the price for admission leaves me broke........ you fucker

[fever_to_live]

i met a man who hated his self so much he wouldnt reveal his name.
i walked so much last week, that my ass was sore.
i layed out in the sun till i thought i had cancer.
i pray that this beautidul stranger will come back to me.
my sources say he is in prison.
im lucky to have never experienced such a place.
but i deserve to be locked up,
i often wonder why i never was.

*** * * * ******** * * * ******** * **** * * *

so i wish i could say, it was worth it.
you know, you and me.
and if it was, what a price to pay.
you left yesterday, moved states and miles away, but you did call today
even if it was to talk to her.
and if it was worth it,
i am still sorry for taking your life and fucking it up.
you dont have to say 'it wasnt your fault' again.
just shut up and allow me to tell you how guilty i feel.
just be quiet and let me pretend my words matter.

i want to thank you for the moments
even if you never told anyone, they were there.
i hope giving eachother temporary bliss was worth a permanent removal.
i want to call you up and ask you that question, but i am afraid the answer will be
' i wish i didnt'
because i just wish no one knew and it was just us two
again.
i wish i could say it was all worth it.