Somewhat impromptu Zet Meet and other bits
Yesterday J and I organized a Zet Meet at our place to hang out with klari, who is only Pittsburgh once a year for CMU's Carnival. In doing so, I think we upset G n E, who seem uncomfortable with it because klari is G's ex-girlfriend. Needless to say, they did not show up. Others did though, and a fun time was had by all of us (To be fair, E apparently has
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Also, I have been showing my bracelet around work all day. People have made comments like: "Ooh! So pretty!" And, "It looks just like you. Practical with crazy colors!" I am amazed that, as a non bracelet wearer who types a lot, this bracelet hasn't distracted me at all.
I have a friend who sells photography and wants to shoot my hands anyway. I'll see if he'll photograph the same with the bracelet on.
I didn't mind G's absence. We did have a brief conversation at mobot which was friendly enough. Plus we email. I wouldn't worry about it too much.
There is a school of thought that says that you are supposed to cut ties entirely with your ex. I do understand that. There has been a few circumstances where I did try to get back together exes. G and I did break up over the first summer we were together and thenn got back together when school started again. And one rat bastard (not G)... er... ex... actually made out with me after he had started dating someone else. My mother firmly disapproves of my association with anyone who could be labeled "ex".
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I'm glad to hear your bracelet isn't getting in the way. I have the same problem, which is why I can only wear low-profile sorts of bracelets. I think the flatness of the beads makes them more unobtrusive. Yays for compliments! You are wonderful advertising.
I don't really worry about it all that much, it's just the way things went earlier in the day and then their absence got me a little miffed and I felt the need to vent. Lj is good for venting.
I suppose I understand the idea of completely breaking ties with your ex, and I agree with it for immediate post-break-up situations. It's for the best, obviously. But I don't really follow it after that unless the break-up was particularly bitter and painful. Otherwise, I think it's possible to be friends again. Though with most of my exes, we were sort of friends first and then dated and then stopped speaking and then were friends again. Plus they were friends with my friends or rather we were all part of a larger group of friends, so eventually you just have to let things go. I think it's sort of healthier that way, unless you and/or your ex have a lot of unresolved stuff or just a lot of really shitty stuff between you. Even then, Seth and I are friends now and it was pretty bitter when we broke up. Of course, my next break-up was even worse and it was with the guy who was the reason Seth and I broke up in the first place. And now we can joke about that kind of stuff. The other guy...well, I don't have contact with him, but neither do most of the people he used to hang out with and I think he managed to alienate most of them anyway...so I haven't had much of a chance to reconcile. I would be open to it though, I don't like holding grudges and bad stuff like that for a long time. Which is prolly why I'm all for the getting over it, in time, and maintaining a friendship. After all, aside from a physical attraction, there was prolly something personality-wise that made you like each other and I don't see a whole lot of reason why that bit can't be salvaged. I also think that unless there is some heavy flirting/unresoved stuff/obvious evidence of continued interest, there isn't a whole lot of point to being jealous over a current boyfriend/husband being friends with an ex. It's over, they're over, he's with you, don't worry about it so much. Obvioulsly you have something she lacked, believe in yourself. I'm insecure about a lot of things, but avoiding my or anyone elses exes aren't any of them. Actually, I had several of mine and one of J's at our wedding. I think we put them all on one table, along with a couple of people I almost had relationships with, and one of my bridesmaid's exes as well. Amy and I called it our "woulda, shoulda, coulda" table or something like that.
*note: That ex whom I had the particularly bad break up with, I did sort of try to get back together with, while I was dating another guy on the rebound, and that blew up spectacularly in my face. So I feel ya. My parents really don't know anything about anyone I've ever dated with the exception of J, so I can't say what they would think about the subject.
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