Soul-searching day #5
"I walk alone on this path
Searching for answers -- searching for love
Regret the acts from the past, disguised as light
I uncover a window -- I fill the room with light
I struggle for my life -- revived for a second
Disguised as light"
* * *
Took a "me" day today - just like all the others lately. Heh.
My internal dialogue was very confused, seeing that I'm back in Montreal, living in my cluttered space, with things to do. Still, I did a little, then decided I needed to disconnect and find my silent bubble again. But really silent.
So I went downtown, watched two movies at the Paramount and bought two TV series. All things I normally couldn't do with only EI, but I've had a recent monetary wind blow my way and this could be allowed.
My internal dialogue ended with this plain and simple truth, one I used in years past, but never on myself... Simple, but powerful:
I have the power to do anything I want, to create whatever I wish for, and to accomplish everything.
The human body and mind are limited, but the scope of their applications isn't.
I can paint canvas, draw stories and write worlds into existence. I can create an exquisite dress or the barest of utilitarian garments. I can cook, run, jump, sing and express myself. I have been absorbing knowledge all my life, and while I'll never have the gall to call myself a master of anything, I'm not blowing things out of proportions when I call myself a jack-of-all-trades.
I can carry conversations in literary English or French as well as follow the rules of etiquette of several subcultures if not perfectly then at the very least appropriately. I know how to blend in, how to do so, and whether it's what I want or not. I'm not a prisoner of my knowledge or my environment, yet I know my place in it.
But that's only the regular stuff. Given time to learn, and we always do, I could compose a symphony, calculate a star's mass, lift boulders, design my future house, become a father, perform basic surgery... I can do anything.
All that's needed is the will, and that is one thing I've always had in spades.
It's not a bad thing. And it can be applied to all aspects of my life.
I'm happy with that.