*sigh*
well everything in my life is always the same. i think that the continuation of this will make me go insane by the time im 20. if not sooner. i sort of feel like writing but i dont know what about. my life is pulling me apart and pricking at me like a in-grown nail. i feel at the edge of my seat but also layed back because of routine. sure there is safety in it but whats the fun in that? i cant take the schedule of a life with basic inhabitance. who is going to judge me for something that makes perfect sense? why would the same thing over and over be appealing. the thing is. i dont know what or how to change it. it has to be a big deal. sometimes i want no girlfriend, then i realize she is all i really have. would i capture myself if i did something as small as changing something physical that had to do with me? how about a new hair due. or something pierced. something that brings some pain sounds really pleasurable right now. my life is a chaotic routine. any suggestions on how to be a menace? is there lessons to being different? im bored with everything and like over life. its sad. and scary
hearts, ryan
hearts, ryan