Forbidden Delight, Chapter 2/??

[fffriction1984]

Title: Forbidden Delight
Author: fffriction1984  [tbsupervillains ]
Chapters: 2/??
Genre: AU, POV, voyeurism (is that even a genre…?)
Warnings: none for this chapter
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: no real pairings yet
Characters: Uruha, Ruki, Reita, OC's so far
Disclaimer: I only own the idea to the story and the OFC, Uruha and the rest of the gazemen pretty much belong to themselves

Comments

[atriums]

As both a yaoi and a het fan, I find myself offended by the comments exchanged between yourself and erlallosta there. There's nothing wrong with having extremely high standards when it comes to certain things -- something which I am not innocent of, but it thankfully doesn't disrupt my ability to sit down and enjoy a fic like it does others. Some people just don't like original characters and, no matter what, to some people an original character always equates a Mary Sue. I've learned the Jrock fandom is pretty harsh about this, but the best you can do is ignore them and feign obliviousness. The fact you're discussing it up there shows you are bothered by it -- bitter, I'm guessing -- which is the last thing anyone should do. Take this from someone who's had personal experience on both sides of this argument. (And I don't mean as the yaoi/het sides, I mean the Mary-Sue/OC argument.)

I'm just one of those people that's come to terms with this and has learned to generally ignore the argument. If you want to write a story about someone, there's always going to be something different about them, and this something different tends to equal Mary Sue to some people. I don't look at the little details, but rather the bigger ones when it comes to judging what a Mary Sue is. (i.e. cat ears and tails in the Narutoverse.)

I say this without reading the Uruha x Kagura series, so I hope I come off as unbiased as I am trying to sound. If not, I apologize. m(_ _)m

Now...onto my actual review of this story so far! >_> (If I haven't scared you away or upset you.)

I FRICKIN' LOVE YOUR URUHA. He's so cute, adorable, and innocent yet normal and it makes for great comedy. (It's also a really nice change from the stereotypical slutty Uruha I encounter in the yaoi fics I read.) Very fresh and nice~ ^.^b This contrasted with Nanako's seemingly promiscuous and far from innocent character is sure to bring in some interesting dynamics. :3 I happen to be quite enamored with this type of combination. xD

I think the only actual qualm I had with this series as a whole were a couple very minor things: real names and Japanese usage. When I read fics, I don't like to read them with real names because I have this twisted theory that makes all the band members fictional characters (as I once promised myself I would never read/write RPFs, yet look where I am!), and reading their real names breaks this "fourth wall" I built, and turns me away. (I realize you only used his real last name in combination with his stage name, which is okay, I'm just begging you not to use Kouyou at any point! XD)

As for the Japanese usage... I can understand the usage of the name suffixes since those are impossible to translate into English without sounding downright weird. (Mr. Uruha? Ew, no.) Most English speakers also aren't very respectful like the Japanese speakers are, so I am just fine with the suffixes. >_>; (Wow, I feel like I sound really rude for telling you my fic preferences. D: )

But...if there is an English equivalent that works just as fine, I think it would be best to use it. Seeing random Japanese words in the middle of an English statement is downright annoying, especially since most of the given time it's used incorrectly. (If I'm not mistaken, deshita is past tense, which doesn't make sense....)

That was highly unprofessional of me, although I’m anything but a professional voyeur. I’m just a man who happened to see a neighbor having sex. That’s not my fault, really.
This line made me giggle.

I gulp. I just gulp and put the phone down.

She’s after me.
I giggled at this, too. I can imagine Uruha's expression perfectly during them, and it's quite adorable. Not to mention your concise style of his thoughts makes it all the better. Uruha has attitude~ X3

Sorry for the really long comment! o_o;

[tbsupervillains]

Now that is a really long comment, the longest I've ever received....

Okay, just so you know, I'm not bothered by slash fics or anything in that direction, but there is this jrockisanon meme crap thing where someone told blatant lies about me - that is what irked me and that is why erlallosta brought the whole thing up in the first place (we were also discussing that in another post, but that's not the point). And I admit that yes, it's true, I feel a bit offended about the way some people put off every OC as a Mary-Sue. As far as I am concerned I spend MUCH time creating those characters, I am careful not to give them too many of those Sue-traits, but like you said - some people just equate OC with Mary-Sue. Those people can't be helped and I'm not going to waste any more time on ignorant people like them. Still it hurts to read something like that about "someone" you've spent hours creating. Everything else is pretty much explained in the last two comments that were directed at erlallosta. Nevertheless, I'll start to revising above mentioned series as there are whole chapters that really irk me these days. The thing about my "fav" OFC Kagura is that she's revealing her flaws and problems very slowly, one by one. On the other hand, those people who told me they liked the story say, that my characters appear "alive", because of their flaws, because of the things happening to them, and so I can just assume those people who bashed me never even tried reading more than the first chapter of said series. (I'm rambling and losing my train of thought, so if this doesn't make sense, then I'm sorry).

It's also a really nice change from the stereotypical slutty Uruha I encounter in the yaoi fics I read.
That's only one of the reasons why I lean away from slash more and more these days.

For the real Japanese names: You should totally never read the Uruha x Kagura series then. lol.
Random Japanese words: I try to refrain from using Japanese words as much as I can, believe me. I'm not so sure about deshita, I thought it was the more polite form of desu but I might be wrong, I haven't checked yet. But yeah, that's why I usually don't use random Japanese words because I haven't mastered the language and make mistakes. :3 (I remembered, yeah, you're right. I think "deshô" is what I meant to use... gnaaah... I'll just edit it and change it into something English... XD)

I'll have to see where this is going or if it is going to go anywhere, because I'm pretty much not in the mood to write since that jrockisanon stuff happened - and usually I write 24/7. I shouldn't let this happen but they pretty much killed my confidence about my writing. So bear with me for an update ^^

~fffriction

[atriums]

Ah, yes, I do remember that. I spent one night reading the entire thread until four in the morning because I was bored, and I had nothing else to do. I remember reading the thread about you, as well. Unless there's been more comments added to it, the only thing I recall seeing on there about you was that everyone seemed to simultaneously agree that they, erm, didn't like your fics and wished you'd stop spamming communities with them. Or something like that. o_O; I don't remember much since it had been four in the morning when this happened. XD (Unless the bit about you saying men can't be together or something of the like is one of the lies you're talking about...?)

I understand where you're at with Kagura though, I really do. It's one of the reasons why I'm not quite finishing this one fic I started ages ago entitled Akatsuki (now retitled Rising Sun, feel free to ask songbird_swords about it XD). There's a billion of reasons why I haven't continued it, but that's definitely one of them. I've spent months on developing Sakae's character -- and even now she's still being fine-tuned. (I also just know people are going to call her a Mary Sue since I wanted to try writing a three-way relationship.)

Erhm, anyway, I should make my departure. I've gotta go to work, and I've been dancing around and trying to get ready and type this at the same time. I'LL WRITE MORE LATER WHEN I GET BACK, I PROMISE. 8D I'm just short on time and I need to make this quick. XD

[tbsupervillains]

As far as the spamming is concerned they shouldn't get their panties in knots anymore because I decided I won't post any more updates to comms. The people who appreciate my writing and are not bothered by it are on my friends-list anyway. *shrugs*
And yes, the bit about me saying gay relationships aren't real, that's what I was talking about. That might only be one lie, but it still is a lie. I never said anything like that and it's just stupid. Maybe I'm over the top when it comes to this, but if there's anything I hate it's when people say things about me that aren't tru. Anyway, I'm not going to justify my reasons why I write het instead of slash. And I do like to read slash, when there's a plot and nicely developed characters. Those people should really check their sources instead of writing such crap about someone they don't even know.

Three-way relationships can turn out good. If I were you I'd give it a try. I almost made my OFC Kagura have a threesome with Aoi and Uruha, but that had to be in the plot because otherwise it would have destroyed my storyline. lol.
And even if you give her more fine-tuning, don't forget what you said about people equating every OC with Mary-Sue, right.

I need to go to bed anyways, it's 2.27am and I need to get up early. But I look forward to hearing from you. :3

[atriums]

Ah~ Personally it doesn't matter to me whether or not you said that. People are entitled to have their own opinions, but -- in the event you had said that -- that doesn't mean you could go traipsing around and saying that. That's just my opinion, not putting you on the spotlight or anything. ^^; There's no reason you should ever have to justify yourself about things like this because, as I previously said, people are entitled to their own opinions. You're different from them, so you're bound to have conflicting opinions. A preference of het to slash just happens to be one of them. XD Either or is good with me~ 83

Most of Sakae's fine tuning is to make her a more...normal person, I guess. I was fourteen when I started that story years ago, so back then she wasn't very "real." But it's been years, and the idea has been incubating, so it's getting better since I've evolved since then. XD I definitely do intend to write the three-way relationship, and I intend to make it as realistic as possible. That's most of the fine-tuning taking place. (I've seen some people write fics that just...well, they just shouldn't, because it lacks complete realism.)

I just reread my first comment, too, and I realized how rude that sounded. T__T I'm sorry, it wasn't my intention! Also, since I would like to continue reading this, would you mind if I added your fic journal with mine? (miseishi) ^-^

[fffriction1984]

Right, everyone's entitled to their own opinion, to each his own, etc. And now that we all know they hate my writing it's all fine and I can move on (though I am still bothered about the way they said it, but that's just me, so ignore me... lol). The thing is this: My life sucked, it sucked big time lately and writing was the only thing I enjoyed and to read things like that about the only thing you cherish.... sucks. But yeah, I'm forcing myself to move on and not pay attention to this.

Fourteen? I don't even remember what fourteen was like because it's too long ago, but I do remember that back then I wrote self-inserts. XD Crappy self-inserts XD
I've seen some people write fics that just...well, they just shouldn't, because it lacks complete realism.
That's the same when I read some slash fics and the writers turn men into girls - they behave like girls, they talk like girls...

Don't worry about your commoent sounding rude because on the other hand you were the first person who has ever given me the criticism I've always wanted, so it's all fine. ^^ And sure, I'll add you back then and if I have the time I'll check out your writing too. ^^