Connor Safehouse
The clank of the mailbox alerted John. Well, okay, it woke him up. Part of the joys of working from home. Ah, telecommuting, how I love thee. "Compiling" all night.
He got up from the couch and ransacked the mailbox. Bills, junk, junk mail, more junk, letter, lawn service, letter from HOA, bills. Junk mail.
He popped open the HOA, skimming it.
"Regret to inform you...impending forfeiture of property...repeated violations of bylaws..."
John cursed. A lot. Fine, so there's a meeting on Friday? He'd be at the meeting. Multiple violations of bylaws? He'd show them violations of bylaws. He didn't sign the damn HOA papers, his mom didn't sign the damn HOA papers, and the damn HOA didn't exist when this old farmhouse was purchased (with enough legalese so that Skynet wouldn't know who owned what, with the bills in different names as long as they got paid).
He fired up the laptop, researching what land ownership laws were in the fine commonwealthy state of Virginia, his copy of the HOA that had been helpfully included in the letter (along with the sections he had violated and/or was currently violating), as well as a payment schedule for member fees and violation fees.
You don't piss off a Connor and get away with it. If he had to, he'd call in reinforcements. A little gremlin venom in the pool.... Time to send out some e-mails.
To: Everyone
Re: Legal pointers for beating authoritarian rules lawyers
Body:
Hey. There's an HOA who claims that they have claims on my house here in VA. They don't. We never signed the HOA and there wasn't even a stupid HOA when this house was bought.
Any ideas for way to get back? Or get even? Or win?
John
[handwave e-mails about legalese things to those who want to]
He got up from the couch and ransacked the mailbox. Bills, junk, junk mail, more junk, letter, lawn service, letter from HOA, bills. Junk mail.
He popped open the HOA, skimming it.
"Regret to inform you...impending forfeiture of property...repeated violations of bylaws..."
John cursed. A lot. Fine, so there's a meeting on Friday? He'd be at the meeting. Multiple violations of bylaws? He'd show them violations of bylaws. He didn't sign the damn HOA papers, his mom didn't sign the damn HOA papers, and the damn HOA didn't exist when this old farmhouse was purchased (with enough legalese so that Skynet wouldn't know who owned what, with the bills in different names as long as they got paid).
He fired up the laptop, researching what land ownership laws were in the fine commonwealthy state of Virginia, his copy of the HOA that had been helpfully included in the letter (along with the sections he had violated and/or was currently violating), as well as a payment schedule for member fees and violation fees.
You don't piss off a Connor and get away with it. If he had to, he'd call in reinforcements. A little gremlin venom in the pool.... Time to send out some e-mails.
To: Everyone
Re: Legal pointers for beating authoritarian rules lawyers
Body:
Hey. There's an HOA who claims that they have claims on my house here in VA. They don't. We never signed the HOA and there wasn't even a stupid HOA when this house was bought.
Any ideas for way to get back? Or get even? Or win?
John
[handwave e-mails about legalese things to those who want to]