2007: In the realm of aquatics
2007: In the realm of aquatics
I wonder if our bodies are reconstituted thru science to be nearly all water, does this mean our heart can drown within its confines. As when it rains late at night, and the moon is covered with a heavy grey veil, I sit in my bedroom with the candles aglow, dreaming of a better time. A time where I never knew what longing meant or fully understood the definition to yearning, then again it could an elemental problem. Too much water in my nature, to water locked behind my eyes. I used to think when I was a child that if I cried, shed too many tears my soul would leak out. And I would be trapped in a fleshy shell that blinked and consumed food mechanically.
I decided one day to invite a team beavers to bury themselves inside me and dam up my eyes, my tears wouldn’t escape, my tears would be walled up. Then as the years grew, the beavers moved away but left the dam. The dam still did its job, retaining the pain, keeping the fear and holding back the release but what if the water has became stagnant. An ugly sludge of greenish malaise that hinders progressing thru avenues of love, I don’t know?
I don’t know about any of this but if a person could take my heart and hold it, I used to think a person’s fingers would freeze. I comprehend the factual, if a hand did attempt to hold my heart would get tangled syrupy moss, complete with croaking toads and jewel toned dragon flies. Sounds like a trap, but I am not that crafty.
I could not feasibly go after a person with thoughts of subduing them to my watery prison. Cruelty is not in my forte yet I am in some ways cruel to myself. Afraid to swim thru the currents that life takes one. I have in many ways always been a polite bystander, wading in a pond with giant water lilies and red Koi fish obvious to the unfolding situation. The situation is there is something to be found in raging rivers and expansive oceans rather than the pleasures of gracious pools and grottos.
In the realm of aquatics perhaps I am not meant for swimming briskly. I am one of the few creatures that yet to evolve, it trapped in amber that’s housed in a museum for curious artifacts.
I wonder if our bodies are reconstituted thru science to be nearly all water, does this mean our heart can drown within its confines. As when it rains late at night, and the moon is covered with a heavy grey veil, I sit in my bedroom with the candles aglow, dreaming of a better time. A time where I never knew what longing meant or fully understood the definition to yearning, then again it could an elemental problem. Too much water in my nature, to water locked behind my eyes. I used to think when I was a child that if I cried, shed too many tears my soul would leak out. And I would be trapped in a fleshy shell that blinked and consumed food mechanically.
I decided one day to invite a team beavers to bury themselves inside me and dam up my eyes, my tears wouldn’t escape, my tears would be walled up. Then as the years grew, the beavers moved away but left the dam. The dam still did its job, retaining the pain, keeping the fear and holding back the release but what if the water has became stagnant. An ugly sludge of greenish malaise that hinders progressing thru avenues of love, I don’t know?
I don’t know about any of this but if a person could take my heart and hold it, I used to think a person’s fingers would freeze. I comprehend the factual, if a hand did attempt to hold my heart would get tangled syrupy moss, complete with croaking toads and jewel toned dragon flies. Sounds like a trap, but I am not that crafty.
I could not feasibly go after a person with thoughts of subduing them to my watery prison. Cruelty is not in my forte yet I am in some ways cruel to myself. Afraid to swim thru the currents that life takes one. I have in many ways always been a polite bystander, wading in a pond with giant water lilies and red Koi fish obvious to the unfolding situation. The situation is there is something to be found in raging rivers and expansive oceans rather than the pleasures of gracious pools and grottos.
In the realm of aquatics perhaps I am not meant for swimming briskly. I am one of the few creatures that yet to evolve, it trapped in amber that’s housed in a museum for curious artifacts.