Hey, I'm alive...but thats not always good.
I am going crazy over Amber....its been forever since I have written anything without referring to her as "her" or "the woman of my dreams", but I know that I don't have to worry about her reading this, so I can just say it without freaking her out.
I am crazy for this girl. If its not love, then I don't know what love is, nor do I believe it exists. I saw a picture of Matt online last night, on Facebook. I don't know if those two are still together, but I do know that at the time she posted a very angry sounding blog about guys and their actions, she also deleted her countdown to their 6th anniversary.
Anyways, I saw his picture last night, then checked out her myspace profile and left her a message. Then I had a dream about me and her being together. In the dream, I had done something that was not good, but I don't remember what it was. All I know is that I was still insanely happy with life. I had upset her, and was not thrilled about that, but I still had her. It was amazing. I had gone to see her at work to apologize, and then was going out to buy her a CD and a card. I woke up at that time for work, but I just remember not being happy with the current situation, but I was happier than I ever have been with life; I had her in my life.
Then when I got home from work, I saw that I had received a card from my friend Heather. In the card she mentioned Amber, and how she's doing. And she also noted that she had heard no mention of Matt.
The wave of emotions I have had all day has been crazy. I have gone from incredibly happy to completely depressed. I can only wonder if I will get my chance, and if so, when?
At this point, as has been the case for a few years now, all I want is to have Amber in my arms, to show her the way I feel. I wonder if she ever thinks about me...I know I have had her in my mind every single day that I have been out here in this barren wasteland they call a desert.
As a side note, I have been saving three mini bottles of alcohol from Christmas for a special occasion, and I think this calls for it. I think I will start off with the cool burn of Aftershock and then move to the stuff that is made to take away your problems - Southern Comfort and Wild Turkey
I am crazy for this girl. If its not love, then I don't know what love is, nor do I believe it exists. I saw a picture of Matt online last night, on Facebook. I don't know if those two are still together, but I do know that at the time she posted a very angry sounding blog about guys and their actions, she also deleted her countdown to their 6th anniversary.
Anyways, I saw his picture last night, then checked out her myspace profile and left her a message. Then I had a dream about me and her being together. In the dream, I had done something that was not good, but I don't remember what it was. All I know is that I was still insanely happy with life. I had upset her, and was not thrilled about that, but I still had her. It was amazing. I had gone to see her at work to apologize, and then was going out to buy her a CD and a card. I woke up at that time for work, but I just remember not being happy with the current situation, but I was happier than I ever have been with life; I had her in my life.
Then when I got home from work, I saw that I had received a card from my friend Heather. In the card she mentioned Amber, and how she's doing. And she also noted that she had heard no mention of Matt.
The wave of emotions I have had all day has been crazy. I have gone from incredibly happy to completely depressed. I can only wonder if I will get my chance, and if so, when?
At this point, as has been the case for a few years now, all I want is to have Amber in my arms, to show her the way I feel. I wonder if she ever thinks about me...I know I have had her in my mind every single day that I have been out here in this barren wasteland they call a desert.
As a side note, I have been saving three mini bottles of alcohol from Christmas for a special occasion, and I think this calls for it. I think I will start off with the cool burn of Aftershock and then move to the stuff that is made to take away your problems - Southern Comfort and Wild Turkey