(no subject)
Challenge #85: chastity
Title: Of Virgins, Bisexual Ships and Pervs
Author: Ally (mythophobic)
Pairing: General
Rating: PG-13 for language and discussion material.
Words: 659
Timeline: Pre-Serenity, a few weeks after Jayne joined the crew.
Summery: Stifled sex-drives cause a ridiculous discussion over dinner.
“Little Kaylee needs to get sexed.” Jayne said one night over dinner. Mal shot him a fierce look, then went back to eating. Zoe pretended not to hear and Wash nearly choked trying to stifle a laugh, but Kaylee stopped eating and put her chopsticks down. Her eyes went right to her lap and she didn’t say anything.
The silence seemed sturdy enough until Jayne, annoyed with being ignored, continued his train of thought.
“I’m just saying, spry young thing like herself, all alone in the black. Ain’t no one else here’s a virgin, is there?’
“I ain’t no virgin. I’ve had sex.” Kaylee blurted out before realizing what she said. All eyes went to her, and her cheeks flushed a bright pink.
“Someone’s a mite proud of their conquests, it seems.” said Wash.
“That ain’t so,” Jayne proclaimed. “How old is she, fourteen?”
“Eighteen.” Kaylee muttered.
Mal, sensing the girl’s discomfort, rubbed her arm in a comforting way. “Seeing as how my first impression of Kaylee was her playing host to Bester’s manhood, I can’t help but seeing her as a sex fiend.” Kaylee’s eyes widened with shock at Mal’s betrayal, but when she saw the captain grinning at her, she could tell he was only teasing. “You’re a sweet girl, don’t get me wrong.”
Kaylee giggled and playfully swatted Mal’s hand away.
“Shiny,” Jayne said.
“That’s not too fair for you to pick on Kaylee on a count of your own sexual cravings,” Zoe said. “And it’s nothing shameful to wear a chastity belt.”
Jayne’s eyes scrunched up a little, meant he was thinking. “Why is it a word that means all sexless and virginal has the word ‘tittie’ in it?”
“It refers only to sexing,” Wash said, “The definition says nothing about fondling, groping or ogling.”
Zoe, who was sitting across from the pilot, unconsciously crossed her arms over her chest and scowled at him. “It’s just so hard to take someone seriously when they play with dinosaurs and store half of their meals in their moustache.”
From the other side of the table, Kaylee burst out laughing and Mal tried to keep a straight face.
“I’m saving it for my long nights in the cockpit, so I don’t go hungry,” said Wash, who made no move to brush the crumbs from his facial hair.
“Smart, that pilot,” said Mal, “Good thinking, saving us food.”
“You’re not serious,” said Zoe, telling, not asking.
“Nope!” Said Mal with a triumphant smile, and Wash feigned a look of shock at the betrayal.
“Serves you right for being pervy,” said Kaylee, sticking her nose up and looking down at the pilot who had yet to learn how to wear matching clothes.
“Yeah,” called Jayne, “Talking like that when there’s ladies in the room!”
Wash’s eyes widened. “So this is all my fault now?”
“I’ll bet he’s still a virgin,” Jayne said as he pointed to Wash with his chopsticks.
Zoe smirked.
“I-hey, no!” Wash held up his hands, “No picking on the guy who can land this thing wherever he chooses, not to mention just what he can do to make that landing anything but easy.”
“Well you can’t land a boat if she ain’t got her engine,” Kaylee said smartly.
“So that’s what she does in that gorram engine room!” Jayne said and jumped out of the chair.
“Serenity ain’t no virgin herself,” said Mal, his voice laced with a hint of pride.
Jayne said nothing, just looked from Kaylee to Mal to around the room. “Go se,” he muttered, “I’m flying in a ruddy bisexual boat.”
He didn’t clean off his plate or push in his chair, just walked out muttering, “I’ll be in my bunk.”
There were a few moments of silence, everyone seeing eachother in a slightly different light, and all looking very amused. It was Zoe who finally broke the silence.
“So, out of all of us, including Serenity herself, Wash’s the only virgin?”
Title: Of Virgins, Bisexual Ships and Pervs
Author: Ally (mythophobic)
Pairing: General
Rating: PG-13 for language and discussion material.
Words: 659
Timeline: Pre-Serenity, a few weeks after Jayne joined the crew.
Summery: Stifled sex-drives cause a ridiculous discussion over dinner.
“Little Kaylee needs to get sexed.” Jayne said one night over dinner. Mal shot him a fierce look, then went back to eating. Zoe pretended not to hear and Wash nearly choked trying to stifle a laugh, but Kaylee stopped eating and put her chopsticks down. Her eyes went right to her lap and she didn’t say anything.
The silence seemed sturdy enough until Jayne, annoyed with being ignored, continued his train of thought.
“I’m just saying, spry young thing like herself, all alone in the black. Ain’t no one else here’s a virgin, is there?’
“I ain’t no virgin. I’ve had sex.” Kaylee blurted out before realizing what she said. All eyes went to her, and her cheeks flushed a bright pink.
“Someone’s a mite proud of their conquests, it seems.” said Wash.
“That ain’t so,” Jayne proclaimed. “How old is she, fourteen?”
“Eighteen.” Kaylee muttered.
Mal, sensing the girl’s discomfort, rubbed her arm in a comforting way. “Seeing as how my first impression of Kaylee was her playing host to Bester’s manhood, I can’t help but seeing her as a sex fiend.” Kaylee’s eyes widened with shock at Mal’s betrayal, but when she saw the captain grinning at her, she could tell he was only teasing. “You’re a sweet girl, don’t get me wrong.”
Kaylee giggled and playfully swatted Mal’s hand away.
“Shiny,” Jayne said.
“That’s not too fair for you to pick on Kaylee on a count of your own sexual cravings,” Zoe said. “And it’s nothing shameful to wear a chastity belt.”
Jayne’s eyes scrunched up a little, meant he was thinking. “Why is it a word that means all sexless and virginal has the word ‘tittie’ in it?”
“It refers only to sexing,” Wash said, “The definition says nothing about fondling, groping or ogling.”
Zoe, who was sitting across from the pilot, unconsciously crossed her arms over her chest and scowled at him. “It’s just so hard to take someone seriously when they play with dinosaurs and store half of their meals in their moustache.”
From the other side of the table, Kaylee burst out laughing and Mal tried to keep a straight face.
“I’m saving it for my long nights in the cockpit, so I don’t go hungry,” said Wash, who made no move to brush the crumbs from his facial hair.
“Smart, that pilot,” said Mal, “Good thinking, saving us food.”
“You’re not serious,” said Zoe, telling, not asking.
“Nope!” Said Mal with a triumphant smile, and Wash feigned a look of shock at the betrayal.
“Serves you right for being pervy,” said Kaylee, sticking her nose up and looking down at the pilot who had yet to learn how to wear matching clothes.
“Yeah,” called Jayne, “Talking like that when there’s ladies in the room!”
Wash’s eyes widened. “So this is all my fault now?”
“I’ll bet he’s still a virgin,” Jayne said as he pointed to Wash with his chopsticks.
Zoe smirked.
“I-hey, no!” Wash held up his hands, “No picking on the guy who can land this thing wherever he chooses, not to mention just what he can do to make that landing anything but easy.”
“Well you can’t land a boat if she ain’t got her engine,” Kaylee said smartly.
“So that’s what she does in that gorram engine room!” Jayne said and jumped out of the chair.
“Serenity ain’t no virgin herself,” said Mal, his voice laced with a hint of pride.
Jayne said nothing, just looked from Kaylee to Mal to around the room. “Go se,” he muttered, “I’m flying in a ruddy bisexual boat.”
He didn’t clean off his plate or push in his chair, just walked out muttering, “I’ll be in my bunk.”
There were a few moments of silence, everyone seeing eachother in a slightly different light, and all looking very amused. It was Zoe who finally broke the silence.
“So, out of all of us, including Serenity herself, Wash’s the only virgin?”