Exhausted But Getting There
Wow life has taken so many turns lately. I've been through a range of just about every emotion...denial, anger, acceptance, and everything between. Hurray for coping mechanisms!! I'm not going to write it all down because some of it is just irrational emotions and outburts that are mostly untrue and don't need to be read by all of you (not that you couldn't "handle it," just that I don't feel there would be any benefit in it). Long story short, these past few weeks have proved to be some of the most trying of my life. That which does not kill you makes you stronger, but turns out we’re pretty much on our death bed…hell I’m so tired I know I’d sleep there (wow how NOT funny was that?). Anyways, as always I’ve been dwelling on one aspect of my life and not really living in the other aspects and it’s dragging me down. I’m starting to move past it all and just try to be happy again. There are moments where I catch myself back in that phase, that feeling of untouchable happiness, but they quickly sparkle and fade. Today I completed something that really helped me just move past a lot of the pointless bullshit and realize what I really think and feel. God, writer’s block is a bitch, and I hate that I’m going to start out the week tired since it’s 1:21 am and I still have to shower and pack. You see children, I was writing my “personal essay” for English. Assignment: Write a personal essay on one of the topics below. It should be three pages double spaced, size 12 font, and in MLA format. What mine ended up being: A personal essay which was in fact is 1.9 spacing, size 11.5 font, and eight and a half pages. I think it got way more “personal” and detailed than I had anticipated and I’m sure than my new teacher wanted to read. If you want to read it, let me know and I’ll be happy to email it to you, though I must say, it will seem immensely repetitive to most of you. I’m happy with it only in the sense that it’s like one final push to just move on with life and come to terms with everything. It’s too long, it’s not very well connected or written, but it’s what I needed, and despite the fact that it's not good, it's still really important to me. Yeah, umm sooo....all you have to do is ask! Well take care & best wishes with school because I know I've never worked this hard on so few subjects and been SO tired every day.