[FFX-2] The Eternal and Perpetual Cycle of Becoming (2) (Baralai/Isaaru)

[heyheyrenay]

Title: The Eternal and Perpetual Cycle of Becoming - Part One | Part Two
For: jurhael
Medium: Fanfiction
Request(s): Philosophy: Change: "Will our ways die?"
Fandom(s): Final Fantasy X-2
Characters/Pairings: Baralai/Isaaru
Rating/Warnings: R, questionable politics, mantouching, tl;dr
Feedback: I am SO GREEDY, but yes. YES.
Word Count: 17,600. No, I'm not

Comments

[lassarina]

Overall, I like this very much. I like the slow-building tension, and the way they are still themselves and don't turn into sappy silliness, which is not to imply that I ever expected any such thing from you.

A few things:

The look he gave Isaaru made Isaaru's guilt bloom like forgotten flowers-there was hope in it. This is an interesting image, but it kind of confuses me - do forgotten flowers bloom any differently than the remembered kind?

I like how Isaaru is used to being a representative for people - a nice, subtle reference back to his summoner status.

given that Baralai had not been completely honest with him about or how many on the council cared for his plan. Why is the "or" in there?

"It was the loss of everything. The aeons were the worst, the magic second-I have still not been able to follow in the path of Lady Yuna to relearn the magic. Um. Magic meta YES.

Isaaru wanted to shout at him about friendship, and trust, and why he so feared that there would be no change-only different manifestations of the same doomed spiral. I like the reference back to spirals, since that's brought up so often in FFX.

It had been so long since their ranks had been demolished that Isaaru had been surprised to get the notice of their reformation Lucil-Nooj's second in the Youth League. I think there's a piece of this sentence missing somewhere?

"That girl drives me nuts, it's like she's been chewing on gyshal greens. I think this is a typo - I always thought it was gysahl?

[heyheyrenay]

Thank you very much! I am geeking out a little that you quoted some of my favorite bits back at me. I heart you for feeding my ego. ♥ re: issues! I will take a look at them and try to you know, edit without the crazy insane last minute rushing. I'M SURE THAT EXCUSE IS ACCEPTABLE. XD