(no subject)
If I do fail this quarter I'm thinking I might just move back to Santa Barbara after the year is over. I'm tired of so much already. I'm 19 and I deal with things that a 25 year old should deal with. Thank you mom and dad, thank you for trying so hard to help your child. Dad especially you, you with your two horses and your properties and your selfishness. Sometimes I don't have enough money to buy food, or to pay rent for that matter. You with your two horses, as if you were back in Mexico living the life of a child. Also, I was concerned about someone I love dearly, I told them. But when that person has no trust in you I doubt anything I said was taken to heart. I wonder if he does think that I cheated and if he's telling people thats why he broke up with me...that would make him the lier, or if he believed me when I said that I was getting stuff for my friend and not me...I wouldn't spend money that I don't even have for food on drugs. I'm not that irresponsible. I am letting go finally, it is finally becoming clear to me thatwhatever we had wasn't important enough to him and that he was too afraid and to selfish to try harder that what he did. I deserve someone that is willing to try and willing to trust. not just listen to what others have to say. Little Nemo in Slumberland...I love that movie. Also I'm watching Queer as Folf, it makes me sad, it makes me miss him, but whatever. I'm getting past his untrusting selfish self. Off to watch Alice in Wonderland. Can I get some shrooms?