pretentiousness......
Next week, the day of reckoning. I know my brain will fail me.
Well why shouldn’t it, what have I done for the past year to keep us on friendly terms? I have allowed my intelligence to waste away, like so many things. A year of trial and tribulation, a year of self-discovery I suppose. Have I found myself? Well, how can there be an answer to that? I have found something indeed, but is it me? Is it my true self or just a substitute allowing my identity to be shielded from the hurt I would have inevitably caused?
I have learnt so much in a year, about life, love and loss. If this is true…how can I have wasted my time? The most valuable lessons in life are the ones you learn from and consequently live by for the rest of your existence. Lessons in life, learning from my mistakes and from real experiences rather then textbooks. This has been the fuel I have been feeding my intellect on my supposed ‘wasted year’. I am full of contradictions…this is now becoming apparent.
I appear to kill off anything good that comes my way. Why can’t I handle happiness? My insecurities are guilty of murder.
I hope that one day I will learn.
Well why shouldn’t it, what have I done for the past year to keep us on friendly terms? I have allowed my intelligence to waste away, like so many things. A year of trial and tribulation, a year of self-discovery I suppose. Have I found myself? Well, how can there be an answer to that? I have found something indeed, but is it me? Is it my true self or just a substitute allowing my identity to be shielded from the hurt I would have inevitably caused?
I have learnt so much in a year, about life, love and loss. If this is true…how can I have wasted my time? The most valuable lessons in life are the ones you learn from and consequently live by for the rest of your existence. Lessons in life, learning from my mistakes and from real experiences rather then textbooks. This has been the fuel I have been feeding my intellect on my supposed ‘wasted year’. I am full of contradictions…this is now becoming apparent.
I appear to kill off anything good that comes my way. Why can’t I handle happiness? My insecurities are guilty of murder.
I hope that one day I will learn.