Fic: This Little Light of Mine (SPN)
Title: This Little Light of Mine
Author: fete_in_june
Pairings/Characters: Anna, Uriel, Castiel, Balthazar
Ratings/Contents: PG
Spoilers: None
Notes: Originally written for Blindfold round 5 for the prompt Anna/Uriel/Cas/Bal, thingstiellism- That one time when they were lighter, wick, wax and flame. Finally reposting.
It’s an exercise in control, in patience, and most of all, in Faith. None of the other garrisons have ever tried anything so dangerous. But Anna is determined, and Castiel will follow where she leads. This, she says, will bring Glory to their Father. It will be a beacon of love and hope, the greatest gift any of them can offer.
Uriel is not convinced. He finds it too dangerous and cannot understand why Anna finds it necessary. What’s about to happen doesn’t have anything to do with them, after all; God is about to bestow the ultimate gift on his newest creations, and Uriel has nothing but contempt for them. He doesn’t speak of it, not usually, not in any explicit terms, but they all know where Uriel’s loyalties lie.
It’s this more than anything that Anna assigns him the role of Lighter. Uriel asks how she knows he won’t just refuse to light. She just smiles and tells him that when the time comes, he will perform his duty. He’s a soldier, after all, and she is his superior. He won’t disobey.
To Castiel she assigns the role of Wick. Castiel is unshaking in his Faith, unquestioning in his loyalty, and hardly trembles when he receives his assignment. It is the toughest of all, to be burned like that, but Castiel is determined. He honestly believes with all his being that God will not let him be burned. It’s exactly what Anna needs from her Wick.
But he does tremble, and Balthazar sees. He wraps his Grace around their youngest brother, reassuring him. God will not let him be burned. And even better, Balthazar will not let him be burned. Castiel gives a tiny smile at this and tells Balthazar he’s close to blasphemy. Thinking that he can do what God cannot. Balthazar laughs and holds him tighter. It’s not blasphemy, he says. After all, one of Balthazar’s duties is to watch over his younger siblings. It’s God’s will, and being loyal to God’s will can never be considered blasphemy.
Watching them together, Anna assigns Balthazar the role of Wax.
That leaves Flame for her. She is confident and capable. She knows that if any of them falter, Castiel will be burned and Balthazar will be melted, but she would not assign her garrison this task if she had the slightest doubt about her brothers’ abilities.
She orders them to prepare, and that night, their hymns are louder than any others.
~ * ~
Castiel steps into position first. His form thins, lengthens, shifts, twists into something new. It’s uncomfortable, but Castiel prays, and he bears it. He takes the Wick’s form and praises his Father’s name. Then he stills. The others have their work to do, and he will not be responsible for ruining their gift. He remains in place. His prayers soften, and while they still echo through the Heavens, his garrison is nearly deaf to Castiel’s words. His older brothers and sister can still feel it, though, Castiel’s devotion flowing through them as though it were their own.
Balthazar is the next to take his place, or perhaps it is Uriel-Castiel is not quite sure. He cannot see the Lighter, from his position, but he can feel the Wax. Balthazar wraps himself around Castiel, warm and protective. His vision grows darker as Balthazar molds his form to Castiel’s, shielding him from Anna. For the first time, Castiel is truly frightened. For if they fail, it will not only be he who is burnt, but Balthazar who is melted. He has seen the aftermath of a failed Wax.
Shh, Castiel, don’t think such things, Balthazar whispers in his mind. He shifts minutely, the Wax still soft enough to move. It is a reassuring caress, Castiel realizes. I will be fine. God will not let me melt. Not while I am shielding you. And neither will you be burnt. Your Faith will save you, as mine will save us both.
He wishes the Wick were capable of returning the gesture. As it is, he can only bend his tip forward and stroke the top of the Wax. But Balthazar laughs, and Castiel is pleased in the knowledge that he has given some reassurance. And Balthazar prays with him, then, their voices mixed, rising fast. Balthazar has never quite been one for devotions without purpose, but here-he does not ask God for protection, does not try to bargain favors from their Father. Here, he simply praises, and Castiel feels his Grace soaring alongside his brother’s own. The rush of Faith and prayer, intensity like he’s never felt before. Not even in the Choirs. Not even amongst all of the Host. Castiel and Balthazar do not recite any of the prayers they’ve been taught. They do not follow any pattern or code. They simply speak, and Castiel knows that when they begin, they will be saved.
Then they are moved, dropping fast out of Heaven, suspended in the night sky over Earth. He can see the stars twinkling through the Wax. The Wax has hardened, now, and Balthazar can no longer shift over Castiel. He is a shield. It is comforting, Castiel thinks, that his brother is protecting him-and yet were it not for Balthazar’s continued prayers, Castiel would not be able to recognize this solid, silent, unmoving form as Balthazar.
Anna strokes them, tells them to wait, tells them she is nearly ready. Castiel wishes they had forms like humans, so that he might clasp Balthazar’s hand as he has seen humans do in times of great trial. But he cannot. All he can do is wait, and pray, and let Balthazar’s Grace flow over his own.
There’s a soft click and the addition of a deep voice, a solid beating heart in the very center of their prayers. Castiel knows it’s the Lighter.
~ * ~
There is no pain.
Anna, the Flame, sets down upon Castiel and burns brighter than anything, so bright Castiel is forced to close down what little sight he still has, lest he lose it completely. He feels the tip of himself charring and flaking away, yet there is no pain.
Balthazar melts. Castiel feels the hot Wax pooling near him, surrounding him, but Balthazar does not scream, and his prayers do not falter. Anna’s own litany joins them, every word sending another pulse of bright light through her Flame that Castiel can feel, despite the darkness. He hears Uriel as well, his prayers thrumming through them, a deeper devotion than Castiel has ever heard from his brother.
They are surprising him, all of them, and he is shamed.
His prayers hit a higher note, a litany for forgiveness, which is freely bestowed by his garrison and, he thinks, by his Father. He laughs in joy, and they burn all the brighter for it.
They wait like that until the task is complete. Shining brighter than any star, than anything on Earth or in Heaven, pouring their Light and their Love on one tiny little barn, and guiding travelers to their Father’s newest miracle.
Author: fete_in_june
Pairings/Characters: Anna, Uriel, Castiel, Balthazar
Ratings/Contents: PG
Spoilers: None
Notes: Originally written for Blindfold round 5 for the prompt Anna/Uriel/Cas/Bal, thingstiellism- That one time when they were lighter, wick, wax and flame. Finally reposting.
It’s an exercise in control, in patience, and most of all, in Faith. None of the other garrisons have ever tried anything so dangerous. But Anna is determined, and Castiel will follow where she leads. This, she says, will bring Glory to their Father. It will be a beacon of love and hope, the greatest gift any of them can offer.
Uriel is not convinced. He finds it too dangerous and cannot understand why Anna finds it necessary. What’s about to happen doesn’t have anything to do with them, after all; God is about to bestow the ultimate gift on his newest creations, and Uriel has nothing but contempt for them. He doesn’t speak of it, not usually, not in any explicit terms, but they all know where Uriel’s loyalties lie.
It’s this more than anything that Anna assigns him the role of Lighter. Uriel asks how she knows he won’t just refuse to light. She just smiles and tells him that when the time comes, he will perform his duty. He’s a soldier, after all, and she is his superior. He won’t disobey.
To Castiel she assigns the role of Wick. Castiel is unshaking in his Faith, unquestioning in his loyalty, and hardly trembles when he receives his assignment. It is the toughest of all, to be burned like that, but Castiel is determined. He honestly believes with all his being that God will not let him be burned. It’s exactly what Anna needs from her Wick.
But he does tremble, and Balthazar sees. He wraps his Grace around their youngest brother, reassuring him. God will not let him be burned. And even better, Balthazar will not let him be burned. Castiel gives a tiny smile at this and tells Balthazar he’s close to blasphemy. Thinking that he can do what God cannot. Balthazar laughs and holds him tighter. It’s not blasphemy, he says. After all, one of Balthazar’s duties is to watch over his younger siblings. It’s God’s will, and being loyal to God’s will can never be considered blasphemy.
Watching them together, Anna assigns Balthazar the role of Wax.
That leaves Flame for her. She is confident and capable. She knows that if any of them falter, Castiel will be burned and Balthazar will be melted, but she would not assign her garrison this task if she had the slightest doubt about her brothers’ abilities.
She orders them to prepare, and that night, their hymns are louder than any others.
~ * ~
Castiel steps into position first. His form thins, lengthens, shifts, twists into something new. It’s uncomfortable, but Castiel prays, and he bears it. He takes the Wick’s form and praises his Father’s name. Then he stills. The others have their work to do, and he will not be responsible for ruining their gift. He remains in place. His prayers soften, and while they still echo through the Heavens, his garrison is nearly deaf to Castiel’s words. His older brothers and sister can still feel it, though, Castiel’s devotion flowing through them as though it were their own.
Balthazar is the next to take his place, or perhaps it is Uriel-Castiel is not quite sure. He cannot see the Lighter, from his position, but he can feel the Wax. Balthazar wraps himself around Castiel, warm and protective. His vision grows darker as Balthazar molds his form to Castiel’s, shielding him from Anna. For the first time, Castiel is truly frightened. For if they fail, it will not only be he who is burnt, but Balthazar who is melted. He has seen the aftermath of a failed Wax.
Shh, Castiel, don’t think such things, Balthazar whispers in his mind. He shifts minutely, the Wax still soft enough to move. It is a reassuring caress, Castiel realizes. I will be fine. God will not let me melt. Not while I am shielding you. And neither will you be burnt. Your Faith will save you, as mine will save us both.
He wishes the Wick were capable of returning the gesture. As it is, he can only bend his tip forward and stroke the top of the Wax. But Balthazar laughs, and Castiel is pleased in the knowledge that he has given some reassurance. And Balthazar prays with him, then, their voices mixed, rising fast. Balthazar has never quite been one for devotions without purpose, but here-he does not ask God for protection, does not try to bargain favors from their Father. Here, he simply praises, and Castiel feels his Grace soaring alongside his brother’s own. The rush of Faith and prayer, intensity like he’s never felt before. Not even in the Choirs. Not even amongst all of the Host. Castiel and Balthazar do not recite any of the prayers they’ve been taught. They do not follow any pattern or code. They simply speak, and Castiel knows that when they begin, they will be saved.
Then they are moved, dropping fast out of Heaven, suspended in the night sky over Earth. He can see the stars twinkling through the Wax. The Wax has hardened, now, and Balthazar can no longer shift over Castiel. He is a shield. It is comforting, Castiel thinks, that his brother is protecting him-and yet were it not for Balthazar’s continued prayers, Castiel would not be able to recognize this solid, silent, unmoving form as Balthazar.
Anna strokes them, tells them to wait, tells them she is nearly ready. Castiel wishes they had forms like humans, so that he might clasp Balthazar’s hand as he has seen humans do in times of great trial. But he cannot. All he can do is wait, and pray, and let Balthazar’s Grace flow over his own.
There’s a soft click and the addition of a deep voice, a solid beating heart in the very center of their prayers. Castiel knows it’s the Lighter.
~ * ~
There is no pain.
Anna, the Flame, sets down upon Castiel and burns brighter than anything, so bright Castiel is forced to close down what little sight he still has, lest he lose it completely. He feels the tip of himself charring and flaking away, yet there is no pain.
Balthazar melts. Castiel feels the hot Wax pooling near him, surrounding him, but Balthazar does not scream, and his prayers do not falter. Anna’s own litany joins them, every word sending another pulse of bright light through her Flame that Castiel can feel, despite the darkness. He hears Uriel as well, his prayers thrumming through them, a deeper devotion than Castiel has ever heard from his brother.
They are surprising him, all of them, and he is shamed.
His prayers hit a higher note, a litany for forgiveness, which is freely bestowed by his garrison and, he thinks, by his Father. He laughs in joy, and they burn all the brighter for it.
They wait like that until the task is complete. Shining brighter than any star, than anything on Earth or in Heaven, pouring their Light and their Love on one tiny little barn, and guiding travelers to their Father’s newest miracle.