The good life
she said "im bitter sick of sweet and pure, take me now im your's"
I hate it when you say you need me.
You don't need me.
I hate even worse that I need you.
It kills me.
It's different when you're lonely,
the whole world's in love.
Holding hands between bar stools,
and you're holding your tounge.
Hold on - you're so fucked up...
so fickle.
Hold on- please don't leave yet.
I can't go home alone,
it doesn't go over so well.
So hold on just a little longer.
At least through the night,
at least 'til the morning.
Hold on. Hold on to me.
I can hardly stand - much less
the sight of myself.
So hold on, hold on tight dear.
Put your foot on the gas -
get me the fuck out of here.
i woke up this morning to the silence of falling snow.
these graces of beauty have left me so cold.
i once had a heart, but hearts are like snowflakes
and snowflakes. one warm touch and they melt away
maybe we'll get wings. maybe anything.
just anything to set us free. maybe we'll wake up
a golden exit. must we always wait for sleep?
So why? Can’t I be him, that guy in all your dreams?
The one with all those qualities, impossible to achieve
That man you thought I'd be
So flawless, so honest, that could never be me
Well that ain't me
Out a little late aren't you?
What's out there I don't give you?
Don't I drink and sleep with you?
What you want you'll never get-
what you want is infinite.
You'll never get your fill of it.
So again you drink
and you grind your teeth.
Gnashing at the bit
of this emptiness
you can't swallow down.
It echoes in your
mouth
the words keep bounding out
Up a little late aren't you?
You let an empty bed scare you.
Still I drink and sleep with you.
Standing up to stay awake,
you start to blink you start to sway.
Blacking out another day.
So again you sleep
and you grind your teeth.
On the kitchen floor
you can't feel a thing -
that's what you perfer - yeah,
you found a cure for it.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
And again you wake
from a drunken sleep.
make some promises
you know you'll never keep -
but at least you try.
Or at least you try to
try.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
You never fell for me,
You fell for how it felt
You felt for being held,
So, who’s gonna fill in
Now my arms refuse to bend?
Who’s gonna fill in….
And who’s gonna fill the days with me,
With Canadian Club and old movies….
We don’t know what we want, but we’re both needy.
But what do we need, really?
I never follow through,
I fall into the groove -
The boy and girl routine
So, who’s gonna fill in
Now the suspect fled the scene?
Who’s gonna fill in…
And who’s gonna spend the nights with you
Once the bars close down and the city sleeps…
We don’t know what we want, but we’re both needy,
But what do we need really?
And lately I’ve been living on my own…
And I’ve fucked up so many times
I’m better off alone.
Yesterday came and went and I wasn't present
The weeks were laid out like pavement
Work and drink and sleep, repeat
Upon the beaten path
I kept on my blinders...
don't need any old reminders
No face. No Name. No memories.
If you love it, you leave it
'cause you hate that you need it
It's the one thing you can't have
you're too self absorbed to change
always, "My way."
Tomorrow could come and go
and I'd sleep right through it
I'm not searching for self improvement
I'm sticking to the beaten path
Here and there I come across an old acquaintance-
some old flame, some old burn victim
I remember I need to forget
everything I ever said to you
If I could take it back-
I'd eat every word
You want to feel like all those others feel,
but you won't- and you never will
All that you love you lose
You do.
it's gonna be all right okay?
i'm leaving everything behind
so goodnight, farewell-and cheers
to the new denial.
exhausted with the born again routine...
you die a little bit each time you smile.
so grit your teeth, they like you happy.
i guess i was a mistake.
i guess i'm your big mistake.
well happy birthday anyway.
there's just so much that we can fake
before we break ourselves into-two.
what we really want is just ahead,
just over that hill.
and the more i learn, the less i try to climb.
the more we change, the more we wish
we stayed the same,
the more we try to fake ourselves into beliefs:
"the grass must be green somewhere!"
i'll try to describe the way that it felt to
tell my own mother her son is a failure.
his heart is too cold to love anyone but himself.
it's like stabbing an icicle straight through your chest.
your whole body shivers as it coarses your blood.
and your quivering throat keeps
choking on those words,
mama i tried a thousand times
i'm frozen to the core.
your son is a glorious mess,
who wrecks anything he adores.
but deep in his center he swears
there’s a candle just waiting to burn. and melt.
so who's gonna burn him
yeah who's gonna break him
into a thousand pieces
melting over flames of perfection.
i once felt its warmth,
but it left me shivering in the dark.
mama i tired a thousand times
the pieces wouldn't fit.
son, love is a punch in the eye.
it’s a sudden and swift surprise.
it's not a candle, its not waiting to burn.
so baby, just wait your turn.
and when it hits you,
you'll see through rose colored apathy;
through the blues that bruise can leave.
was it really worth the wait?
the good life=my life.
and is perfect for me.