(no subject)
First-off, I should open by stating the obvious, it has been quite a time since my last entry. This occurs for two reasons; one: because this is Mom's computer and she has priority to use it whenever, and two, because the day to day occurances in my life aren't really that exciting to write about. I am only continuing to do this to update people on the little tidbits of my life that may interest some, I don't talk on the phone very often at all so it's really the only way people can find out what's going on in my life.
Precious is indeed doing better. She got weighed on Friday when she got her Lupron shot and she gained .2 grams. Not a significant gain I agree, but it's certainly better than the loss of weight she suffered from at the beginning of the month. In fact, the three ferrets in the big cage have almost ingested three pounds of their food in the last two weeks, an EXTREME amount of food for them. Bear ate very little of those 1.5 pound bags; I have to refill his bowl once every few days. The others have a huge bowl, and it gets refilled every day. Honest to God, I think it's mostly Precious catching up on the food she wasn't eating, almost every time I go into my room, she's eating and making a MESS while doing it, lol. So for the moment, everything in "Ferretworld" seems to be going well. *Knock on wood*.
Next is a paragraph full of bitching. My back is in BIG TIME pain!! A few months back (I think that's when it was, my perception of time is attrocious) I went to the Dartmouth General racked with huge pains in my lower back; it felt not like muscle spasms which I occasionally suffer from, but like my back was stiff as a board and couldn't relax. That's exactly what I've been experiencing the last few days, and it only feels like it's getting worse. I spend most of my day lying down on the couch with the heating pad, or over at Joel's on his couch with the heating pad. Today, he offered to loan me some money (actually he gave it to me as a "present" but I don't work like that, he's getting it back) and he took me to the Pharmasave for some over-the-counter back relaxers. Get this, you could pay $20.99 for 40 tablets of brand name, or 40 tablets of Pharmasave extra strength for $7.99!! So you can probably guess which I bought, and let me tell you, they are horse pills!! I took the two and while I was doing this, Joel read on the bottle that it can cause drowsiness and dizziness. When I got home 10 minutes later, I was almost on my ass I was so tired. They seem to be helping a lot, thanks a lot Joel!! =) You are a saviour!!
Speaking of Joel, I have been opening his eyes to the magical world of Harry Potter. He would always come into my room and see my books and tease me about reading "kids books" and made fun of the movies constantly. Let's just say he sang a different song after seeing the first one, and we plan on watching "The Goblet of Fire" tomorrow. Never knock it until you try it, ESPECIALLY if it's Harry Potter you are dealing with!! =)
Therapy report: things are getting serious. I tried going to the mall by myself a couple of weeks ago, and when I told Paul Freeman, he decided this means I can go to the Penhorn Terminal and back twice a week. I have mixed feelings about this, I've been doing little baby steps for years, and now I'm batting in the big leagues. I wish that we could have worked up to this a lot better, but despite this, I'm going to do it once my back is better. I am scared, but my determination is stronger, and nothing's going to hold me back. I need independance, I need to exist in a world that I've never knew. I have to do this for myself, for my family, for my future with Joel, to have a better friendship with my friends.
My biggest fear is Mic Mac Mall, the size, the amount of people, everything. Instead of working myself up to Penhorn, then to Mic Mac, Paul suggested if he thinks I'm ready, I might be able to get a job somewhere super close to home so I can start paying off bills and feel like a human again, THEN work towards my biggest fear. Again, scary thought, but anything's better than where I am now.
I'm scared, but determined.