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Aug 12, 2008 01:18

 Ehhhhhh. Summer is almost over. This sucksss. I really don't want it to be over, not yetttt. I'm enjoying it way too much. I'm soo not ready for college. My first day at Middlesex is September 2nd or 3rd, i'm not sure which one, but it's definitely one of those. I'm pretty nervous. It's going to be a whole different ball game. The only good thing is, I won't be leaving home just yet, I'm living at home while i'm at Middlesex so I won't be home sick at all. I'm just reeeally reeally REEEALLY going to miss all of my friends who are leaving... and my boyfriend Eddie, most of all. He's seriously my best friend in the world. I spend all of my time with him and i'm with him almost every single day. It's going to be so weird without him when he leaves for college. He's going all the way to New York for school at Hobart and William Smith. It's gonna blowwww. Butttt, it will all be okay. I just don't know what i'm going to do when I need him and he's like, 6 hours away. Mehhh. Not really looking forward to it.

Things have been getting a little confusing lately. But I'm not naive like I used to be... well, atleast I'd like to think that i'm not... and i'm not going to let myself fall into any more traps. Everytime I think i'm about to snap, i've been good to not give in. I have an extremely happy life right now and I don't want to ever ruin it. Although, Eddie leaving for college so far will definitely be putting a damper on the perfect, happy life right now..... but i'll still have him... it just sucks that the only way of communication until he comes home is a cell phone. I guess it's just something i'll have to get used to.

I've been thinking about my past a lottt lately. And it's scary to think of how much of an idiot I used to be. Like, I honestly made myself look like a fool sooo many times. What the hellll was I thinking?! And why weren't any of my friends telling me to stoppp?! Haha... seriously, it's bad. Well, I have to give SOME of my friends credit. A few of them warned me, but I never listened.

I sometimes wonder how different my life would be if things had gone a different way. I used to think there was a way to make my life go back to the way it used to be. But then I remembered nothing will ever change... WOULD ever change unless you'd overcome the fear of your friends. That's really all it is... or was...? I honestly don't know anymore.

Anyway, enough of that emo shit.

My birthday is coming up on August 24th, and i'll be turning 18 years old!!! I'll officially be... as some like to say.... LEGAL. ;) I'll be an adult... and i'm pretty pumped about it!
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