(no subject)
I've always said I go by the whole Carpe Diem philosophy. Recently I've realised that I'm living less and hoping to die more. Not because I'm depressed or sad about anything, but because i don't feel like i fit into the world anymore. All of these aspirations i had growing up seem to get further away with every decision i make. I just wish i could be more independent and self-motivated like i used to be.
I've been called to fill in a position on another contract which will consist of texas, oklahoma, and nevada so far as i know. i'm trying to weigh the pro's and con's, but i hate having to figure these things out with so little time. it almost seems like i'm supposed to go though, like some external force is telling me to get the fuck out of here. I think i've already lost my best friend to another, i hate being second on the list. i dunno what to do.
i've been taking some natural supplements that boosts seratonin, so i can't get depressed over the issue, but it's still just as hard, if not harder, to make a decision.
ugh.
i wish the world would just cut the fucking foreplay and end already.
I've been called to fill in a position on another contract which will consist of texas, oklahoma, and nevada so far as i know. i'm trying to weigh the pro's and con's, but i hate having to figure these things out with so little time. it almost seems like i'm supposed to go though, like some external force is telling me to get the fuck out of here. I think i've already lost my best friend to another, i hate being second on the list. i dunno what to do.
i've been taking some natural supplements that boosts seratonin, so i can't get depressed over the issue, but it's still just as hard, if not harder, to make a decision.
ugh.
i wish the world would just cut the fucking foreplay and end already.