Why
I am starting to feel sick to my stomach. It's that same feeling I got when I was told the real reason me and Lindsey broke up. I am not getting this feeling for any new reason, I am just thinking about it again. I hate not doing anything right now. I am bored, so now I can think, and my mind goes straight to this bull shit. I hate it. I still cant believe it. O-my-God I cant believe it! Lindsey, the one I loved. No, the one I love! Mo Chroi, it means "my heart". God, why did you allow this to happen? I really cant believe you let this happen. She was the girl I was going to marry. We were going to have kids. We argued once a month about naming our son Kevin the 3rd! I always thought we would get married together. Lindsey...of all people. Lindsey crushed me. I still cant believe it happened. And I am sorry that this is probably making it hard for you Lindsey, but it's so hard for me. It's really hard! And I cant just drop it. I dont feel like I wasted 10months of my life, I dont think our relationship was a waste at all. But I wonder...about alot of things. And thats what is killing me right now. As Lindsey would say: "ah fuck me in the ass"!