(no subject)
Whew, here I am again, for anyone that still livejournals... Man, I was reading my old journal entries for no reason...I was so fucked up!!!!!! I can't even believe I was that miserable, I mean sure I get depressed every now and then, and yes it was over the same things as before, but shit...I'm in such a good mood anymore its ridiculous. I feel so relieved, in so many ways. I'm out of all debt except my car. I've still got no clue where I'm going in this world, but I think now I've finally got an idea of the only things that are going to bring me any real happiness and fulfillment in the coming years. I've come damn near to completely ridding my mind of worrying about meeting girls and whatnot. I'm over all that crap, I mean they're all the same for the most part, nothing special at all. I fucked up the only decent one i've come across so far, and theres nothing i can do about it and thats it. man i've got so much to see out there in the world, and for now thats all i need. but hey i was a stupid kid, selfish, immature, materialistic. now i know what i want at least and whats important in life. HAVING FUN!! it may sound pretty juvenile, and if you saw the way I acted every day, you wouldn't think I was the kind of person who's done a whole lot of growing up and found a small bit of enlightenment. But shit, in spite of all the negativity around, I just feel happy to be alive, knowing what awaits me when I get out of here, and I'm finally just letting myself go and enjoy every bit of life, the way I always should have. Goddamn, being in this place has absolutely altered my life! that or I'm just going crazy from all the isolation and darkness. no more of living that life that was bringing me nothing but stress and self-loathing...