not convicted.... but somehow still on death row

[fevlo]

my girl, my girl, dont lie to me
tell me where did you sleep last night

in the pines, in the pines, where the sun dont ever shine
i will shiver the whole night through

its like i am drained
but somehow im a bottomless pit
there is something rotting inside of me

and when i talk im vomiting chunks of this horrible fluid
called my soul
it must be tainted
because there is no other explanation
i want to say im imbalanced
but i fucking doubt it

something needs to come out and i dont know what it is or im going to be tortured until it leaves me
call the fucking exorcist

every day is this ongoing struggle
to not cry
to not explode in anger or sadness or negative thoughts
to not imagine myself exploding in a more literal sense

i just dont know what to do anymore
its like theres no one i can talk to that can help me
and the only person who can help me is myself
but i dont know how to fucking do it

please
i just wish there was an accident so my brain wouldnt be yelling at me any longer
im too much of a coward to do it myself