(no subject)
today:
i found out that our prints were due for critique today. and since id been sick for the last two weeks i didnt even fucking have my plate completely etched, nevermind have any prints to show.
my car engine blew up on my way home to get my shit so i could rush back to school and plead with the teacher to let me turn in my prints late.
i missed class because i was sitting in the fucking mechanics forever.
i borrowed my moms van and went back to campus so i could at least finish my plate and start printing.
but!!!!!!!
i didnt leave it in the acid long enough, or the acid was too weak because it didnt etch shit into my plate.
and i only found this out after washing off all the hard-ground (the shit you pput on the plate to keep the acid from eating it all, and what you draw your design into)
so i have to fucking start ALL OVER!!!!
...and this fucking plate, ive had the worst time with it. ive had to fucking re-draw my design, which is really complex, like fucking 7 times...i already had one anxiety attack over this fucking plate.
eveything seems to be just fucking falling apart in front of me.
i have to take out a fucking student loan to get a new car because my parents ALSO have no money.
i would just rather die.
im tired of taking the leap of faith.
im fucking sick of this, im sorry camus.
im just not strong enough.
i wish i were.
but this shit, this fucking shit i keep getting handed.
seriously, what the fuck did i do in my past lives for this?!!!!
..this is me officially giving up.
where the fuck is some ny-quil?!
i found out that our prints were due for critique today. and since id been sick for the last two weeks i didnt even fucking have my plate completely etched, nevermind have any prints to show.
my car engine blew up on my way home to get my shit so i could rush back to school and plead with the teacher to let me turn in my prints late.
i missed class because i was sitting in the fucking mechanics forever.
i borrowed my moms van and went back to campus so i could at least finish my plate and start printing.
but!!!!!!!
i didnt leave it in the acid long enough, or the acid was too weak because it didnt etch shit into my plate.
and i only found this out after washing off all the hard-ground (the shit you pput on the plate to keep the acid from eating it all, and what you draw your design into)
so i have to fucking start ALL OVER!!!!
...and this fucking plate, ive had the worst time with it. ive had to fucking re-draw my design, which is really complex, like fucking 7 times...i already had one anxiety attack over this fucking plate.
eveything seems to be just fucking falling apart in front of me.
i have to take out a fucking student loan to get a new car because my parents ALSO have no money.
i would just rather die.
im tired of taking the leap of faith.
im fucking sick of this, im sorry camus.
im just not strong enough.
i wish i were.
but this shit, this fucking shit i keep getting handed.
seriously, what the fuck did i do in my past lives for this?!!!!
..this is me officially giving up.
where the fuck is some ny-quil?!