To keep and to hold, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do us part,'" he says, sneer deepening to a sad caricature of the King.
Jonathan stands there and listens. He's almost disappointed that he is in no way moved by the preceedings But the girls look happy, in a euphorically drunk kind of way. He waits for the girls to finish saying their vows,
Duce takes the ring and finally removes her other hand from Jonathan's shoulder. Taking Faith's wrist, she eyes the hand, and carefully puts the ring on the correct finger. Grinning as she gets it on the first try, she repeats, "With thish.. this.. ring.. I thee wed. To.." She frowns, "she's not a kept woman.. or maybe now.. yeah.. keep and to hold, for richer for poorer, in sickness.." She peers at Elvis. "No sickness. Don' wan' Faith t'get sick. .. and in health, til.. um.. well never, do us part."
As the second ring goes on, there's an arc of blue energy between them, causing Duce to shout, "HEY! ow!" More out of startlement than anything else. She scowls. Fake!Elvis' smirk grows and he does a little two-step jigshuffle hipswivel, "And a'hey, we got ourselves a marriage! You may now kiss the bride!"
Faith, not noticing the flash beyond 'Oo, shiny' grins. "Yay! The fun part!" She leans into Duce, kissing her firmly on the mouth.
Elvis grins. "Excellent. While you ladies, uh, finish up, I'm gonna head out- shift's over, and all. Buh-bye!" he says, and practically disappears out the door.
Jonathan reaches into his pocket and throws the rice over Faith and Duce
"I present to you, Mrs. and Mrs. Medusa St. Claire!" he yells
Duce giggles and kisses Faith back, half falling against her. "We're married," she says solemnly, before giggling again. Jonathan's pronouncement makes her laugh even harder, but then she stops abruptly and furrows her brow, "Hey, wait.. whozat make me then? Mrs. Faith who?"
Faith giggles back at her. "Mrs. Faith Lehane. It's all very cool. W're taking eacthrs names, then?" she slurs. Faith mimes writing a name in the air- or she could be landing a plane. "Mrs. St. Clair. I'm gonna have to remembererer that." She nods forcefully. "Cause, we're married and all."
"Do you need help getting back to the hotel Duce or is you wife going to carry you?" "I mean, she has to carry you over the threshold," he says wiping the few grains of rice left on his hands off on his pants
"DO you guys have to sign something?"
"Can walk!" Duce protested, taking a wobbly step. "'mnot drunk! 'm married!" She took another step, this one steadier. "Yeah.. certificate.."
Duce peers around for a marriage certificate, and grunts, not spotting one. She totters over to a desk and begins rifling through it, throwing the drawers when she's finished them.
Eventually she finds what she's looking for and waves it triumphantly. "Foun' it! But.. needs shis signatuture.." She then regards Jonathan, "An' you still haveta strip!"
Faith laughs at the flying drawers. "Don worry, 'm sure he'll come back. Probly just needs ta, like, get some hairgel or something." She nods. "Johnny, you've got to strip. It's the rules." She grins at him happily.
"I don't think he's coming back," Jonathan says, looking out towards where fake Elvis exited, "and okay, I'll strip, just for you guys."
"But can we maybe get back to the hotel or something first? It seems weird stripping in a chapel, even one covered in rhinestones and memorabilia," he says.
Duce shakes her head adamantly, "Gotta have it signed." She digs for a pen for a moment and scrawls her name rather sloppily. On the spot for 'Officiated By:', she switches the pen to her other hand, she writes neatly, "Elvis A. Presley". Giggling, she mutters, "Daddy's signature's harder'n'at." She waggles the pen at Faith. "You an' Jon too."
Pouting at Jon for a moment, she giggles. "No Liberace stripping? Aww."
Faith skips over to the desk, grinning like a fool. "I can sign m'name all by myself." She signs 'FATH LehANE' on the line in a big, third-grader script. "Beautiful. See? It's right by Elvis."
She giggles excitedly. "Elvis was here! And he was a demon! That's SO cool!" she says, hopping up and down.
Jonathan also picks up the pen and signs his name, Jonathan Crane, it's possible the swooping curves and arches he uses in his penmanship could be described as 'girly'. It's also possible many people have said so in the past.
"I'd be surprised if Elvis wasn't always a deon," Jonathan asks her, "And I would Duce, but I left my tear away pants back at the hotel," he adds with faux sheepishness.
"There's your licence," he tells them, handing it over to them, "You are officially married." He smiles as he hands it to them, cause it really is that funny.
"You've tear away pants?" Duce stares at him for a moment, tilting her head so her gaze can travel.. southward. "'ve seen you inna leather ones. But leather.. dun't tear so easily." She frowns. "Well, sorta."
Giggling, she takes the license and carefully folds it, tucking it into a pocket. "We're married, Faith!" she crows gleefully.
Faith raises an eyebrow. "You own tear away pants an brought them to Vegas? Johnny!" she says with a giant grin. "You're full of surprises."
Turning to Duce, she jumps up and down, giggling. "I'm maaaried! To Duuuuuce! Yaaaay!" Pausing, she looks around the chapel. "So, you guys ready to head back to the hotel? This place isn't as homey without the big E."
"This place wasn't as homey with the big E," Jonathan points out, not mentioning the fact that he was being sarcastic about the tear away pants, "And I am definately ready to head out, that Elvis head over there gives me the creeps," he says gesturing at a statue across the room and shuddreing.
"And what did you guys bring to Vegas? I was told tear away pants were a necessary item?"
"That statue makes you not happy?" Duce looks from the statue to Jonathan and back. Tottering over to it just a little unsteadily, she sighted, drew back, and punched the King right in his plaster pout. The head of the statue exploded, chunks of plaster littering the floor. Duce shook her hand with a plaintive, "Ow." before tottering back to Jonathan and Faith. Pouting, she held her bruised fist up, "Ow," she insisted. "Need stripping now. Hotel's good."
Faith looked from Duce to the Elvis-peices on the floor. "See? I knew you're the right girl fr me. You beat up Elvis!"
Belatedly realizing that Duce's hand hurt, she leaned over in an attempt to kiss it. Missing Duce's hand, Faith stumbled forward, laughing.
"Lesgo back to the hotel. Johnny can strip and we can be married," she says as she heads for the door of the chapel.
"I think you two are married regardless of whether or not I strip," Jonathan teases while heading for the door. On the street he waits for the girls to stumble outside before leading them towards the hotel.
"So ladies, when exactly am I going to be getting to watch?" he asks.
Duce follows Faith and Jonathan, smiling bemusedly. She calls out to random passers by, "Hey! 'm married!" which is met with various states of glances.
Shaking her head at Jonathan, she says, "Not tonight. Tonight we are the watching." She giggles, considering something, "But could be fun to make you watch .. " and adds sternly, "But no touching! MY Faith!" Leaning over, she hugs Faith around the waist.
Faith grins, leaning into Duce and wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "Totally. We're watching and not touching except you. Cause we're married!" She yells the last sentence of this, and starts to giggle.
"But we're totally married, for real, right? Cause Elvis was mad shady." She looks concerned for a moment. Finding her hand, she waves it around wildly. "We have rings! We're married f'real."
Jonathan watches them stumble down the street, humming 'Ladies Night' to himself. "Rings definately make it official," he says moving closer and picking up one of Duce's hands.
"What does this weird ass writing say on them?" he asks, running the tip of one finger over the inlaid design.
"We're for real married!" Duce insists to Faith, nodding. "Rings! An'.. an'.. Jonathan witnessed it, so yes." Peering at her hand in Jonathan's, she leans back against Faith's shoulder and shakes her head, "Dunno? 'sweird demon language're something. Not Greek, Latin, English or.. or Russian." She looks closer, "An' not Elvish."
Continuing to stagger down the street toward the hotel, linked with the other two, Duce shrugs, "Don' care. I say it's saying 'Faith and Medusa Are Married!'."
Faith looked closely at the ring. "Dunno. Should know, probly. Probly like, an apoca-apocalypsey warning. Or something important and demony." She rolls her eyes, not looking where she's going and staggering ahead blindly.
"Whatever. Don'do apocalypses. Just don't. Specially not on my wedding." She smiles at Duce. "I'ma go with your message. Best option." She nods.
"Between 'Faith and Medusa are married' and 'holy shit the world's going to end' I'll definately take the former over the latter," he says, placing an arm gently around Faith's shoulders and pulling her so that she was moving more towards the hotel than the street.
"And is that Elvish as in a language of elves or Elvish as in, the languafe of Elvis?" he asks
Duce shakes her head firmly, "World isn' gonna end." and then she giggles, "Someone's'a make the joke 'bout the horsemen, though. But then you'll hit 'em. Or I will. An' that's a fun too."
Stomping deliberately up the sidewalk toward the hotel, she laughs, "Elvisish! Could be. I thought the thing with the," she intones hollowly, "one ring to rule them all, one ring to fine 'em, one ring blah blah blah and in the darkness bind them' thing. Cuz it's dark." she explains.
The fountain of the Bellagio rises in front of them.
Faith looks very, very confused. "Elvis was an elf? Huh. Never hit an elf before. Thought it'd be more... glittery. And, yay!" she squeals, pointing at the hotel. "We're all home!"
"Well, not really home," she babbles as they walk into the hotel. "School's home, pretty much. I love school. We've got to send out a wedding announcement or something. So everyone knows. Cause we're damn awesome."
"Even more importantly, if you send out announcements you'll get stuff from people. Stuff, is the best reason to get married," he tells them opening the door to the hotel and leading them up. "Which floor were we on again?" he asks, hoping one of them remembers.
"Big damn party, Faith! Married people have parties and.." Duce says, and as Jonathan mentions marriage loot, nods sagely, "Presents. But mostly cuz we're MARRIED!" she yells down the hall, laughing. "And they'll all be jealous." She frowns at the doors. "Not this floor. Up. Sixth floor.. 617."
A porter gives them a dirty look as they go by. Duce sticks her tongue out at him. She adds again, "I like parties."
Finding the elevator, Duce stumbles inside with the other two and pushes the '6' button. The motion of the elevator and it's inertial stop on their floor causes her to stagger a step or two. "Whoa!" (done)
Faith bounces in the elevator. "Parties? We get parties? Hell yeah! Getting married was the best idea ever!" she says, stepping into the hallway. Looking around, she turns towards the other two. "I don't think I can count right now. Where's the room?"
Jonathan helps keep Duce steady on the ride up, he's pretty certain the hotel staff won't appreciate it if she looses her dinner right here. When they get out of the elevator he points them all in the direction of their room.
"That way," he says, pointing, completely forgetting to keep his voice down in case others on their floor were sleeping.
"I'll open the door for you guys, but you're gonna have to figure out who's carrying who over the threshold."
Duce, at 5'3, looks up at Faith. "I could, but you're taller," she says with a laugh. "An' I weigh less'n Logan's kitchen table." She frowns suddenly, "I think I do, anyway." Poking her tummy reflectively, she tenses it and nods. "Yup. Do." Fishing her card key out, she hands it in Jonathan's general direction. "Door?"
Faith grins. "Definitely lighter than a table. M'totally doing the carrying," she says, picking up Duce. "See? Threshold an carrying an ready f'r when John-boy gets the door open."
"B'sides," she says with a giggle. "The whole carrying thing's irre-re- not important. Cause we were here already. S'like living in sin!" Faith mock gasps.
Jonathan takes Duce's key-card and unlocks and opens the door. He hurries inside quickly, looking around for one of the cameras that were lying around earlier.
Spying a disposable one lying by the coffee table, he pickes it up winds it and aims it in Faith and Duce's direction.
"Ready when you are ladies," he says, snapping pictures as they enter.
Duce giggles as Faith sweeps her off her feet, throwing her arms around her wife's neck. She gasps in mock-shock as well, "Sin before the wedding!? Maybe we should go inna someone else's room then?" Considering that, she leans her forehead against Faith's temple and says, "Nah.. like this room best." Turning her face slightly, she beams at the camera as Faith carries her into the room. "Hi, Mom!"
Faith grins at Jonathan. "Aw! You're taking pictures to commemorate the big day. You're such a sweetie!" Her eyes grow misty, but she's totally not a crying drunk, so it stops there. "This has been the best night ever, guys!"
After entering the room, she heads towards the bed, and puts Duce down on it. Flopping down next to her, she grins and waves at Jonathan. "Dude, those pictures are gonna be so awesome when we try to prove this to people."
"That's me Faith, I'm all heart. A picture to comemorate your union is exactly what you two need. I mean, the wedding album is looking to be pretty small at this point," he says taking one more picture of them being cute lying on the bed together.
"So I guess I should leave you two alone for the big night right?" he asks, moving towards the door.
Duce laughs at all the pictures, "He thinks we're'a be 'mbarassed t'morrow. Nope. Won't." Duce shakes her head, snakes starting to get a little seasick from all this motion. "An'.. " she tilts her head at Faith, "In't he supposed to strip now? Or do we strip an' he strips later? I forgot who's watchin' who," she confesses.
Faith shrugs. "Not gon'be embarrassed. That'd be silly." Looking from Duce to Jonathan, she bites her lip, thinking. "I know there's stripping. And watching."
She looks at Jonathan, by the door. "M'pretty sure he's stripping now. Cause we get to watch. He said that, before. Least, I think he did."
"Do I get music or something?" he asks from his place in the doorway. Rubbing the back of his neck with one hand but grinning.
Rolling toward the nightstand, Duce procures the TV remote and flips through to one of the cable radio channels. She begins slowly flipping through them, "Lemme know when music's right?"
Faith grins, bouncing up and down on the edge of the bed. "Yay! Pick a good song!" Turning to Duce, she adds in what she thinks is a whisper, "This is totally better then the strip club. Those guys were icky." She looks Jonathan up and down. "See? Pretty."
Jonathan blushes a bit and has Duce stop the radio on something random and techno because the only other choice 'I'm Too Sexy' on the 80's station. He moves his hips in time to the beat while slowly taking off his shirt. Pulling it over his head he throws it onto the bed with the girls and does a body roll while rubbing his right hand down his chest and torso.
Duce cheers and applauds, grabbing the shirt and draping it over Faith's head like a scarf. "He's much, much prettier than the scary men earlier. An' he doesn't smell all gay. 's'a bonus. Pulling one of Faith's arms around her shoulders, she leans her head against Faith's bicep and makes herself comfortable for the show.
Faith grinned at Duce, and squirmed around until she got comfortable. "I have a hat now." She started applauding Jonathan and cheering him on. "Dude, you should totally do this more often. Y'r good, really. S'impressive," she says with a grin
When his hand reaches his jeans he hooks his thumb inside the waistband and does two groin thrusts to the beat followed by a roll of his hips.
He thumbs off the top button of his button fly jeans and tries to do the same thing to the next one. It's not as cooperative.
Trying to cover by bringing his left hand down his body and towards his groin he pouts like Duce tuaght him and uses two hands to open the rest of the buttons.
Duce idly runs her fingertips up and down Faith's forearm, watching Jonathan consideringly. "Faith, he's pouting at us. An' I think he looks a little bored, maybe. Should we make him not bored?" Her head tilts to one side, a small smirk playing at the corners of her mouth.
"Cuz when he did that in the fashion show, he had makeup on, and it was a good. Now he's got no makeup on an' it's pretty but am not sure it's a good."
"'specially seeing as, y'know, we're all newlywed and in a honeymooning mood n'all." Turning to Jonathan, she adds, "Are you bored? You wan'do something else?"
Jonathan's eyes widen and he stops pouting. Standing before the bed with his jeans undone he nods, "Something else could be fun," he says, "I'm pretty flexible when it comes to plans. And you know, other things."
Duce doesn't stop running her finger over Faith's arm. She shakes her head slightly, still smirking. "Oh, no.. you don' get to stop. But, you said you wan'ed to watch. So while you were stripping, I could be kissing Faith, cuz if I rolled over to straddle her hips, my snakes could still watch you, an' Faith could still see you. Oh," she says, as if thinking of something, "but then you'd haveta watch our hips all pressed together." She muses, "Suppose I could add some distance, keeping slightly off her lap, if I balanced myself .. maybe put one leg between hers, or ran my hands up under her shirt to hold on better." She watches Jonathan, and says in a lazy purr, "But then you'd be watching two women kissing, and I'm sure that's just no fun for you..their bodies all pressed together.."
Duce makes no move to actually do any of these things, just describing them while watching Jonathan.
Faith turns to Duce, open mouthed. "You've got a very good point. And, really, everyone wins. 'Specially cause, you know, everyone gets to look at something cool." She nods emphatically.
[Annnnd stealing from the Callynanders patented FTB: here you get to imagine Faith and Duce making out while Jonathan watches and probably amuses himself. Eventually, they kick him out, and the making out gets more serious. And then they both pass out, because they are drunk like whoa.]