Fanfic - Torchwood / Chronicles of Narnia - The Problem of Susan - II

[ffutures]

This is a crossover between the Dr. Who universe and the Narnia stories - all characters etc. belong to various people who aren't me, there is no intent to infringe on their rights. Comments, warnings about spelling mistakes, etc. etc. gratefully received.

Comments

[jhall1]

This is excellent. A couple of minor things:

"they aren’t prepared to look give her numbers for everyone called Harkness in the city" - looks like you changed your mind on which verb to use but accidentally left the old one in.

"passed some bad checks" - in something so British, the American spelling sticks out like a sore thumb AFAIAC.

[ffutures]

Thanks - I'll fix the numbers thing.

Re checks/cheques, It's an American saying this, but I'll lamplight the point a little.

[whswhs]

Is there actually a difference of pronunciation between British English and American English? I don't think I've ever heard someone use the British pronunciation, but I'd always assumed that it was alternate spellings for the same sound.

[nelc]

Yeah, I was going to ask the same thing. I've never perceived the consonants in an American 'check' and a British 'cheque' to be different. I think you were better off leaving the US spelling in the dialogue, and maybe adding a few more Americanisms, or highlighting Susan's perception of his regional (e.g. Bronx or Virginian, say) accent.

[ffutures]

OK - maybe you're right. I'll omit it.