(no subject)
I can't believe it's already one in the morning. Time seems to fly when I'm not working, seeing as that's pretty much all I do anymore. There are so many things I've wanted to write about the past few weeks but for some unknown reason, every time I sit at the computer, I decide against it. I've been very sick since Sunday... which means I've had a lot of time to think, I guess you should say. Between a bladder and sinus infection, amongst many others traveling throughout my body, I have managed to clean my house, decorate for the holidays and maintain at least a small amount of my sanity. While I admit the time off work has been great... I can't wait to go back.
I've been thinking a lot about my housing situation. My room mate (my best friend) seems to have trouble living with me. I clean every day and manage the house, but I'm batshit insane. I guess it's not a good idea for two crazy people to live together. I can never tell if he hates me or if he's happy to have me around. I notice him making little comments that really just kill me inside. Tonight he made a joke about being assertive because I asked him to get the waiters attention at dinner. Yes, I used to be very assertive but since my confidence level fluctuates so much... sometimes I find myself quite shy and reserved. He claims that I simply don't try anymore because I 'realized I could get him to do things for me'. Between him arguing with me about not letting him do things for me and him bitching that I ask too much, I'm not sure who's more difficult to live with. In the end, he's still my best friend... but sometimes it's hard. Maybe if I just don't speak to him... he'll realize that not everything that happens is my fault. But in the reality of things, he'll probably see this and flip out on me anyway.
:::insert lame 'I don't know what I'm doing with my life' rant here:::
I think I'm done for tonight. I'm far too easily distracted.
I've been thinking a lot about my housing situation. My room mate (my best friend) seems to have trouble living with me. I clean every day and manage the house, but I'm batshit insane. I guess it's not a good idea for two crazy people to live together. I can never tell if he hates me or if he's happy to have me around. I notice him making little comments that really just kill me inside. Tonight he made a joke about being assertive because I asked him to get the waiters attention at dinner. Yes, I used to be very assertive but since my confidence level fluctuates so much... sometimes I find myself quite shy and reserved. He claims that I simply don't try anymore because I 'realized I could get him to do things for me'. Between him arguing with me about not letting him do things for me and him bitching that I ask too much, I'm not sure who's more difficult to live with. In the end, he's still my best friend... but sometimes it's hard. Maybe if I just don't speak to him... he'll realize that not everything that happens is my fault. But in the reality of things, he'll probably see this and flip out on me anyway.
:::insert lame 'I don't know what I'm doing with my life' rant here:::
I think I'm done for tonight. I'm far too easily distracted.