Holding this moment
So i was siting at lunch today, and i kept comtemplating people....god damn, some people at our school have a real hard time considering their image, the way they look and act, and building upon that. Most girls cant go out without make up, and the often wear skirts that are a little bit bigger than their shoe. I was about to have a nervous breakdown because of it. All i get from this is a huge wave of insecurity, and how people cant seem to be able to live with themselves. I felt like their words were vomit. I was sitting down, dehydrated, and i wanted to leave high school again.....
but then i realized how good life has actually been....
right now, i have a wonderful girlfriend, i couldnt ask for more, and that alone is enough for my happiness.... she really is more than i could ever ask for. She is everything i look for, and shes FAR away from the girls i despise. I truly mean it when i say i would not date anyone else, because honestly, most girls are dirt.
my friends are truly the best human beings i know. Yes, they have faults and failures, but they also keep up and take a lot of my shit, and i love them. Im not gonna say they mosh harder, or that they are "better than your friends" cos thats bullshit. Some things are better left unsaid, and the feelings i have for them cant take form into words.
Yes, im still straight edge, im still drug free, im stronger than ever, and i feel more free than ive ever felt. I have no addictions, no ties to anything cept for my friends, family and girlfriend (and these are ties i choose to have) and it feels wonderful. Im not a high school junk, im not a drunk and i never will be, im not the stereotype of high school teenager and i never will be, i cant, its not in me. Im gonna sound like an asshole and a dick, im going to also sound conceited and many other shit adjectives, but im just better than that. There is nothing in my life that will make me use alcohol to have fun. I have no depression or shit in my life that is bad enough for me to escape through the use of drugs or alcohol, and even if i did have those kind of problems, I CAN DO IT ON MY OWN. I dont need substances, i dont need depressants, or painkillers, or a buzz to deal with my problems. I dont want to use a crutch, and i dont have to.
The bands, feeding frenzy and roadkill, are going awesome. Even tho FF is on kinda a hiatus, we still play shows. Were gonna change that and actually write more songs, and theyre gonna kick ass. At the show on saturday, 22 million people listened to us through XM radio, and we got interviewed. The only things missing from there were Rick and Daryl. Also, we were missing a lotta kids that shouldve showed up. Most went to Nightmare Fest, but thats fine cos good bands played there. After the show we skated....enough said.
School blows, most people will never change, and theres gonna be shallow douchebags everywhere....my only salvation is that some natural disaster occurs or something along the lines that will make people apreciate the life they have, and be more consistent in making their lives and everyones lives better, because we REALLY only have 1 planet (i still love meat) and 1 chance.
I hate preaching, ive always have, i believe were all put here to make our own decisions, but id love to make an impact on someone and have them reconsider their life, and hopefully change for the best.
everyone that has touched my life, all of my friends, kim...i love all of you
theres some hxc references...can you find them all?!?!
but then i realized how good life has actually been....
right now, i have a wonderful girlfriend, i couldnt ask for more, and that alone is enough for my happiness.... she really is more than i could ever ask for. She is everything i look for, and shes FAR away from the girls i despise. I truly mean it when i say i would not date anyone else, because honestly, most girls are dirt.
my friends are truly the best human beings i know. Yes, they have faults and failures, but they also keep up and take a lot of my shit, and i love them. Im not gonna say they mosh harder, or that they are "better than your friends" cos thats bullshit. Some things are better left unsaid, and the feelings i have for them cant take form into words.
Yes, im still straight edge, im still drug free, im stronger than ever, and i feel more free than ive ever felt. I have no addictions, no ties to anything cept for my friends, family and girlfriend (and these are ties i choose to have) and it feels wonderful. Im not a high school junk, im not a drunk and i never will be, im not the stereotype of high school teenager and i never will be, i cant, its not in me. Im gonna sound like an asshole and a dick, im going to also sound conceited and many other shit adjectives, but im just better than that. There is nothing in my life that will make me use alcohol to have fun. I have no depression or shit in my life that is bad enough for me to escape through the use of drugs or alcohol, and even if i did have those kind of problems, I CAN DO IT ON MY OWN. I dont need substances, i dont need depressants, or painkillers, or a buzz to deal with my problems. I dont want to use a crutch, and i dont have to.
The bands, feeding frenzy and roadkill, are going awesome. Even tho FF is on kinda a hiatus, we still play shows. Were gonna change that and actually write more songs, and theyre gonna kick ass. At the show on saturday, 22 million people listened to us through XM radio, and we got interviewed. The only things missing from there were Rick and Daryl. Also, we were missing a lotta kids that shouldve showed up. Most went to Nightmare Fest, but thats fine cos good bands played there. After the show we skated....enough said.
School blows, most people will never change, and theres gonna be shallow douchebags everywhere....my only salvation is that some natural disaster occurs or something along the lines that will make people apreciate the life they have, and be more consistent in making their lives and everyones lives better, because we REALLY only have 1 planet (i still love meat) and 1 chance.
I hate preaching, ive always have, i believe were all put here to make our own decisions, but id love to make an impact on someone and have them reconsider their life, and hopefully change for the best.
everyone that has touched my life, all of my friends, kim...i love all of you
theres some hxc references...can you find them all?!?!