London, Steampunk Universe, Portalocity stop, Monday evening

[mparkerceo]

sig_and_stilettos:: I am going to shoot someone, probably a bunny-***ping gnome
Sig_and_stilettos: If I don't get a straight answer soon
Sig_and_stilettos: 20 hours in transit no clue where next stop is why is that robot staring at me? #portalocityfail
Sig_and_stilettos: NO I WILL NOT GO QUIETLY, AUTHORITARIAN RENT-A-COP

Comments

[nohattrick]

Trick was still en route to the island, Dugal apologizing profusely for the portal trips. Still, it gave Trick a better understanding of just what he'd be in for when he got to Fandom and had to start apologizing.

"This trip by itself practically pays the bloody debt," he mumbled. Dugal, however, insisted this would be an excellent time for Trick to start getting some hands on practice in dealing with customers and had set Trick up with his own "Twitter" account.

@PortalocityPal: What can we do to improve your current perception of Portalocity? #PortalocityCares

This would...go over well?

[mparkerceo]

Sig_and_stilettos: SLDKFd;giudf!
Sig_and_stilettos: FREE SHOES FOR LIFE
Sig_and_stilettos: ALCOHOL
Sig_and_stilettos: AND ANSWERS, 'PAL' #Portalocityfail

[nohattrick]

Trick's response was delayed as he glanced over to the woman in the plum pantsuit who had just begun sputtering to herself. He would have gone over to see if she were all right, but she had an attendant hovering over her already.

PortalocityPal: @sig_and_stilletos I'm sorry, I don't understand your first request. Was that a mistranslation? Perhaps this 'Auto-Correct' may be to blame?

PortalocityPal: @sig_and_stilletos @Portalocity does not recognize shoes as legal tender at this time. But answers are a possibility!

Trick was already planning on the alcohol. For both himself and any future clients.

[mparkerceo]

Sig_and_stilettos: @PortalocityPal THAT was a keysmash of pissed-off
Sig_and_stilettos: Frakking stupid balance of trade
Sig_and_stilettos: WHEN DO I GET TO FANDOM? When do I get a portal?! Mine was supposed to leave 2 hours ago!!!!!
Sig_and_stilettos: I am not changing into a fricking crinoline no matter how long I'm stuck in the 19th Century Amusement Park

[nohattrick]

Uh-oh. This one was going to Fandom? Maybe she'd somehow miss the branch office he'd be opening.

Wait--19th Century Amusement Park? Trick was going to sink down further into his seat.

PortalocityPal: @sig_and_stilettos Ummm...soon? I hope. It just needs to get rerouted. The route through...New Gotham...is unusable. Sorry for the delay.

[mparkerceo]

Sig_and_stilettos: Oh My God. There might be an actual person talking to me.
Sig_and_stilettos: Not just a recording!
Sig_and_stilettos: GOOD
Sig_and_stilettos: 'Cause if I don't get there
Sig_and_stilettos: I AM SACRIFICING THE EMPLOYEES AT MY LAST STOP

[nohattrick]

PortalocityPal: @sig_and_stilettos I am a real person, yes. But I'd really appreciate it if you didn't sacrifice my coworkers.

PortalocityPal: @sig_and_stilettos Except possibly the gnome.

[hotceltogoth]

@downwithgrenfelzing: @PortalocityPal Stop with the shit PR moves and start a) apologising and b) helping to fix things?
@downwithgrenfelzing: @PortalocityPal I'm just saying, fake online 'stickers' don't really cut it and frequent flier miles only go so far when the portals don't.

[nohattrick]

Those 'tweets' earned Dugal a nasty glare. "Do I even want to know?" he asked. And then collared the Fae before he could finish sneaking his way over to the infuriated woman in purple and feed. "You are not going to add 'snacking on passengers' to my list of things I have to fix," he hissed.

PortalocityPal: @downwithgrenfelzing You make excellent points. So I'll start with the apology. Portalocity apologizes profusely for any & all travel issues

PortalocityPal: @downwithgrenfelzing I'm being informed that I must add, this apology does not mean acceptance of any liability therein.

"I AM NOT GOING TO ADD THAT!"

PortalocityPal: @downwithgrenfelzing #PortalocityCares

[hotceltogoth]

@downwithgrenfelzing: #PortalocityCares for its bottom line
@downwithgrenfelzing: #PortalocityCares about its reputation
@downwithgrenfelzing: #PortalocityCares but not about you
@downwithgrenfelzing: #PortalocityCares about fake online stickers
@downwithgrenfelzing: #PortalocityCares but they won't stop lying
@downwithgrenfelzing: #PortalocityCares so cut the crap, okay?

[nohattrick]

Dugal was reading over Trick's shoulder. "See?" he said happily. "This one understands where we're coming from!"

Trick was developing a headache. After sending Dugal off for another meat pie, he wrote something akin to the truth.

PortalocityPal: @downwithgrenfelzing I think we can both agree that @Portalocity's reputation & bottom line are going to take a hit after this.

[solo_sword]

JainaSolo_: @PortalocityPal Be upfront about why youre having issues.
JainaSolo_: @PortalocityPal While youre at it, fire your current PR staff.
JainaSolo_: @PortalocityPal Compensation for added portals and stops because THE PREVIOUS STOPS ARENT THERE ANYMORE.
JainaSolo_: @PortalocityPal Counseling. Both offered for those who deal with you, and you should all get some.
JainaSolo_: @PortalocityPal Let me at the gnome. I wont kill him if you hand him over willingly.
JainaSolo_: @PortalocityPal I make no promises about other injuries.
JainaSolo_: @PortalocityPal No more bunnies. Ever.
JainaSolo_: @PortalocityPal Donate your profit for the next year to charity AFTER that whole compensation thing.
JainaSolo_: @PortalocityPal Never make me have to deal with another saber tooth tiger in my life.
JainaSolo_: @PortalocityPal Die in a fire.

[mparkerceo]

Sig_and_stilettos: @PortalocityPal @JainaSolo_ WHAT SHE SAID.

[nohattrick]

"Can I give her the gnome?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"He married into the clan."

"This one promised not to kill him?" Trick was motioning for another drink. They could just leave the bottle. "It's probably the best offer we're going to get."

PortalocityPal: @JainaSolo_ I can certainly look into having 'no saber tooth tigers' added to our company policies! #PortalocityCares

"That's really the only one I can talk about?"

"Yep."

"If this one comes after me, I'm handing over the gnome, clan or not."

And then when Dugal wasn't looking, Trick wrote,
PortalocityPal: @JainaSolo_ Fire would be relatively quick.

[solo_sword]

@JainaSolo_: @PortalocityPal Thats the only thing in that list, huh? Amazingly, thats better than I expected.
@JainaSolo_: @PortalocityPal I have an alternate plan that ENDS in fire, if youd like to hear it...
@JainaSolo_: @PortalocityPal Though it does involve dismemberment and a LOT of crying. (Not mine.)

[nohattrick]

PortalocityPal: @JainaSolo_ Somehow, I didn't think it would be yours.

Call it a hunch Trick had.