In the Black

[budclare]

100 words. Part of my odd little three-part drabble series. Takes place after Bite Your Tongue and In Which Zoe Administers a Swift Kick in the AssThe blow was nearly physical, like a giant, merciless hand striking Kaylee down. She could only take short gasps of air, barely enough to live on. Her knees buckled and she toppled against the bulkhead,

Comments

[rednikki]

Ain't that a punch in the stomach.

[budclare]

I do what I can. ;)

[jadethe2nd]

Oh, wow. That was just chilling.

[budclare]

Thank you. :)

[budclare]

Thanks. :)

[foodsthatcan]

What the other people said. :)

However, I should mention that the first sentence threw me off. I was disoriented by the "nearly physical" and spent the next couple of sentences thinking Kaylee was actually injured. It gave me flashbacks to Kaylee's getting shot in "Serenity" (the pilot, not, obviously, the movie, hee).

But YAY! to getting a drabble trilogy. I eagerly await the final installment, even though the subject matter is sad.

[budclare]

I'm glad you liked it. :)

And I appreciate you telling me about the problem that you had, even though it's not something that I can/will do anything about. (For one thing, changing a line in a fic of exactly 100 words is often quite involved.) It's interesting to know, if nothing else (and genuinely helpful in some cases).

*rereads that paragraph, wondering if it makes sense*

Right. Going to sleep now.

[foodsthatcan]

I understand that drabbles are hard to change, so it's not a request. Just an observation/tiny (constructive, I hope) criticism. You know I love your writing. If I didn't, I wouldn't be taking the time to point out little things like that. :)

[hawkmoth]

Damn.

That packed quite a whallop.

[budclare]

Thank you. :)