Title: Little Bit Strange, But Still Special
Author: Feygan
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Anita Blake
Pairing: Xander/Spike
Genre: slash, action/adventure, crossover
Rating: mature
Blurb: Xander and Spike end up in the Anita-verse, where they have to hide themselves and fit in. It does not go well.
There was a moment chill silence. Anita's glare nearly had a physical presence, it was so focused on the side of his head.
Xander did not look at her, not wanting to give her an excuse to attack. From the sheer malevolence she was exuding, he thought he'd already managed to make her into an enemy.
Open mouth, insert foot, he thought. It was an old refrain, one that had followed him from elementary school and the first time he'd met Larry Blaisdell.
"Xander is right," Spike said, edging in front of him and blocking Anita's view. "We have other things to do and your succubus routine doesn't work on us."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Anita sat up straight, her legs coming together with a snap.
"Please, you think I haven't been around your kind before?" Xander could hear Spike roll his eyes insultingly. "You're putting out all kinds of pheromones and metaphysical whoodoo to jamble folks' minds. You do all those naughty mind tricks the powers that be around her have declared illegal, yet you never once question your own righteousness. You are one serious piece of work."
"What are you accusing me of?" Anita demanded. "I work with the police."
Spike snorted. "And they're probably the ones that have let you get away with everything you do. But you know, pet, just having a badge at your beck and call doesn't make you a hero. You're still a man-eater at the end of the day. You just walk in lofty company."
Anita looked to Jean-Claude. "Can you believe this guy?"
The French vampire raised an elegant brow, but didn't say anything. He'd probably learned his lesson the hard way.
Spike laughed and Xander wanted to wince. If there was one thing the bleached wonder lacked, it was a sense of tact when he scented an open wound.
"You don't even realize, do you?" Spike asked. "You go around punching holes in your allies' armor and seep your way into the cracks, and you don't even know what you do. What a laugh. If I were one of your human police friends, I'd call in some help and have the whole force checked over for tampering. 'Cause just because you don't know what you've done doesn't mean you haven't put the whammy on the whole bunch of them. I'd call in Unit if I were them."
"You know, if Unit were real and not part of a TV show," Xander said, hoping to add the humor. Anita Blake was not someone he wanted to push, not when she had her guns and a complete lack of perspective.
From what he'd heard on the street, Anita didn't deal well with having her emotions tweaked. When she felt sad, people ended up shot. It wasn't the kind of record he wanted to test.
Even with the soul, Spike still loved to poke the bear. It was an endearing and terrifying trait. One that Xander hoped wasn't going to get them killed. They were in the lair of the beast after all.
"That's not an accusation you want to make," Anita said, her voice going low and dangerous. "You say something like that to the wrong person and you could cause a lot of needless trouble. You should learn to keep your mouth shut." The Or I'll shoot you went unsaid, but was heard nonetheless.
TBC...