Shlocktober
Ah, October! The most malleably-named month of the year. Every day I hear a new vendor declare this lunar cycle “Rocktober.” A car lot here in Jacksonville does it, as did a classic rock station back home, and I know of a beer called Rocktoberfest.
Now being a big fan of the rock and all, I am all for this use of the name. If there were a way to fuse “rock” to “William” I’d have done it years ago. And October does seriously rock. Ma Nature yells at the trees to turn down that damn chlorophyll, leaving a lovely orange silence amidst the cooling temperatures. And then there’s Halloween, which is a whole other bucket of worms or other such creepy crawly bug warranted by said holiday.
But all rocking aside, like any good thing “Rocktober" has become overused and slightly cliché. We need new names for this month. Perhaps “Clocktober,” to celebrate daylight savings time. Or “Spocktober,” for a month of Star Trek fun. For hoodlums, van snatchers, and gang-bangers alike, may I suggest “Glocktober.” And if you’re a fan of beer and sausage and want to celebrate it all year, I recommend a sort of warm-up party, inevitably called “Mocktoberfest.”
October is many things to many people, and thanks to the magic of bad puns, we can celebrate the richness of our culture while annoying friends and coworkers with a litany of prefix tomfoolery.
Now being a big fan of the rock and all, I am all for this use of the name. If there were a way to fuse “rock” to “William” I’d have done it years ago. And October does seriously rock. Ma Nature yells at the trees to turn down that damn chlorophyll, leaving a lovely orange silence amidst the cooling temperatures. And then there’s Halloween, which is a whole other bucket of worms or other such creepy crawly bug warranted by said holiday.
But all rocking aside, like any good thing “Rocktober" has become overused and slightly cliché. We need new names for this month. Perhaps “Clocktober,” to celebrate daylight savings time. Or “Spocktober,” for a month of Star Trek fun. For hoodlums, van snatchers, and gang-bangers alike, may I suggest “Glocktober.” And if you’re a fan of beer and sausage and want to celebrate it all year, I recommend a sort of warm-up party, inevitably called “Mocktoberfest.”
October is many things to many people, and thanks to the magic of bad puns, we can celebrate the richness of our culture while annoying friends and coworkers with a litany of prefix tomfoolery.