Life in general
I feel like I'm doggy paddling in a riptide for the most part lately. I'm treading water to stay afloat. I'm regretting not working as a rose seller this year. Physically it was straining but financially I know it would have helped a LOT. I also miss not seeing my friends and aiding in romance or watching a dad buy his little girl a rose or playing Engarde with a little kid. I miss wandering around with the basket balanced on my head and getting asked how do you do that, are there magnets? I don't even think I'm going to be able to afford to go down for a day just to visit. Yeah money is that tight. I'm becoming a bit of a homebody and not in a good way, being alone so much depresses me, but walking over mom and dads isn't good. They need their space and I hate cooking for myself and eating alone and feel even weirder taking my plate over to eat with them when they have already eaten or haven't planned to eat dinner yet. I feel more and more like a fish out of water every day. On the positive side, my leg is completely healed. Part of me knows this is the pre-Bday blues I get every year and knowing that I haven't accomplished my dreams I feel like I've failed.