You Can't Lose What You Don't Have
Title: You Can't Lose What You Don't Have
Genre: General, Romance
Characters: Galen Gryffindor, Helena Ravenclaw, Ciaran O'Liathain, Aina O'Liathain, Adelaide Slytherin
Rating: PG-13 for word usage and plotty things
Word Count: 2830 words
Summary: Helena Ravenclaw receives help from her friends. Still, in the end, choices have to be made.
Warning/s: COMPLETELY AU (based on Founders-canon)
Author's Notes: Written as an alternative ending to a different fic that might be posted here some time soon. Plotty things adjusted to fit Prompt #42. Choices.
Helena jerked awake with a sharp, painful intake of breath. Her frail body convulsed hideously on the stark white sheets. Her eyelids flew open as she continued her struggle for air. Her fingers dug into the mattress beneath her. If she could have screamed, she would have. The pain was unbearable. It felt like she had boiling tar running through her veins. Her chest felt like it was about to burst.
Ciaran looked away. It was horrifying, Helena's rebirth. Of the five surrounding Helena's bed, only Adelaide had the strength to watch. After what seemed like an eternity, Helena's body began to grow limp. Though her breathing was still shallow and insistent like a fish out of water, her convulsions had slowed down from panicked writhing to slight twitching. Her eyes were open but glazed and unseeing.
She was in pain, they knew. But they had saved her. She was alive. Thank Merlin, she was alive. A tear slid down Galen's cheek. Adele wiped it away with a gentle hand.
Rowena had not been difficult to convince. It had been Vortigern that Aina had had to threaten. Then again, with no intention of actually harming the dethroned king, pointing her staff at him would have been pointless. Still, Rowena had given it to her in the end. Aina smiled as she touched the leather-bound book in her satchel. She had done it. Now came the hard part.
Helena awoke rather abruptly. She tried to take a deep breath, but her lungs felt like they were on fire. She winced and tried to move, but couldn't. Panic began to rise as she realized everything hurt but nothing worked.
"Shh..." said a high-pitched voice, attempting to be soothing. "Master has placed a charm on you. It is only temporary."
"Yes, only until your bones mend," added a second squeaky (yet somehow more masculine) voice.
Helena opened her mouth to ask who they were, and more importantly, who this master was. However, when she tried to speak, all she managed to do was create this raspy hiss. Helena heard the door open slowly. Her heart thudded in her chest and she felt the panic rise again. She hated being so weak, so vulnerable. It wasn't until she saw her visitor's face that she began to calm down. Ciaran looked at her tenderly and smiled. He whispered something in Gaelic - a spell, Helena felt the magic press against her - and her eyes began to close. He stroked her head gently and whispered something that sounded like, "Welcome back, Lena."
Aina caught a brief glimpse of a sign that read "Flourish and Blotts" before finding herself lying facedown on the grass, limbs at odd angles. She rolled onto her back and looked at the sky. While she had been far from completely successful, she had done something right. The spell did work. Lady Ravenclaw was indeed a genius.
Helena had no sense of time but was certain it was days before Galen lifted the Body Bind her had placed on her. By this time, she had realized that she was under the care of Galen, Adelaide, Ciaran and two house elves. However, it was usually Ciaran who stayed with her. He was the one who fed her and stayed by her bedside during her waking (and probably sleeping) hours.
Galen had poked her in the arms and legs before lifting the spell. Apparently, Helena had broken all her bones in the fall. Apparently, she had also ruptured several internal organs. Apparently, she had died.
Helena had nightmares about it. Her attempt at suicide. Watching the smoke of the Hogwats Express disappear. A feeling of complete emptiness. Taking that decisive step off Ravenclaw Tower. The wind against her face. The collision. The exact moment her heart stopped. Death. Then...nothing.
She tried not to think of death. She tried not to think of a certain dark-haired boy with a smile that made her heart melt. She tried not to think of his laugh or his touch. She tried not to think of the night he made her his. But even Helena Ravenclaw cannot control her dreams.
"One more step, Lena," Ciaran urged. It had been several weeks since Helena's "accident". Through the careful nursing of her friends, Helena had managed to regain most of her strength.
Today, Helena was trying to get used to walking again. Hands gripping Ciaran's shoulders and Ciaran's hands firmly on her waist, Helena forced her uncooperative leg forward. And while she was actually stumbling instead of walking, Ciaran was nothing but supportive. He didn't even complain about Helena's fingers digging rather painfully into his shoulders.
The rehabilitation happened outside; Ciaran insisted there was magic in the earth. The others agreed.
Galen watched their progress from the doorway of his cottage. Adele emerged from the inside of the house to stand beside Galen. She crossed her arms thoughtfully.
"I think that might be dangerous," she whispered, leaning against Galen.
"No, I think Ciaran can handle it," he answered, putting an arm around Adele. "Have a little faith."
"I'm afraid that's not what I mean," she sighed.
"I know what you mean," Galen whispered back. "Ciaran can handle it."
It was exactly four months and seventeen days since Helena's rebirth that Aina's patronus arrived. Adele and Helena were taking a stroll by the lake while the boys were inside, discussing Helena's progress and their fathers. The lynx slid through the open door and mounted the table. It looked at Galen and Ciaran with steady, silver eyes before speaking in Aina's voice. "I have mastered Lady Ravenclaw's spell. I ask for one more week to prepare myself for the journey. I will Apparate to the cottage then. When I leave, Ciaran, you will be expected to return to the clan. Father has been understanding of your desire to nurse a childhood friend. But once we leave, you must take your rightful place as next leader."
The lynx then disappeared.
Galen turned to look at Ciaran, who was staring at the empty space previously occupied by Aina's patronus.
"Ready?" Galen asked.
Ciaran looked up. Through the window, one had a clear view of the lake and the two women circling the perimeter. "She's been healthy for weeks. She'll survive the trip."
"I meant you."
"Me?" Ciaran looked at Galen. "Well, leading a clan will be difficult, but it is my duty to my people and I will not falter."
Galen nodded and smiled. A lion sprung from his wand and charged out the door. As the lion grew faint, Galen's smile faltered and he worried about Ciaran's choice to dance around the real question.
"We will expect you then. Hope you are well. We send our love," was the lion's reply. Aina nodded. She rolled her shoulders as the lion disappeared. She allowed herself a moment of whimsy. She was not sure what would happen once they met again, but at this point, the mere fact they would be meeting was enough.
Ciaran traced a constellation in the sky with his finger. He and Helena lay on their backs on the grass behind Galen's cottage. They looked at the night sky, studying stellar drift and the constellations. It had been five days since Aina's patronus arrived with its message but no one had told Helena yet. Ciaran figured it was about time. He dropped his hand onto the grass. Helena's fingers immediately linked with his.
"Lena..." Ciaran began. "Aina will be arriving next week."
"Wonderful," Helena replied sleepily, squeezing his hand. "I have missed her."
"Lena, Aina's been to see your mother," Ciaran immediately felt Helena tense beside him. "Aina went to speak to her about the situation--"
Helena's head snapped to the side to look at Ciaran, a protest rising in her throat. Ciaran squeezed her hand, wordlessly asking her to keep silent. She did. He turned his head to the side so that he was looking straight into Helena's bewildered eyes.
"--and your Mother has agreed to share her time travel spell with Aina. With most time spells, the caster can only go backwards in time...but your mother - her spell allows you to go forwards. Days, years...an entire millennium."
Helena knew where he was going with this but was too afraid to hope.
"Helena - you can see Albus again," Ciaran whispered.
Helena closed her eyes, withdrawing her hand from Ciaran's and burying her face in both hands. She began to cry. Ciaran sat up and reached for her. She sobbed freely against his chest, soaking the clothes he had borrowed from Galen. Soon enough, Helena began to calm down and her breathing eased into the steady rhythm of sleep. Ciaran pressed his lips against the top of her head before carrying her back to the cottage.
"Ciaran, tell her," Galen said abruptly at the breakfast table. Adele, in surprise, dropped the cup she was holding. Tea ran unheeded across the wooden table.
"What?" Ciaran asked, genuinely confused.
"I have nothing against Albus Potter, but when it comes down to it, you are my friend. And I'll be damned if I let you throw away what could very well be your happiness without a word."
"I have...in all honesty no idea what you are talking about, Galen. Please speak plainly," Ciaran said, frowning slightly.
"Helena," Galen answered soberly.
Ciaran looked down. "It is my problem. I will deal with it," he muttered before pushing his chair back and rising from the table. "Excuse me."
Adele put a comforting hand on Galen's arm as they watched Ciaran walk away.
Of late, Ciaran had been dressing like Galen since the ladies were not very used to his traditional garb. That and the fact that Thal, one of Galen's house elves, offered him some clothes every time they passed each other. While Sheard, Galen's other house elf, was a little more straightforward and ran after him, carrying a pair of trousers. Still, it was nice to be back in his own clothing as he practiced with his staff.
"Hey, careful with where you point that thing," Helena scolded as a bright ray of magic barely missed the hem of her skirt. She approached him in her immaculately neat blue dress, corset horribly tight. Ciaran never understood the exact purpose of a corset. The women in his clan didn't wear them and they looked beautiful all the same. Still, though he did not quite understand them, he did manage to appreciate the effects.
Helena dangled a cloth in front of him. He took it with a smile and wiped the sweat off his face and forearms. He felt like a dusty little imp next to Helena's unwrinkled dress and well-brushed hair.
"Walk with me?" Helena asked, not waiting for a reply as she walked off. Ciaran caught up with her quickly, falling into step beside her.
"Ciaran, why did you do it?"
"Do what?"
"Revive me."
"It's what friends do."
"No," Helena shook her head. "You could have easily mourned for me and let that be the end of things. Besides, all of you should have been on your way home like all the other students. Why weren't you?"
Ciaran remained silent. Helena grabbed his arm. "Ciaran."
Ciaran shook his head.
"Please."
"What purpose would it serve?" Ciaran asked, exasperated. He stopped walking and looked at the sky. "There is no real need for you to know."
Helena stepped around so she was facing him. She held his face in her hands and made him look at her. "Ciaran. I've always trusted you to be someone I can count on to not talk to me in riddles. I've always trusted you to be straightforward and honest with me."
Ciaran clenched his jaw and Helena felt it under her fingers. Ciaran held Helena's hands and pulled them away from his face. "Because I let you die once and I wasn't going to let it happen again."
Helena blanched. "What?"
"When I was twelve, someone killed you."
Helena shivered. "Who...? Why...?"
"I don't know the whole story," Ciaran said, shaking his head sadly. "You ran away to Albania for some reason or the other. Next thing I heard was a spurned suitor had followed you and that you were dead."
Helena shook her head disbelievingly and looked towards the cottage. "Galen and Adelaide?"
"They know."
Helena stared at Ciaran, willing him to tell her it didn't really happen. When he did not, she pressed on. "So you used Gaelic spells and elf magic to bring me back. But why?"
"Because I lost you once and I wasn't about to let it happen again without a fight!" Ciaran declared. He stepped back and let out a chuckle that was not at all amused. "I still lost you in the end."
"Ciaran..." Helena whispered.
Ciaran made a small noise. "What am I saying? You were never mine to lose in the first place."
They were silent for a few moments. "I never knew."
"I never meant for you to. I always thought it was a little school boy crush and when you died..." the expression on Ciaran's face was heart-breaking. "And then you were at Hogwarts - alive - and all I could think was that some greater force had given me another chance...for something. But, no, it wasn't for me."
Helena stepped forward, reaching for Ciaran's arm. Ciaran stepped away. "Go back to the cottage, Lena."
"Ciaran..."
"GO!" Helena staggered backwards and took off running.
Aina arrived the next day. She was greeted warmly. Ciaran had missed her terribly. The girls soon disappeared into Helena's room to talk before Aina and Helena left, leaving the men behind outside. Galen and Ciaran stood in the receiving room, not speaking. Galen took a deep breath and approached Ciaran.
"It's now or never, Ciaran," he whispered.
"She already knows."
"You told her? When?" Galen was actually quite surprised.
"Last night."
"And...?"
"What do you really expect, Galen? That she'd abandon the chance to be with the boy she took her life for to be with a nomad she remembers as a baby covered in flour?" Ciaran replied flatly.
Galen shrugged. He didn't really know what to say. If Ciaran had not been so morose while speaking, Galen would have been offended. As it was, Galen wanted to hug Ciaran and tell him things would be okay. Unfortunately, he would have been lying as Galen did not know that for sure. But he hoped. He hoped.
Helena's bedroom door opened. The three laides emerged with different expressions on their faces. Aina looked eager and ready; Helena switched between excited and morose; and Adele appeared worried but supportive. Helena's and Ciaran's eyes met and Ciaran gave her a small, sad smile. He hadn't meant for it to be sad, he just was.
Outside, the quintet said their goodbyes. Galen gave Helena a big lion hug reminiscent of Godric's. Ciaran gave her a hug as well, but gentler. "I read the guilt on your face, Lena. Don't be. There is no reason to be. None of this is your fault," he whispered as he hugged her. As he released her, Helena looked at Ciaran to say something but he was already giving Aina a kiss. Adele kissed Helena's cheek and wished her luck.
"So all you have to do is stay inside the circle," Aina explained. "I'll do all the work this time. Of course, you have her journal and I do not doubt you can learn the spell if there is any need to."
Helena nodded mutely, clutching her mother's spellbook against her chest. She was rather petrified. What if she could not find Albus? What if she did and he did not remember?
Aina began to draw a circle on the ground with her staff. This part of the spell was of her own design; Rowena's spell being intended only for the caster.
The three that were to remain behind stood a few feet away from Aina and Helena. Ciaran's hands clenched and unclenched. Galen shifted uncomfortably. Finally, Galen hissed: "Ask her."
Ciaran shook his head.
"Ask her," Galen insisted.
Aina finished the circle. She entered it and raised her staff.
"Ask her, damnit!" This time, it wasn't Galen but Adele. She looked at Ciaran with large eyes.
Helena followed Aina into the circle, her mother's spellbook in her hand.
Ciaran stepped forward. "Helena!" he called out. She looked at him. "I love you. Stay."
Aina nearly dropped her staff in surprise at her brother's words. She stared at him disbelievingly. He what?
Helena froze and looked back at Ciaran. She turned to Aina, who was still looking rather astonished. She looked from one O'Liathain to the other. One offered her a chance back to the man she loved. The other was a man who loved her. The choices were impossible; the decision, painful. Still, the choice was hers to make. Though she dearly wished it wasn't.
Genre: General, Romance
Characters: Galen Gryffindor, Helena Ravenclaw, Ciaran O'Liathain, Aina O'Liathain, Adelaide Slytherin
Rating: PG-13 for word usage and plotty things
Word Count: 2830 words
Summary: Helena Ravenclaw receives help from her friends. Still, in the end, choices have to be made.
Warning/s: COMPLETELY AU (based on Founders-canon)
Author's Notes: Written as an alternative ending to a different fic that might be posted here some time soon. Plotty things adjusted to fit Prompt #42. Choices.
Helena jerked awake with a sharp, painful intake of breath. Her frail body convulsed hideously on the stark white sheets. Her eyelids flew open as she continued her struggle for air. Her fingers dug into the mattress beneath her. If she could have screamed, she would have. The pain was unbearable. It felt like she had boiling tar running through her veins. Her chest felt like it was about to burst.
Ciaran looked away. It was horrifying, Helena's rebirth. Of the five surrounding Helena's bed, only Adelaide had the strength to watch. After what seemed like an eternity, Helena's body began to grow limp. Though her breathing was still shallow and insistent like a fish out of water, her convulsions had slowed down from panicked writhing to slight twitching. Her eyes were open but glazed and unseeing.
She was in pain, they knew. But they had saved her. She was alive. Thank Merlin, she was alive. A tear slid down Galen's cheek. Adele wiped it away with a gentle hand.
Rowena had not been difficult to convince. It had been Vortigern that Aina had had to threaten. Then again, with no intention of actually harming the dethroned king, pointing her staff at him would have been pointless. Still, Rowena had given it to her in the end. Aina smiled as she touched the leather-bound book in her satchel. She had done it. Now came the hard part.
Helena awoke rather abruptly. She tried to take a deep breath, but her lungs felt like they were on fire. She winced and tried to move, but couldn't. Panic began to rise as she realized everything hurt but nothing worked.
"Shh..." said a high-pitched voice, attempting to be soothing. "Master has placed a charm on you. It is only temporary."
"Yes, only until your bones mend," added a second squeaky (yet somehow more masculine) voice.
Helena opened her mouth to ask who they were, and more importantly, who this master was. However, when she tried to speak, all she managed to do was create this raspy hiss. Helena heard the door open slowly. Her heart thudded in her chest and she felt the panic rise again. She hated being so weak, so vulnerable. It wasn't until she saw her visitor's face that she began to calm down. Ciaran looked at her tenderly and smiled. He whispered something in Gaelic - a spell, Helena felt the magic press against her - and her eyes began to close. He stroked her head gently and whispered something that sounded like, "Welcome back, Lena."
Aina caught a brief glimpse of a sign that read "Flourish and Blotts" before finding herself lying facedown on the grass, limbs at odd angles. She rolled onto her back and looked at the sky. While she had been far from completely successful, she had done something right. The spell did work. Lady Ravenclaw was indeed a genius.
Helena had no sense of time but was certain it was days before Galen lifted the Body Bind her had placed on her. By this time, she had realized that she was under the care of Galen, Adelaide, Ciaran and two house elves. However, it was usually Ciaran who stayed with her. He was the one who fed her and stayed by her bedside during her waking (and probably sleeping) hours.
Galen had poked her in the arms and legs before lifting the spell. Apparently, Helena had broken all her bones in the fall. Apparently, she had also ruptured several internal organs. Apparently, she had died.
Helena had nightmares about it. Her attempt at suicide. Watching the smoke of the Hogwats Express disappear. A feeling of complete emptiness. Taking that decisive step off Ravenclaw Tower. The wind against her face. The collision. The exact moment her heart stopped. Death. Then...nothing.
She tried not to think of death. She tried not to think of a certain dark-haired boy with a smile that made her heart melt. She tried not to think of his laugh or his touch. She tried not to think of the night he made her his. But even Helena Ravenclaw cannot control her dreams.
"One more step, Lena," Ciaran urged. It had been several weeks since Helena's "accident". Through the careful nursing of her friends, Helena had managed to regain most of her strength.
Today, Helena was trying to get used to walking again. Hands gripping Ciaran's shoulders and Ciaran's hands firmly on her waist, Helena forced her uncooperative leg forward. And while she was actually stumbling instead of walking, Ciaran was nothing but supportive. He didn't even complain about Helena's fingers digging rather painfully into his shoulders.
The rehabilitation happened outside; Ciaran insisted there was magic in the earth. The others agreed.
Galen watched their progress from the doorway of his cottage. Adele emerged from the inside of the house to stand beside Galen. She crossed her arms thoughtfully.
"I think that might be dangerous," she whispered, leaning against Galen.
"No, I think Ciaran can handle it," he answered, putting an arm around Adele. "Have a little faith."
"I'm afraid that's not what I mean," she sighed.
"I know what you mean," Galen whispered back. "Ciaran can handle it."
It was exactly four months and seventeen days since Helena's rebirth that Aina's patronus arrived. Adele and Helena were taking a stroll by the lake while the boys were inside, discussing Helena's progress and their fathers. The lynx slid through the open door and mounted the table. It looked at Galen and Ciaran with steady, silver eyes before speaking in Aina's voice. "I have mastered Lady Ravenclaw's spell. I ask for one more week to prepare myself for the journey. I will Apparate to the cottage then. When I leave, Ciaran, you will be expected to return to the clan. Father has been understanding of your desire to nurse a childhood friend. But once we leave, you must take your rightful place as next leader."
The lynx then disappeared.
Galen turned to look at Ciaran, who was staring at the empty space previously occupied by Aina's patronus.
"Ready?" Galen asked.
Ciaran looked up. Through the window, one had a clear view of the lake and the two women circling the perimeter. "She's been healthy for weeks. She'll survive the trip."
"I meant you."
"Me?" Ciaran looked at Galen. "Well, leading a clan will be difficult, but it is my duty to my people and I will not falter."
Galen nodded and smiled. A lion sprung from his wand and charged out the door. As the lion grew faint, Galen's smile faltered and he worried about Ciaran's choice to dance around the real question.
"We will expect you then. Hope you are well. We send our love," was the lion's reply. Aina nodded. She rolled her shoulders as the lion disappeared. She allowed herself a moment of whimsy. She was not sure what would happen once they met again, but at this point, the mere fact they would be meeting was enough.
Ciaran traced a constellation in the sky with his finger. He and Helena lay on their backs on the grass behind Galen's cottage. They looked at the night sky, studying stellar drift and the constellations. It had been five days since Aina's patronus arrived with its message but no one had told Helena yet. Ciaran figured it was about time. He dropped his hand onto the grass. Helena's fingers immediately linked with his.
"Lena..." Ciaran began. "Aina will be arriving next week."
"Wonderful," Helena replied sleepily, squeezing his hand. "I have missed her."
"Lena, Aina's been to see your mother," Ciaran immediately felt Helena tense beside him. "Aina went to speak to her about the situation--"
Helena's head snapped to the side to look at Ciaran, a protest rising in her throat. Ciaran squeezed her hand, wordlessly asking her to keep silent. She did. He turned his head to the side so that he was looking straight into Helena's bewildered eyes.
"--and your Mother has agreed to share her time travel spell with Aina. With most time spells, the caster can only go backwards in time...but your mother - her spell allows you to go forwards. Days, years...an entire millennium."
Helena knew where he was going with this but was too afraid to hope.
"Helena - you can see Albus again," Ciaran whispered.
Helena closed her eyes, withdrawing her hand from Ciaran's and burying her face in both hands. She began to cry. Ciaran sat up and reached for her. She sobbed freely against his chest, soaking the clothes he had borrowed from Galen. Soon enough, Helena began to calm down and her breathing eased into the steady rhythm of sleep. Ciaran pressed his lips against the top of her head before carrying her back to the cottage.
"Ciaran, tell her," Galen said abruptly at the breakfast table. Adele, in surprise, dropped the cup she was holding. Tea ran unheeded across the wooden table.
"What?" Ciaran asked, genuinely confused.
"I have nothing against Albus Potter, but when it comes down to it, you are my friend. And I'll be damned if I let you throw away what could very well be your happiness without a word."
"I have...in all honesty no idea what you are talking about, Galen. Please speak plainly," Ciaran said, frowning slightly.
"Helena," Galen answered soberly.
Ciaran looked down. "It is my problem. I will deal with it," he muttered before pushing his chair back and rising from the table. "Excuse me."
Adele put a comforting hand on Galen's arm as they watched Ciaran walk away.
Of late, Ciaran had been dressing like Galen since the ladies were not very used to his traditional garb. That and the fact that Thal, one of Galen's house elves, offered him some clothes every time they passed each other. While Sheard, Galen's other house elf, was a little more straightforward and ran after him, carrying a pair of trousers. Still, it was nice to be back in his own clothing as he practiced with his staff.
"Hey, careful with where you point that thing," Helena scolded as a bright ray of magic barely missed the hem of her skirt. She approached him in her immaculately neat blue dress, corset horribly tight. Ciaran never understood the exact purpose of a corset. The women in his clan didn't wear them and they looked beautiful all the same. Still, though he did not quite understand them, he did manage to appreciate the effects.
Helena dangled a cloth in front of him. He took it with a smile and wiped the sweat off his face and forearms. He felt like a dusty little imp next to Helena's unwrinkled dress and well-brushed hair.
"Walk with me?" Helena asked, not waiting for a reply as she walked off. Ciaran caught up with her quickly, falling into step beside her.
"Ciaran, why did you do it?"
"Do what?"
"Revive me."
"It's what friends do."
"No," Helena shook her head. "You could have easily mourned for me and let that be the end of things. Besides, all of you should have been on your way home like all the other students. Why weren't you?"
Ciaran remained silent. Helena grabbed his arm. "Ciaran."
Ciaran shook his head.
"Please."
"What purpose would it serve?" Ciaran asked, exasperated. He stopped walking and looked at the sky. "There is no real need for you to know."
Helena stepped around so she was facing him. She held his face in her hands and made him look at her. "Ciaran. I've always trusted you to be someone I can count on to not talk to me in riddles. I've always trusted you to be straightforward and honest with me."
Ciaran clenched his jaw and Helena felt it under her fingers. Ciaran held Helena's hands and pulled them away from his face. "Because I let you die once and I wasn't going to let it happen again."
Helena blanched. "What?"
"When I was twelve, someone killed you."
Helena shivered. "Who...? Why...?"
"I don't know the whole story," Ciaran said, shaking his head sadly. "You ran away to Albania for some reason or the other. Next thing I heard was a spurned suitor had followed you and that you were dead."
Helena shook her head disbelievingly and looked towards the cottage. "Galen and Adelaide?"
"They know."
Helena stared at Ciaran, willing him to tell her it didn't really happen. When he did not, she pressed on. "So you used Gaelic spells and elf magic to bring me back. But why?"
"Because I lost you once and I wasn't about to let it happen again without a fight!" Ciaran declared. He stepped back and let out a chuckle that was not at all amused. "I still lost you in the end."
"Ciaran..." Helena whispered.
Ciaran made a small noise. "What am I saying? You were never mine to lose in the first place."
They were silent for a few moments. "I never knew."
"I never meant for you to. I always thought it was a little school boy crush and when you died..." the expression on Ciaran's face was heart-breaking. "And then you were at Hogwarts - alive - and all I could think was that some greater force had given me another chance...for something. But, no, it wasn't for me."
Helena stepped forward, reaching for Ciaran's arm. Ciaran stepped away. "Go back to the cottage, Lena."
"Ciaran..."
"GO!" Helena staggered backwards and took off running.
Aina arrived the next day. She was greeted warmly. Ciaran had missed her terribly. The girls soon disappeared into Helena's room to talk before Aina and Helena left, leaving the men behind outside. Galen and Ciaran stood in the receiving room, not speaking. Galen took a deep breath and approached Ciaran.
"It's now or never, Ciaran," he whispered.
"She already knows."
"You told her? When?" Galen was actually quite surprised.
"Last night."
"And...?"
"What do you really expect, Galen? That she'd abandon the chance to be with the boy she took her life for to be with a nomad she remembers as a baby covered in flour?" Ciaran replied flatly.
Galen shrugged. He didn't really know what to say. If Ciaran had not been so morose while speaking, Galen would have been offended. As it was, Galen wanted to hug Ciaran and tell him things would be okay. Unfortunately, he would have been lying as Galen did not know that for sure. But he hoped. He hoped.
Helena's bedroom door opened. The three laides emerged with different expressions on their faces. Aina looked eager and ready; Helena switched between excited and morose; and Adele appeared worried but supportive. Helena's and Ciaran's eyes met and Ciaran gave her a small, sad smile. He hadn't meant for it to be sad, he just was.
Outside, the quintet said their goodbyes. Galen gave Helena a big lion hug reminiscent of Godric's. Ciaran gave her a hug as well, but gentler. "I read the guilt on your face, Lena. Don't be. There is no reason to be. None of this is your fault," he whispered as he hugged her. As he released her, Helena looked at Ciaran to say something but he was already giving Aina a kiss. Adele kissed Helena's cheek and wished her luck.
"So all you have to do is stay inside the circle," Aina explained. "I'll do all the work this time. Of course, you have her journal and I do not doubt you can learn the spell if there is any need to."
Helena nodded mutely, clutching her mother's spellbook against her chest. She was rather petrified. What if she could not find Albus? What if she did and he did not remember?
Aina began to draw a circle on the ground with her staff. This part of the spell was of her own design; Rowena's spell being intended only for the caster.
The three that were to remain behind stood a few feet away from Aina and Helena. Ciaran's hands clenched and unclenched. Galen shifted uncomfortably. Finally, Galen hissed: "Ask her."
Ciaran shook his head.
"Ask her," Galen insisted.
Aina finished the circle. She entered it and raised her staff.
"Ask her, damnit!" This time, it wasn't Galen but Adele. She looked at Ciaran with large eyes.
Helena followed Aina into the circle, her mother's spellbook in her hand.
Ciaran stepped forward. "Helena!" he called out. She looked at him. "I love you. Stay."
Aina nearly dropped her staff in surprise at her brother's words. She stared at him disbelievingly. He what?
Helena froze and looked back at Ciaran. She turned to Aina, who was still looking rather astonished. She looked from one O'Liathain to the other. One offered her a chance back to the man she loved. The other was a man who loved her. The choices were impossible; the decision, painful. Still, the choice was hers to make. Though she dearly wished it wasn't.