(no subject)
Title: Crazy for you.
FFXII: OGC, AU.
Rating: R, Warning: on the extremely romantic side.
Characters: Penelo, Noah.
Summary: Penelo had gone to see someone from the past; she did so with an impulsive bent, yet there was something between knowing and feeling that he wouldn’t be so cross with her. Still, the pain of going through the taciturn affair was pulling her apart.
__________
When the lights were off, they tried to sleep without talking. If only the noise of the chocobos outside created some clamor-- the distraction would be welcomed. She was anxious, and especially tonight and with good reason; her soft breathy sounds annoyed her, but she turned, conscious of him beside him.
“Noah?”
He was turned the other way; his strong, solid back scarcely touching her. Even here, in the darkness, her eyes could adjust to make out the line of his shoulders, the way he breathed-even, so sweet sounding to her ears.
“Noah?” She started again, because she wanted him to turn to her. She knew she wouldn't let up tonight.
“Hmm?”
“Are you angry at me?”
It was barely a squeak. She had to know: wasn’t it hard enough that he gave her the silent treatment every night--throughout the entire week, and this eve? When he had eaten at the table, he just sat there taking his meal, finishing up, and thanked her.
Thanked her.
“Why would I be angry at you?” He said, nonplussed.
But of course, she would remind him, very brusquely. “What I did. I did a very terrible thing. I went to Lowtown without telling you. But I wanted to know.”
He was turning towards her, “I know. That’s why I was a little upset.”
She pulled the sheets closer to her body, her fingers fierce against the edges, “A little? Gods, Noah, I just had to know…can you really blame me?”
“Let’s just go to sleep.”
He turned around, and she was left to close her eyes tight, darkness filled her vision more-until the lights around were hurting; bright spots formed, until she opened them again to find the world was filled with splotches of fading white-pink-purple-blue-green-white-upon black background. The distraction was short-lived.
“I can’t. I can’t sleep, Noah. Not until you forgive me for going.”
She released a breathy sigh, “Noah,” Penelo continued, “I can’t bear to know you hate me for going behind your back.”
“Damn, Pen,” he exhaled, frustration clear in his voice, “What do you want from me, love? You deliberately went to him, to see if you still loved him? Cared for him? Is that it?”
“You can make it easier on me,” she sobbed, “because,” the hiccup started, “I can’t bear it, I can’t bear the thought of you hating me.” And she forced herself to stop feeling miserable, stopped from hurting.
There was silence between them, only the slow soft breathing in the night; the light from the window a witness.
She heard him sigh, shudder, and surprisingly, he turned, bringing her body close-so close, “Penelo,” he rasped, against her neck, burying deep; touched his lips against her skin. It felt good to her, and the tears started to fall, because it was such things like this that made her feel such deep shame.
“You’re so good to me, Noah. I don’t deserve you.” She sobbed, holding her hands over her face, “but, I had to know, to know that if I saw him again, I wouldn’t-…”
She stopped because she was sobbing into her covered hands, and he was hushing her, placing his fingers on her skin, her hair, pushing them away from her face, “Sweet Penelo, I’m a very jealous man, what did you expect me to feel?”
And when her hands were pulled away from her face, he was kissing her tears away, “Shhh,” he said, “Don’t cry, I hate it when you cry, gods.”
“I don’t deserve you,” she turned into his arms, wanted to kiss him back.
When they kissed, it was wet, hot, demanding--- filling everything in which bloomed the long days of exasperated longing; born from hours of unvoiced anguish. She felt his hand reach down to her waist, touching naked skin, pushing up the night shirt, “why do you wear clothes to bed?” He said, after pulling himself free from the kiss, bringing his lips back to the curve of her shoulder, down further, so that she was gasping.
“It’s the other way around, love,” he said to her, finally. His hand spanned her thigh, heavily toned from exercise and work, “I don’t deserve you.”
She giggled; the tears still wet and fell easily down her hot cheeks, “shut up,”
“There’s my Penelo,” Noah laughed, and she liked the way he laughed because he hardly ever laughed.
Oh her poor Noah-her heart felt like bursting, it rose with such an intensity that she trembled under him as he took off the remaining undergarment; and when he entered her-- it was with a kind of inspiring heat that her mouth parted; the noise of her intense pleasure filled the room. Her short fingernails dug into his skin, and the sound of his beautiful breathy voice-sweet against her ears drove her mad with bliss.
Much later, she was atop him; her lithe body bracing his, and she was tracing fingers on the jaw line where his blond beard once lay, “I’m glad you shaved it off. You were getting a little scruffy.”
“Oh really?” he laughed, “I thought you liked it.”
“I do, but, I like you like this as well.” She kissed the top of his straight strong nose, brought more kisses to the edge of his sensual lips, “And mmmm, you are so beautiful.”
“Now you’re making me blush,” Noah hugged her quick for that, “I’m the one who’s supposed to say that.”
She giggled, “You blush? You would say that when the lights are completely off. Say that to me again when it’s in the middle of the day! I want to be the first to see it.”
“I just want to know one thing.”
His voice became solemn, and she listened---this was when everything would clear. All the things before; because she believed that he believed in forgiveness.
“Yes? Anything.”
He was caressing her body, the lines of her back, and she felt her body so small against his.
“Do you still love him?”
“Yes.” She swallowed, “But I love you too.”
“Gods.” He tensed.
“But not as much as you.”
“Penelo.” It was an agonized cry.
“I mean it. You mean more to me than anyone.”
He released a ragged sigh, “All right. I guess I’ll accept that.”
“What do you mean you’ll accept that?” It was a pert reply.
“I can’t make you love only me. I’m a selfish man, on top of being extremely jealous. I am tormented to have to share you with another. Always, I had to share; if that means that I’d keep you, then so be it.”
“Noah, dearest Noah…” she said, soft, kissing him again, bringing her hands-small they seemed against her Noah-because he was, in truth-larger than life. Everything about him was beautiful. Her heart ached for him in the silent hours of the night when she was asleep; she ached for him when he was away.
When she sighed against his chest, her heavy hair spread out on his bare skin, there was only a complete kind of happiness that filled her heart before she closed her eyes and slept.
He was still awake, when he heard the last of her heavy breathing turn into soft steady sounds of slumber. It was with some kind of painful clarity that he was wiping away the tears. His tears.
“I’m crazy about you, Penelo.” He told her, voice soft; kissed the top of her bright head; and he proceeded without some discomfort--wanting to take her again-to go back to sleep.
FFXII: OGC, AU.
Rating: R, Warning: on the extremely romantic side.
Characters: Penelo, Noah.
Summary: Penelo had gone to see someone from the past; she did so with an impulsive bent, yet there was something between knowing and feeling that he wouldn’t be so cross with her. Still, the pain of going through the taciturn affair was pulling her apart.
__________
When the lights were off, they tried to sleep without talking. If only the noise of the chocobos outside created some clamor-- the distraction would be welcomed. She was anxious, and especially tonight and with good reason; her soft breathy sounds annoyed her, but she turned, conscious of him beside him.
“Noah?”
He was turned the other way; his strong, solid back scarcely touching her. Even here, in the darkness, her eyes could adjust to make out the line of his shoulders, the way he breathed-even, so sweet sounding to her ears.
“Noah?” She started again, because she wanted him to turn to her. She knew she wouldn't let up tonight.
“Hmm?”
“Are you angry at me?”
It was barely a squeak. She had to know: wasn’t it hard enough that he gave her the silent treatment every night--throughout the entire week, and this eve? When he had eaten at the table, he just sat there taking his meal, finishing up, and thanked her.
Thanked her.
“Why would I be angry at you?” He said, nonplussed.
But of course, she would remind him, very brusquely. “What I did. I did a very terrible thing. I went to Lowtown without telling you. But I wanted to know.”
He was turning towards her, “I know. That’s why I was a little upset.”
She pulled the sheets closer to her body, her fingers fierce against the edges, “A little? Gods, Noah, I just had to know…can you really blame me?”
“Let’s just go to sleep.”
He turned around, and she was left to close her eyes tight, darkness filled her vision more-until the lights around were hurting; bright spots formed, until she opened them again to find the world was filled with splotches of fading white-pink-purple-blue-green-white-upon black background. The distraction was short-lived.
“I can’t. I can’t sleep, Noah. Not until you forgive me for going.”
She released a breathy sigh, “Noah,” Penelo continued, “I can’t bear to know you hate me for going behind your back.”
“Damn, Pen,” he exhaled, frustration clear in his voice, “What do you want from me, love? You deliberately went to him, to see if you still loved him? Cared for him? Is that it?”
“You can make it easier on me,” she sobbed, “because,” the hiccup started, “I can’t bear it, I can’t bear the thought of you hating me.” And she forced herself to stop feeling miserable, stopped from hurting.
There was silence between them, only the slow soft breathing in the night; the light from the window a witness.
She heard him sigh, shudder, and surprisingly, he turned, bringing her body close-so close, “Penelo,” he rasped, against her neck, burying deep; touched his lips against her skin. It felt good to her, and the tears started to fall, because it was such things like this that made her feel such deep shame.
“You’re so good to me, Noah. I don’t deserve you.” She sobbed, holding her hands over her face, “but, I had to know, to know that if I saw him again, I wouldn’t-…”
She stopped because she was sobbing into her covered hands, and he was hushing her, placing his fingers on her skin, her hair, pushing them away from her face, “Sweet Penelo, I’m a very jealous man, what did you expect me to feel?”
And when her hands were pulled away from her face, he was kissing her tears away, “Shhh,” he said, “Don’t cry, I hate it when you cry, gods.”
“I don’t deserve you,” she turned into his arms, wanted to kiss him back.
When they kissed, it was wet, hot, demanding--- filling everything in which bloomed the long days of exasperated longing; born from hours of unvoiced anguish. She felt his hand reach down to her waist, touching naked skin, pushing up the night shirt, “why do you wear clothes to bed?” He said, after pulling himself free from the kiss, bringing his lips back to the curve of her shoulder, down further, so that she was gasping.
“It’s the other way around, love,” he said to her, finally. His hand spanned her thigh, heavily toned from exercise and work, “I don’t deserve you.”
She giggled; the tears still wet and fell easily down her hot cheeks, “shut up,”
“There’s my Penelo,” Noah laughed, and she liked the way he laughed because he hardly ever laughed.
Oh her poor Noah-her heart felt like bursting, it rose with such an intensity that she trembled under him as he took off the remaining undergarment; and when he entered her-- it was with a kind of inspiring heat that her mouth parted; the noise of her intense pleasure filled the room. Her short fingernails dug into his skin, and the sound of his beautiful breathy voice-sweet against her ears drove her mad with bliss.
Much later, she was atop him; her lithe body bracing his, and she was tracing fingers on the jaw line where his blond beard once lay, “I’m glad you shaved it off. You were getting a little scruffy.”
“Oh really?” he laughed, “I thought you liked it.”
“I do, but, I like you like this as well.” She kissed the top of his straight strong nose, brought more kisses to the edge of his sensual lips, “And mmmm, you are so beautiful.”
“Now you’re making me blush,” Noah hugged her quick for that, “I’m the one who’s supposed to say that.”
She giggled, “You blush? You would say that when the lights are completely off. Say that to me again when it’s in the middle of the day! I want to be the first to see it.”
“I just want to know one thing.”
His voice became solemn, and she listened---this was when everything would clear. All the things before; because she believed that he believed in forgiveness.
“Yes? Anything.”
He was caressing her body, the lines of her back, and she felt her body so small against his.
“Do you still love him?”
“Yes.” She swallowed, “But I love you too.”
“Gods.” He tensed.
“But not as much as you.”
“Penelo.” It was an agonized cry.
“I mean it. You mean more to me than anyone.”
He released a ragged sigh, “All right. I guess I’ll accept that.”
“What do you mean you’ll accept that?” It was a pert reply.
“I can’t make you love only me. I’m a selfish man, on top of being extremely jealous. I am tormented to have to share you with another. Always, I had to share; if that means that I’d keep you, then so be it.”
“Noah, dearest Noah…” she said, soft, kissing him again, bringing her hands-small they seemed against her Noah-because he was, in truth-larger than life. Everything about him was beautiful. Her heart ached for him in the silent hours of the night when she was asleep; she ached for him when he was away.
When she sighed against his chest, her heavy hair spread out on his bare skin, there was only a complete kind of happiness that filled her heart before she closed her eyes and slept.
He was still awake, when he heard the last of her heavy breathing turn into soft steady sounds of slumber. It was with some kind of painful clarity that he was wiping away the tears. His tears.
“I’m crazy about you, Penelo.” He told her, voice soft; kissed the top of her bright head; and he proceeded without some discomfort--wanting to take her again-to go back to sleep.